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From [e-mail]  Sun Mar  8 13:10:55 1992
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From: [e-mail] (Rich Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Sun, 8 Mar 92 13:10:44 EST
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #17
Status: OR

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Item 0:
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From: rsk (Your Tour Guide)
Subject: Miscellany

Membership on the mailing list has now passed the 400 mark.

The following folks seem to be missing in action; if anyone has working
addresses for them, that'd be great:

# brs = Bryan Stutzman = [e-mail]
# cthulu = Jeff Baker = starnet![e-mail]
# roka = Robert Okamura = [e-mail]
# aperkins = Andrew Perkins = [e-mail]
# bjl109 = Brent = [e-mail]

At the request of a number of subscribers, I've gotten a little less
ruthless when editing signatures; hopefully I've found a happy medium.

A new edition of the FAQ will be in your mailboxes shortly; thanks to
massive contributions from folks just like you (like me?), yes, like you.

I still haven't answered all the letters about the newsgroup business --
I haven't forgotten, I just haven't gotten to it.

I also haven't forgotten about the switch to digestified format -- in fact,
some of you probably got a few errant messages yesterday when one my tests
managed to squirt a few notes into the mailer before I caught and killed it.

I've also added "SOLN" and "Satellite of Love" to my mail-filtering program,
so any inbound message that has those strings on the "Subject" line, as well
as the ones I listed earlier, will wind up in the mst3k bitbucket, err, in-box.

Cheers,
---Rsk

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Item 1:
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From: Jim Pellmann <[e-mail]>
Date: Wed, 26 Feb 92 13:22:59 PST
Subject: MST3K article from SF Chronicle

Rich,

Here is an article from the SF Chronicle, which you may include in the SOL
newsletter.  He wrote another article previously about the show, and I thought
I had saved it, but now I can't find it.  Perhaps someone else in the SF Bay
Area has it?

Enjoy.

-- Jim



                           TOM SERVO EXPLAINS IT ALL
                                by Jon Carroll

                       from the San Francisco Chronicle
                               February 3, 1992

The most important thing to realize here is that I do have a Life.  Sometimes I
start talking about one of the things I talk about, and someone suddenly
shouts, "Jon, get a Life!"

But I have a Life. I have been to hardware stores; I have paid taxes; I have
chatted informally with family members.  What could be more Life-Like than
that?  I am definitely not one of those people you hear about who consume media
indiscriminately and develop passions virtually incomprehensible to normal
people.

That Bill Clinton/Joe Gibbs/Kevin Pursglove/Big Bird/Gloria Steinem/Jim
Mitchell/Mike Tyson endless bubbling brain stew you may have heard about: Not
me.

It was in the midst of this Life that the voice of Tom Servo appeared on my
answering machine.  Just an ordinary event in an ordinary day.  Maybe I
muttered "far out" under my breath, but I'm kind of trapped in a slang time war
anyway.

So: Tom Servo.  Tom Servo is a robot character on a cable television program
called "Mystery Science Theater 3000," or "MST3K."  Tom Servo, with his human
pal Joel and his robot pal Crow, watch very bad movies and comment on them;
that is the essence of "MST3K."

We the viewers get to watch the very bad movie and to listen to the comments;
it's as though we're behind these three zany friends in a movie theater.  The
comments are extremely fast and extremely funny and cover the entire cultural
landscape from Mummenschanz to "Mission Impossible" to modems.

It looks like a show put out by a lot people who should probably get a Life.

When first I mentioned "MST3K," I alleged that Tom Servo was a stupid robot.
This brought a flood of letters from fans who said that Tom Servo was actually
a sensitive robot, almost a Leo Buscaglia automaton.

"MST3K" has very loyal fans; it cherishes them and they return the favor.  Like
the Grateful Dead, "MST3K" has a policy of encouraging people who tape their
shows and circulate the tapes.  So there are people who know really quite a lot
about "MST3K"; people who might consider, at some point, getting Lives.

Kevin Murphy has a Life; his Life is writing for "MST3K" and playing Tom Servo
on the show.  Servo, says Murphy, is "a little left of center, kind of weepy,
but with a heart of gold.  I think there's some pain in there; I think we can
say Tom has known some pain."

But he's a 3-year-old robot.

"Not a lot of pain. I grant you that."

