NetNews Usenet Archive 1993 #3/NN_1993_3.iso/spool/misc/fitness/9802

Internet Message Format | 1993-01-25 | 6.5 KB

Path: sparky!uunet!noc.near.net!genrad.com!genrad.com!not-for-mail
From: [e-mail] (Pete Peterson)
Newsgroups: misc.fitness
Subject: Re: NordicFlex Gold, Amazing product!
Date: 25 Jan 1993 14:08:24 -0500
Organization: GenRad, Inc.
Lines: 111
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
References: <[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.genrad.com
Keywords: unrealistic, advertising, expectations

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (art wittmann) writes:
 >
 >I was watching a bit of TV the other day when a saw an ad for
 >an amazing product.  The NordicFlex Gold is much like the soloflex,
 >but much more impressive.  As the ad started out, the machine
 >didn't look all that impressive, but the announcer explained the
 >way it could transform your body into exactly the one you wanted.
 >
 >Not only did our hero get some new mass, BUT he also lost significant weight,
 >lost all the hair on his upper body, got a new hair cut and began excreting
 >baby oil from his pours!  Now I don't mind telling you, I was impressed.
 >I mean the announcer said the device was better than soloflex, but how
 >could I have expected this?  No where on the machine did I see any device
 >that appeared capable of shaving this guy's chest let alone give him a new
 >hair style.  Very impressive indeed!  On the other hand the baby oil
 >secretion has he a bit worried.  What might this machine be doing to cause
 >such biological changes.  I don't think this is likely to be good in the
 >long run.  Always secreting oil like that, it might be hard just to stay
 >seated in a chair.

There are lots of plausible possibilities that you've overlooked.  Why do you
assume that the hair was shaved off by the machine or even that it was
shaved off at all?

Perhaps it disappeared as a result of Adriamycin (doxorubicin) therapy
which would also explain the weight loss.  Alternatively, since it doesn't
seem likely that all the muscle gain was due entirely to using the Nordic
Flex according to their recommended schedule of 20 minutes per day, three
days per week, perhaps he was also taking some drugs that, in addition to
building up his muscles, caused his hair to fall out.  Then in either case,
perhaps he went to Hare Club for Men to get a formed rabbit-pelt to cover
his head.

Now, how do you know you saw baby oil?  Who would ever use baby oil on
other than a baby --- is this even legal --- is there not a "not for use on
persons over 2 years of age" statement on the bottle?  As most of us are
aware, the hair on our heads gets greasy if it's not washed every day.
Maybe body hair is the same way and if the hair all falls out, the grease
is emitted anyhow from the remaining hair holes, causing a greasy body.
Can any bald persons verify that the top of the head gets greasy even with
no hair growing there?  Another possibility is that the greasy look is from
some kind of ointment put on to deal with some skin disease that also
caused the hair loss.

Note that the advertisement also promotes the decrease in body fat.  This
makes it clear that the hair loss was not intentional, but rather an
undesirable side effect.  After all, hair is primarily protein with no fat;
clearly shaving it off increases the percentage of body fat, making them
able to claim less fat-percentage decrease.

 >Anyway, now on to my question; does anyone have one of these truly remarkable
 >devices?  If so, tell us how it works, I mean if it's not a secret or
 >something like that.  I know some times, with these revolutionary products
 >they don't want you to tell unless people buy.
 >
 >Gotta love advertising!

Someone does indeed have one of them.  On this newsgroup, on 11 January,
there was a testimonial from a satified user who, while pointing out some
of the limitations and deficiencies of the machine, said that, over all, he
liked it very much and would recommend it.


Do you really expect advertising which straightforwardly describes a
product and its relationship to other products in a neutral, unbiased way?

Perhaps you expect to see the following ads on the tube this week:

    Buy Palmolive dishwashing detergent.  Laboratory tests have shown it to
    be just like any other dishwashing detergent, but it costs more than
    generic detergents and therefore greatly enhances the profit margins of
    the manufacturers.  (pictures showing identical dishwashing results and
    scanning the 30 page lab report accompany the ad)

    Come join Bally (in whatever the local instantiation is called).  This
    offer is for a limited time.  Ends Wednesday (they always end
    Wednesday).  Of course there will be another identical offer ending
    next Wednesday and every Wednesday after that until somebody puts us
    out of business for our shady business practices and deceptive
    advertisements.  Thirty-five pages of restrictions apply, with new ones
    being added every day. You may attend on all days of the month that are
    both primes and perfect squares.  Note that the club is closed on the
    first of each month to allow us to count our money.  This class of
    membership allows use of the club between the hours of 2 AM and 5 AM,
    provided that the club is open at that time.  Join our thousands of
    dissatisfied customers at your local neighborhood Bally's.  (Pictures
    show "customers" doing pushups in the parking lot and pullups in the
    trees outside the local Bally's).

    Waddle right out and buy Super Slim Fast.  Our undistinguished product
    may allow you to lose weight without the obviously bad side effect of
    developing good eating habits or engaging in that awful tiring exercise
    stuff.  It allows you to spend a lot more money than you would if you
    ate real food, thus making a helpful contribution to the American
    economy, not to mention the profit margins of our company.  It tastes
    terrible, unlike the real chocolate milkshakes which the actors in our
    advertisements are really consuming; this gives you a feeling of
    self-sacrifice which is a psychological benefit.  (This ad is
    accompanied by "before" and "after" pictures showing a sickly looking
    person whose weight went from 485 to 478 after 12 weeks on Super Slim
    Fast contrasted with another healthy looking person whose weight went
    from 170 to 150 in the same 12 weeks eating that disgusting product
    know as "food".)

Note that I have not used any of the above products/services; the
descriptions are based on information I have read.


    pete peterson
    [e-mail]
    [phone] x2478; Home: [phone] (Chelmsford, MA)