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- Path: sparky!uunet!olivea!pagesat!netsys!agate!remarque.berkeley.edu!muffy
- From: uunet!infmx!hartman@ncar.UCAR.EDU (Robert Hartman)
- Newsgroups: soc.feminism
- Subject: Re: Women's and men's safety
- Message-ID: <1job5o$15p@agate.berkeley.edu>
- Date: 22 Jan 93 08:27:36 GMT
- References: <1id4svINNbu0@agate.berkeley.edu> <1id7cjINNctb@agate.berkeley.edu> <1993Jan6.193752.29924@Princeton.EDU>
- Sender: muffy@mica.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy)
- Organization: Informix Software, Inc.
- Lines: 58
- Approved: muffy@mica.berkeley.edu
- NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
- Originator: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu
-
- After listening to a number of people talk about the different
- perceptions of voluntary and involuntary risks, their rights as
- law-abiding citizens to walk as they see fit, advice to women to appear
- confident and alert, and so forth, it still strikes me that the
- position of a man walking alone vs. that of a woman alone at night is
- disproportionate. Even if we suppose that men are equally prone to
- being mugged at night (the statistics showing that more men are mugged
- weighed against those showing that more men are out and about), men
- generally don't have to be concerned with the additional risk of being
- raped. Now it may well be true that a mugging is just as traumatic as
- a rape. Not having experienced either, I really can't say. But this
- isn't the view on which our common assumptions are made.
-
- For a man, the risk of going out at night appears to be more like a
- personal train crash. --Messy and painful, but generally repairable.
- But for a woman, going out alone at night might appear more like a
- personal Chernobyl. --An utter disaster that cannot be undone.
-
- Yes we all have rights. And yes, men can choose to walk in whatever
- fashion they like to assert their dignity when out alone at night. But
- if being a man means that I can't afford to take into consideration the
- feelings of those around me, even if they're strangers, there's
- something wrong. I'm not acting like a criminal when I give a woman a
- comfortably-wide berth. I'm acting like a considerate person. It
- doesn't cost me a thing to do that.
-
- I guess I'm secure enough in my dignity to understand and not take it
- personally when a woman I don't know refuses to assume that I'm not a
- rapist. Because if she ever made that assumption about a man and
- guessed wrong, it might torment her for the rest of her life. Given
- those stakes, and considering how much the opinion of a stranger I'll
- never see again really matters to me, I can afford to be a good sport
- about it. If I behaved otherwise, I'd feel that I would be acting more
- the criminal.
-
- If a minor behavioral adjustment on my part can bring a huge sense of
- relief to another person in my vicinity, why shouldn't I make it?
- After having done this for a good many years now, I can tell you that
- it's really no trouble at all. And every once in a while, a woman
- gives me an acknowledgement, which is very nice when it happens.
-
- So I know that men are going to do what they're going to do. As a man,
- this is what _I_ choose to do. I'm not saying other men should be
- _forced_ to do it this way. But I can't think of a single good reason
- why a man shouldn't. To me, saying you won't because you have rights
- and you aren't a criminal just doesn't cut it. That may be why
- you don't _have_to,_ and I'm not advocating that you be forced to.
-
- But really, is there any good reason why you _shouldn't?_
-
- -r
-
-
- --
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