It takes six writers to produce "MST3K" (now in its fourth year and approaching
its 70th show); there are 700-800 jokes per episode.  It's a chuckle-intensive
operation.

The actual filming is "intimate.  We get to know each other quite well.  The
theater seats are just Styrofoam cutouts.  Joel sits on a bridge chair; I sit
on the floor holding the Tom Servo robot.  We actually sit in front of a white
wall staring at a little monitor on the floor.  We're there for a long time."

Murphy is bemused by the cult status of "MST3K."  One minute he was doing a
weird local show in Minneapolis; the next thing he knew he was at the center of
a nationwide hive mind.

"We really are in close contact with the fans. We know a lot about who they
are.  It's very inspiring," he said, sounding like your average New Age robot
in touch with his feelings.

"MST3K" is on Comedy Central, Cable Channel Something in your area, at 7 p.m.
Saturdays and at sundry other times.

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Item 2:
==========
From: Lazlo Nibble <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 23 Feb 92 12:23:29 MST
Subject: Re: Satellite of Love News #16 [Video Watchdog]

In SOLN 16, [e-mail] (Jason Snell) quotes from his article
in the February 6 UCSD Guardian:

>      Though the references are obscure, the writers don't spend all their
> time unearthing arcane facts to put in the next MST installment.
>      "I don't want you to think we're video watchdog people who worship
> obscure French sadomasochistic movies or anything," Hodgson says.

It's not "video watchdog people", it's "_Video Watchdog_ people".  _Video
Watchdog_ is a great little bimonthly published by Tim & Donna Lucas (Box
5283, Cincinnnati, OH 45205-0283).  Each issue is full of exhaustively-
researched articles on films both mainstream and obscure (the current
issue examines Soviet filmmaker Aleksandr Ptushko's career and also
dissects Oliver Stone's THE DOORS; issue 6 is an *amazing* exploration of
THE EXORCIST), and yes, they do seem to have a mild "thing" for obscure
European sadomasochistic horror films.  Names like Bava and Argento are
tossed around like popcorn -- not to mention Hark, Chan, Franco,
Carpenter, and (next issue, Vincent) Price.  Not too surprising that Joel
at least *reads* the thing; it's a great magazine for people who are
fascinated by film-as- medium but who don't really get off on
pseudointellectual pomp.

I guess this counts as another obscure MST3K-type reference. :-)

--
Lazlo ([e-mail])

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Item 3:
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From: [e-mail] (CHARLES JORDAN)
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 15:42:00 EST
Subject: mst3k: And we've never felt less like hearing you...

> THE MST3K DRINKING GAME
I would add a drink every time: Crow does an impression (of Lloyd Bridges,
Lee Van Cleef, etc); there's any type of dirty reference (it's just my
nature, I guess); and take a drink for every time they've repeated a joke.
In other words: the first time they say "he tried to kill me with a forklift"
you drink once, the 2nd time you drink twice, and so on.  Of course, by the
end of the game it'll be hard to remember the best quotes, but they run the
show twice a day so you can study the first one and drink during the second.
(At least, I'd imagine that's what it's for...)
    I can only propose rules to this game because none of my friends will
watch the shows with me -- they say it's funny, but it's too long and they
get bored.  What to do?  Does anyone else have the same problem, trying to
get MST buddies?  (You should never watch without a buddy.)

And to get people started on the show, Richard suggested these:
> [ My standard suggestion is "Catalina Caper", "Gamera", and "Pod People";
> anybody else? ---Rsk ]
I would say  "Catalina Caper," "Godzilla vs the Pod People," and "Fugitive
Alien."  (And maybe "Master Ninja" somewhere in there.)  You have to include
a monster movie, of course, and the others are just plain funny.

> Crow: 'Oh look, they're making a kotex commercial. Oh, I'm a robot I can't
> say kotex!'
> (Side Hackers-I think)
Great!  Another one to add to my dirty quote list!  It's still open.  Here's
some others I found:
[Catalina Caper]
    (Blonde "mormon guy" is kissing 3 girls lined up in a bizarre
     sort of contest.)
        SERVO: Uh, Joel -- how can we comment on this without getting into
           a lot of trouble?
    JOEL: I don't know.  We could use metaphor, I guess.

