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- Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!darwin.sura.net!dtix!oasys!cousins
- From: cousins@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Kathy Cousins)
- Newsgroups: alt.missing-kids
- Subject: Re: What Would You Do If...?
- Message-ID: <22856@oasys.dt.navy.mil>
- Date: 28 Jul 92 16:24:24 GMT
- References: <75hmajn.lindae@netcom.com>
- Reply-To: cousins@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Kathy Cousins)
- Organization: Carderock Division, NSWC, Bethesda, MD
- Lines: 84
-
- In alt.missing-kids, lindae@netcom.com writes:
- >
- >QUESTION: What are some things that you have done to protect your
- >child from potential abduction? How do you go about explaining all of
- >this to your child without scaring him or her? How has your child
- >reacted when you offer these safety tips?
- >
- >Come on, let's hear your comments....
- >
- >Linda
- >lindae@netcom.com
-
- Interesting question. I am looking forward to seeing other responses.
-
- My daughter (Christine) is now 13 and we have done a number of things
- over the years to prevent abduction. (Obviously you do different things
- at different ages but I don't remember exactly what age she was when
- each was started). Anyway, in no particular order, are things we did/
- talked about. Generally she was pretty receptive and not apprehensive.
- Many can be done as a game or "because you are so big now you can
- learn ________". I don't think kids need to learn everything in the
- context of preventing abduction and when you do discuss that you can
- frame it as giving the child information or skills that enable
- him/her to take some control over situations.
-
- learning her name and then phone number and address (actually the first
- phone number she learned was that of her day care provider rather than
- her father's number or mine but that was ok since (1) there was a
- greater chance someone would be home in the day care provider's family,
- (2) they had an answering machine years before I did and (3) their
- number is easier to remember)
-
- learning how to get from different places to home ("which way do we
- turn here?" "what is the name of THIS street" etc as a game)
-
- learning MY parents' full name and city (near to mine) and how to get
- to their house (just to give her, as she got older, more options)
-
- being confident using the telephone--answering it, making calls, calling
- information, later making a collect call home from the mall just to
- practice, and recently letting her have one of my telephone calling
- cards and having her use it when we are on vacation and had to call
- her dad. (I originally loaned it to her when she and her dad and a friend
- were going to spend several weeks last summer driving through a
- number of far away states. She really liked the idea that "if anything
- happens" it would be easy for her to call home.)
-
- having our "secret word" and playing "what if someone comes to school
- and says Mommy has been hurt and needs you" etc (we have all LONG since
- forgotten the word but in early elementary school it really gave her
- a sense of empowerment.) However, you MUST keep checking to see if
- everyone still remembers "the" word.
-
- talking about "what if Mommy gets lost at the mall/grocery store" etc
- (by the way, at about age 5 she was not satisfied with just the store
- personnel/security guard options; she wanted more choices so we agreed
- on another mom who is there with small children as a third choice--
- luckily we never had to try it out)
-
- in elementary school she was taught that a badge was not good
- enough, they had to read it to see that it really was a police badge
-
- if someone is following in a car as you walk down the street, wait
- until you can safely cross the street and then cross and run back
- the way you came (this also came from school, the idea being that
- the driver of the car would draw attention to him/herself by making
- a u-turn)
-
- discussing the idea that a stranger is someone YOU don't know even
- if they SAY that they know you
-
- not letting her wear t-shirts/sweatshirts/etc with her first name on
- them so that a stranger could call her by name and trick her into
- believing that she knows them (this was when she was pretty young)
-
- telling her that if someone should try to abduct her from a place
- where there is ANYONE around that she was to repeat VERY loudly and
- firmly "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER/FATHER" so that other adults who
- might be able to help, will help and won't think she was just a
- bratty kid being taken by a parent
-
- starting karate lessons (I have no idea if this will be good or not,
- she only had 2 lessons before she had to stop for a while because she
- has mono)
-