Cards You Won't See In the Stores!

Cards You Won't See In the Stores!
('Cause they say what we REALLY want to say...)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You've been dumped (Candy girl)

You're a hot enough chick. I would date you. But my boyfriend would probably be upset. (Josh Zimmerman)

Smokey Bear says Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires.....By not lighting your birthday cake! (Emma Ture)

Get well soon.....sorry but i was the one who threw the stick in front of you. (~~Annie~~)

Having you in my life makes me feel all warm inside... but that's because you make it a living hell! (CJ)

How can I miss you when you don't go away? (smackedass)

You were my world until you became as bIG AS ONE (lilangel)

I'm happy to hear about your brother's wedding. I'm also happy that it wasn't me marrying him. (Kimmy D.)

Sorry I have to dump you, but your parents are no longer able to afford the monthly payments. (k8)

Of course I liked you when we first met. You were much better looking then. (k8)

It's not that I don't find you attractive. Well, okay maybe it is. (k8)

Happy Birthday! You're an ace!
I love those crow's feet on your face! (Kelly)

Roses are red,cabbages are green,
you've got a figure like a washing machine! (Yaz)

Save your breath on those candles... you'll need it to blow up your date! (Patty)

A little hi, a little low; I seen your daughter today, she's a ho. (Kelly)

HAPPY ANIVERSARY! I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your ass! (Firefly)

Thanxs for making my life a misery (Sarah)

I hope you get well soon. Your wife and that other guy are really keeping the neighborhood awake at night. (Kimmy D.)

Happy Vasectomy! Thank God there will never be another one like you. (Spud)

Time to go on a diet....you know you're fat when your butt is moving and you are not. (Spud)

Congratulations on your promotion! All those years of sleeping with the boss finally paid off! (Kelly)

You made my life a fairy tale - bloody Grimm!! (Em)

You're a spiritual person....I'll put it this way...it seems that my Karma ran over your Dogma.....sorry! (Julie-Anne)

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.....hate me because your boyfriend thinks so! (sara)

We have a love hate relationship... You love me and I hate you! (Amanda)

I never knew how much I could hate someone till I met you! (Tracie)

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR WEDDING, WISH YOU HAD TIME TO PICK SOMEONE BETTER! (lori raub)

I'll do your chores 'til you're better...so you better get well soon, or else! (Coolia)

So your daughter's a hooker and it spoiled your day, look on the bright side, she's a really good lay! (Mary Putty)

Before you I was alone.....I was much happier then. (clover)

I made my list, and checked it twice! And you're not on it! (John)

I'm so sorry we had to break up after so many years of great sex, but guess what? . . . I WAS FAKING IT! HA! (Killer Onion)

I saw you walking on the street the other day, and I was going to say Hi, but I didn't want to disturb you at your job. (Kimmy D.)

Would you please stop emailing me love notes, I think my computer is going to be sick. (Jenny)

You have nice hands... could you please keep them out of my shirt? (Jenny)

To My Dear Wife - You're all I want for Christmas... unless I can get a toolbox. (Jenny)

To my husband, I am leaving you for religions reasons, you think you are God , and I DON'T!! (Amber)

Thank you for the wonderful gift you sent.....if the guards hadn't found the file you stashed inside it, I'd be able to thank you in person! (JohnDough)

Congratulations on the birth of your son! May he grow up strong and healthy, and may your wife never find out about him! (JohnDough)

YOU WERE A DREAM COME TRUE........AND NOW I CURSE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING (FARDEEN)

Here's something to make your hospital stay shorter-there's been a different car parked in your driveway every night. (James Seigfreid)

I thought about you today........and I almost stepped in it! (ZurpZurp)

I love you because you take my breath away.....every time you put the pillow over my head. (Shannon)

Roses are red, violets are blue, garbage is dumped, and so are you!! (Jenn)

Umm...at your age, do you even have enough energy to get up over the hill? (Kyla)

No this is not a Hallmark - I dont care enough to send the very best. (Robert)

Sorry to hear about your accident, if you die, can I have your motorcycle? (Barb)

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. When's the due date? (Lisa)

Happy Anniversary! Staying together for the children I see. (Sunset)

Happy Anniversary, Honey. I wish there was an easier way to break it to you, but it's gonna be our last. (Jenny)

Cards for all occasions!
Anniversary Cards! * Birthday Cards! * Birth Announcements! * Get Well Cards! * Congratulations Cards! * Holiday and Christmas Cards! * Love, Lust and Get Lost Cards! * Cards for Any Other Occasion!
Tell us what you want to see on a card! *
Back to the Main Cards Page

Cards for all occasions! Anniversary Cards! * Birthday Cards! * Birth Announcements! * Get Well Cards! * Congratulations Cards! * Holiday and Christmas Cards! * Love, Lust and Get Lost Cards! * Cards for Any Other Occasion! Tell us what you want to see on a card! * Back to the Main Cards Page

Cards for all occasions!
Anniversary Cards! * Birthday Cards! * Birth Announcements! * Get Well Cards! * Congratulations Cards! * Holiday and Christmas Cards! * Love, Lust and Get Lost Cards! * Cards for Any Other Occasion!
Tell us what you want to see on a card! *
Back to the Main Cards Page