[Project Moonbase]
    (Briteis and the Colonel are watching the screen, where a rocket is
     moving slowly across the screen)
    JOEL: I guess now they have to watch marital aid films.

Keep those dirty innuendoes coming!  I'm crazy for 'em.

Also, the request came into identify some quotes.  I'll try the best I can:
> *-By this time my lungs were aching for air.
This should DEFINITELY be in the FAQ.  It's also asked frequently on that
scourge alt newsgroup.
This comes from the Lloyd Bridges TV series "Sea Hunt," in which he played a
diver.  Frequently the episode revolved around his having to save someone
underwater and he never seemed to carry enough oxygen.
> *-He asked me!  He asked me!
This could be just a common expression, but if you want a specific reference,
there's a Monty Python episode in which a man tries to get some unnecessary
plastic surgery:
    PATIENT: Oh please do the surgery.  Oh please.  Please.
    DOCTOR: Okay, I'll do it, but only if you go on a camping holiday
        with me.
    PATIENT (to camera):  He asked me!  He asked me!
    [scene of the two of them romping slow-motion through the woods.]
It's Monty Python.  You don't explain it.  It just IS.
> *-You die, Joe!
DAMMIT somebody explain this one to me!  I've asked and asked and get no
response!  Do I have to take this all the way up to the top and ask Best
Brains?
> *-Game over, man!
From "Aliens."  The Hudson character (Chet from Weird Science) keeps saying
"Game over, man" ad nauseum.
> *-I can't turn it off!  I don't know how it works!
From "The Jetsons," perhaps?  "Jane!  How do you stop this crazy thing?"
> *-Thank you, (Tommy Kirk/Eugene Castle/etc.) for making us laugh at
>    (love/winter/etc.) again.
I can't be more specific, but it's from an old 60's advertisement for
a movie or a TV show.  Thank you for making us laugh at love again.
> *-Wanna go to Lou's Place?  Ooo-hoo LOU!
The Mary Tyler Moore show.  The "Ooo-hoo LOU" is an impression of Ted Baxter,
talking to Lou Grant.
> *-Just KILL it!  Don't PLAY with it!
Again, I think this is just a common saying among cat owners; cats often
play with an animal before they kill it.  There's been a Far Side cartoon on
the subject.

I'm too cheap to pay 5 bucks for the MST information pack, but I am an official
MiSTie.  Is there more than one T-shirt offered by Best Brains?  The one
described in the order form said it was just a plain shirt with the planet
logo where the alligator would be.  I've heard reports of a shirt with a
really big logo on it?  If there's not more than one Best Brains shirt,
could somebody clue me as to who is putting out the other ones?

                -- Chuck

--
       Chuck Jordan     | "Everybody!  Monkey Love pile on me!"
[e-mail]|
            |    -- MST 3k, Catalina Caper


==========
Item 4:
==========
From: [e-mail] (Joshua Tsui)
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 14:23:17 CST
Subject: SOLN-Frank rules

Has the actor who plays Frank (Frank Conniff) been in anything else?  He's
got one of those faces that is instantly recognizable but leaves one
wondering from where exactly.

I personally think he is one of the best things about the show, a vast
improvement over Larry.  Lets start a Frank Fan Club, we'll just sit around
pushing buttons and getting our heads smashed in.

==========
Item 5:
==========
From: [e-mail] (James "Naka" Nakamura)
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 15:44:41 PST
Subject: MST3K - upcoming repeats?

Has anyone figured out when Star Force: Fugitive Alien II and War Of The
Colossal Beast (more importantly - Mr. B Natural) will be repeated? Also,
when is the fourth (or fifth depending on how you count) set to begin?

Also, is there a (gasp!!!) Fugitive Alien III?

[ This reminds me, for reasons that I cannot adequately explain,
of the review that "Rolling Stone" printed some years ago of
"The Archies' Greatest Hit".  It's probably the only record review that
I can quote in its entirety, so I'll do it here:

    "Lord, no.  Contained within the grooves of this record are
    twelve convincing arguments against the capitalist system."

I leave the applicability of this to the Fugitive Alien series as an
exercise to the reader. ---Rsk ]

    naka
    [e-mail]

"I love Ken and a guy named Ken and it hurts me so . . ."

