Other Cards You Won't See in the Store...

Get well soon.....sorry but i was the one who threw the stick in front of you. (Added by ~~Annie~~)
How can I miss you when you don't go away? (Added by smackedass)
Roses are red,cabbages are green,
you've got a figure like a washing machine! (Added by Yaz)
A little hi, a little low; I seen your daughter today, she's a ho. (Added by Kelly)
Happy Vasectomy! Thank God there will never be another one like you. (Added by Spud)
Time to go on a diet....you know you're fat when your butt is moving and you are not. (Added by Spud)
So your daughter's a hooker and it spoiled your day, look on the bright side, she's a really good lay! (Added by Mary Putty)
I saw you walking on the street the other day, and I was going to say Hi, but I didn't want to disturb you at your job. (Added by Kimmy D.)
Thank you for the wonderful gift you sent.....if the guards hadn't found the file you stashed inside it, I'd be able to thank you in person! (Added by JohnDough)
I thought about you today........and I almost stepped in it! (Added by ZurpZurp)
No this is not a Hallmark - I dont care enough to send the very best. (Added by Robert)
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. When's the due date? (Added by Lisa)
I really want to be friends with you, I just don't want to see you or talk to you! (Added by LEA)
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was made beautiful, what the hell happened to you? (Added by SarahC)
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I don't think it is worth chewing through the leather straps! (Added by Leighanne)
I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober. (Added by Mark)
Oh honey, I'm so sorry your father died. So what did he leave for us? (Added by daisy)
If only I could put into words how I felt about you... but then I'd be arrested for using profanity in public. (Added by Kati)
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. (Added by RoAnn)
My tire was thumping,I thought it was flat,When I stopped to look....I noticed your cat. Sorry! (Added by Raccoon)
We all heard you had a vasectomy and just wanted you to let you know we're sure that the world will be a better place now. (Added by Kelly)
As Valentine's Day approaches, remember: Your are utterly alone! HAHAHAHAHA! Loser! (Added by Kiss_The_Cat)
Son, you're finally moving out to college. I thought I'd miss you, so I bought a pig to simulate your living style. (Added by Virgo)
Will you be my intern? (Added by Brightshadow)
Congratulations on finding a new boyfriend. Maybe now you'll stay away from mine. (Added by Orangeboots)
Your new dress is great! It makes your big butt not stick out as much (Added by Natasha)
Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife. (Added by Jennifer)
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go tho, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again. (Added by Dave)
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened, especially since you survived. (Added by Charles@UNM)
Congratulations on getting Married! It's not every day you decide to ruin your life! (Added by Charles@UNM)
I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. While I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly. (Added by Charles@UNM)
Your mom and I were looking through your baby pictures and it made me wonder, How the Hell did you turn out so ugly? (Added by Charles@UNM)
Just remember... Jesus Loves You -- Everyone else thinks you're an idiot. (Added by Dave Higgins)
Glad you retired before somebody shot up the place. (Added by LHC)
I saw this brick and thought of you. Sorry about the broken glass. (Added by A. Reed)
I like your new hat. It must suck to be bald and ashamed of it. (Added by Twistermime)
I saw you driving down the road the other day, and I just had to let you know that you can't drive for shit. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
I walked down the frozen fish isle and it made me think of you. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
I heard you were sick and I wanted to say I hope you get worse. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
How can I find the words to express that I slept with your mom. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
We heard you tried to commit suicide, and we all got together to say how sorry we were that you didn't succeed. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
I just wanted to let you know you are really fat. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
Thanks for stabbing me in the back, you bitch. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
Your new haircut is awful--the way your hair was before was a lot more attractive. (Added by Morrigan Condo)
Has anyone ever told you that you have really bad breath? (Added by Morrigan Condo)
When you told me your dog was missing, I just had to let you know that I ran over your yappy, annoying little fleabag with my car. (Added by Morrigan Condo)

Cards for all occasions!
Anniversary Cards! * Birthday Cards! * Birth Announcements! * Get Well Cards! * Congratulations Cards! * Holiday and Christmas Cards! * Love, Lust and Get Lost Cards! * Cards for Any Other Occasion!
Tell us what you want to see on a card! *
Back to the Main Cards Page