==========
Item 6:
==========
From: [e-mail]
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 19:56:29 EST
Subject: Re: Satellite of Love News #16

        This past Friday's show is a red-letter episode-- it was the very
FIRST MST I'd ever seen. (For the record, the Then-Current Girlfriend and I
were up at my dad's for his birfday, and we awoke the next morning to Comedy
Central.) It was "Hellcats," of course, with some lines that still reduce me
to jelly. My fave came with a close-up of a beared biker playing a horn;
"It's King Richahd, inviting you to the Renaiisance festival! Huzzah!"

        And _this_ week, they're running the first MST I saw when my own
apartment first got cable TV-- "King Dinosaur."

Re the State of the Union Message on Comedy Central; Yeah, I truly wish
they'd at least chroma-keyed in Joel and the bots for at least a minute or
so. What they would've said is beyond me; I tend to be pretty up on things
politically, so any comments I'd make would be long on information and
probably short on humor.

        Oh, well.

==========
Item 7:
==========
From: John Scott Lewinski/John Burrows <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 15:22:05 PDT
Subject: Re: Satellite of Love News #16

MST 3k:

Thanks for letting me in your little club, guys.  This is my first
contribution to the MST3K E-Mail network.

[ Ah, but you didn't say the secret treehouse password! ---Rsk ]

I'm a graduate film student out here in Los Angeles attending Loyola
Marymount.  I'm from Milwaukee and that's where I fell in love MST3K.  I came
across it q uite be accident and it became something to look forward
to on the weekends (pathetic, isn't it?).  My sisters back home in
the midwest tape and send the episodes out to me becuae the crappy
Continental Cablevison out here in LA doesn't handle Comedy Central --
the dickweeds!  Oh, well.  The hip LA crowd would't ge t all the subtle
midwestern references anyway ...

I got a movie (in my opnion the worst ever made) for the bots to
experiemnt with -- "The Creeping Terror."  Good lord, it's bad.
There's no real dialogue, so it's the only narrative film I've ever
seen that's almost entirely narrated.

Also, let's run some commentary over Spielberg's HOOK.  For example, I
cracked a lot of people in the theatre when Peter sees his old
reflection in the pond, i.e. "AAUGH!  There's the rotting corpse of a
child in the water!"  Etc.  No?  Oh well...

Again, thanks for sending out the back issues and I look forward to
keeping up on MST3K.  (NOTE -- Whoever guesses where I got my E-Mail
alias gets a RAM-chip ...

MOVIE SIGN!

John Burrows

==========
Item 8:
==========
From: [e-mail]
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 92 10:29:59 PST
Subject: SOLN:  Best intro to MST3K

Well, personally, I think the prime introduction to MST3K would be the
triumvirate of "Robot Monster", "Project Moonbase", and "The Amazing Colossal
Man".  But what do I know?  :-)

Tim Lynch
"Upon further review, the referees have decided that Cody is dead.  The play
stands.  Cody is DEAD."

==========
Item 9:
==========
From: [e-mail]
Date: Wed, 26 Feb 1992 17:40:59 -0600 (CST)
Subject: MST3K

Here is the article I said I'd type in.  It comes from a magazine that is
geared towards video and audio post-production work.

               Mary Lynn (Todd's wife)

[ Reformatted to about 80 columns by Rsk. ]


**********************

From a magazine called POST; date June 1991.

OPEN HOUSE

EXACTING SCIENCE FICTION
Comedy TV's sci-fi laugher retro-rockets into the "future" via IVL Post.

by Jim Stokes

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In comedy, timing is everything.  Add consistency,
and good comics stay in business.  Such is the case with producing and
posting any successful comedy show.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 on HBO and Viacom's new Comedy TV network
is post produced by IVL Post in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  Original
footage is shot at Best Brains, Inc., in nearby Eden Prairie, MN.  The
melding of Best Brains' comedy with IVL's technical essence are a
winning combination.  The post house is in its second year with the now
three-season major cable net show.

"The quality controls are probably some of the most important aspects
of this show," says Daniel Gumnit, executive producer of post
production at IVL.  "Consistency is extremely important.  Lots of small
details add up in the grand scheme of things."

Best Brains originates and off-lines on Betacam SP, then brings an edit
decision list to IVL on paper.  A new EDL is sent back on disk to help
the producers remix the audio via an eight-track Otari tape deck
controlled by an Adams-Smith Zeta III.

The princials at Best Brains are comic Joel Hodgson and Jim Mallon with
Kevin Murphy and Trace Beaulieu.  The spacey comedy show has mad
scientist/character performances by Beaulieu and comic Frank Coniff.
Ken Frenell shoots.  Post production technical supervisor is Tim Scott,
who works with production manager Alex Carr.

The 24 episodes of the show in the course of a year are finally
prepared by Tim Paulson, IVL senior editor.  "He's got to have a sense
of humor, too," observes Gumnit.  "He's got to feel like he's part of
the creative team."

(There are two photos parsed in with the article on this page and they
are:

Photo of Joel Robinson on the bridge of the Satellite of Love flanked
on the left by Crow and on the right by Tom Servo.  The caption reads
:  "Space Camp:  MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER conjures the early days of TV
by running very bad movies which the keyed-in talent watches (in
silhouette) and criticizes."

Photo of interior IVL control room.  Caption reads:  "High tech for low
tech:  IVL's Paulson uses Ampex ADO, Zeus and Vista switcher to create
the retro look.")

In the show, Hodgson plays a maintenance worker at the futuristic
Gizmonics Institute.  Scientists jettison him into space where he must
watch some of the worst sci-fi or otherwise weird movies ever made.
But Hodgson has the company of two robot friends who cavort on a set a
la PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE, replete with movie countdown doors opening and
closing with numbers akin to SESAME STREET.

Sight gags abound such as a literal "smoking jacket" for the smoking
area in a restaurant and a robotic arm wrestling contest.

Most of us have either talked back to the screen or harbored that
secret wish.  That vicariousness is brought out as the trio, seated in
silhouette, kibitz the movie with creative one-liners.

During CAVE DWELLERS. sample barbs are "You can eat off this
floor"..."stately Wayne Manor"..."Their table manners need work"...and
"those moon boots went out with the 70's!"

According to Gumnit; HBO, which is in charge of distribution, supplies
IVL with 1-inch copies of incredibly bizarre and ridiculous films.  The
titles bespeak content:  the large fire spitting turtle GAMERA VS
ZIGRA, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, or FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS.

"There are no slasher movies," he adds.  "It's all family
entertainment.  The shows appeal to a wide audience.  Little kids like
them because they're silly movies.  But adults like them because
they're making sophisticated jokes about the Algonquin Hotel and
Gertude Stein.  In all, it's quite fun."

IVL makes a 1-inch movie master dub from the distributor's video to
later integrate with the Betacam SP shooting masters.  "If they're
black and white movies," he says, "we'll lightly color wash them
slightly blue, which helps the characters pop out against the black and
white footage."

Editor Paulson says the films are in pretty good shape most of time.
"However, I'll take up the black level quite a bit because the
charaters are silhouetted.  If you just set up the color bars and run
it normally, the characters would disappear in the dark areas.  The
graininess isn't a big concern since it's covered up somewhat with the
wash.  Actually, Hodgson's decision is to keep the show looking as low
tech as possible.  He wants it to look like the early days of
television (before sophisticated processing).

The Ampex Zeus 1 digital video processor is used to fix up jumpy video,
bad chroma and video levels.  "It has a very high tolerance for taking
garbage in and sending good video out," notes Gumnit.  "The Zeus is
essentially a D-2 digital processor.  But it records the information on
analog tape and outputs the video as standard NTSC as well as
outputting the video in digital form."

"It's very good," he says.  "We can go many, many generations without
loss of video quality.  It's really made a difference in the show.  HBO
is so happy with the quality of the 1-inch that they're not interested
in going with D-2 at this point."

"We provide Best Brains with the Betacam SP window burn of the film
they're looking at in a monitor," he notes.  "So, when they're shooting
the characters at their studio, they can do an inexpensive key inside
their switcher.  That way they can see themselves keyed against the
film."

The Betacam SP shooting masters, which consist of the silhouettes of
the characters against the Ultimatte blue backround, are combined with
the movie at IVL via Ampex AVC Vista 18 Switchers using chroma key.
"The Vista's keying ability is one of it's stongest points," says
Paulson.  "It's very clean.  The show is a composite using a number of
keys.  At times it's five levels deep in a single pass."  Characters
are keyed over the film at IVL so it looks as if they can reach up and
touch the screen.  In one gag, Hodgson got up from his seat to peek at
a book an actor was melodramatically reading on the screen.

"We composite the image of the actors on the live video," adds Gumnit,
"and assemble all the advertising bumpers, door opens and and closes,
and so on."  The Ampex ADO 2000 with Rotation/Perspective/Digimatte has
the role of creating strobe effects for the various host segments.
"The film always ends with a gorky-looking professor character punching
a button which makes the screen contract into a little dot similar to
an older style TV turning off to black." he adds.

Paulson says he sometimes used the ADO to compensate for the
characters' size against the fully projected movie.  "I'll have to
enlarge them a bit and move them around to position them exactly right
so they're in the correct spot (to comment on the action.)

"All that material goes back to Best Brains, where they spend several
days reworking the audio, dropping in new jokes for ones that didn't
work, and adding sound effects.  Then the whole thing comes back to our
shop for final audio layback."

It's vital that the jokes are right on cue with the screen on the final
master.  Speaking of timing, Gumnit says, "Small details add up like
making sure the regenerated timecode on the movie master is the proper
timecode starting at exactly the right place.  And that it's
consistantly in the right place throughout all 24 shows that come out
during a year.  Then there's the way audio is handled on the individual
channels of all the Betacam SP copies."

IVL's two online editing suites are primarily equipped with Ampex post
production equipment.  The bevy of Ampex gear includes ACE 200 Edit and
Micro Edit Controllers, AVC Vista 18 Switchers, Zeus 1 Digital Video
Processors, ADO 2000 with Rotation/Perspective/Digimatte, and VPR 6
Type C 1-inch VTRs. VTR formats also include Betacam SP, Sony BVH 2000
1-inch Type C, and Sony BVU 8000 3/4-inch machines.

Other posting tools include Abekas A42 Digital Stillstore and Chyron
Super Scribe with Logo and Compose, as well Chyron Scribe Junior, and
Ikegami ITC 770 CCD Color Camera on Motorized Bencher Stand.

Audio postings is via Sony PAR 5003V Stereo center-track timecode
decks.

"We feel that IVL Post has a very dynamic graphics and animation
department," says Gumnit.  "We create work for many national and
regional broadcast clients.  The animation and paint graphics are
created using Vertigo, Wavefront custom software running on Silicon
Graphics workstations."

Timewise, Gumnit estimates three to four hours per film preparing the
elements for MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000.  Best Brains may take two
days to shoot their elements plus two or three days for their offline.
At IVL, initial online video picture edit takes a day and a second day
for the audio and preparation of broadcast masters via a senior editor
Paulson.

He notes that IVL has been able to meet or exceed all of HBO's
expectations all the way down the line.  "We're glad to be able to
renew again with them for this year.  We're also talking to them about
broadcast production in the Target arena for live events."

IVL's integrated post and broadcast facility located in the new Target
Center arena, which is home to the Minnesota Timberwolves basketball
team, is totally unique in the country.  "We coordinate all the
broadcast in and out of the Target arena," he says, "whether it be ABC
or Prime Sports."  Their business is diverse and also includes high end
corporate/industrial videos, TV spots, and music/home videos.

==========
Item 10:
==========
From: Major Matt Mason <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 92 22:15:57 EST
Subject: MST3K March Listings...

Just got my monthly listing from Comedy Central today; here's the
March, 1992 MST3K lineup:

3/06, 10 am & 12:30 am:  First Spaceship on Venus

3/07, 10 am & 7 pm:  The Crawling Hand

3/13, 10 am & 12:30 am:  Godzilla Vs. Megalon

3/14, 10 am:  Jungle Goddess

3/14, 7 pm:  Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

3/20, 12:30 am only:  Godzilla Vs. the Sea Monster

3/21, 10 am & 7 pm:  Robot Monster

3/27, 10 am & 12:30 am:  Cave Dwellers

3/28, 10 am & 7 pm:  Stranded in Space

All times are Eastern & Pacific.

Major Matt "Toy boat!  Toy boat!" Mason

==========
Item 11:
==========
From: Lynn-Anne Friese <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 27 Feb 92 5:43:31 CST
Subject: Offer to copy MST3K tapes


I've noticed a lot of requests for past episodes of the show in the last
few newsletters and just wanted to repeat an offer I made a while back.
I have all of the (Comedy Channel/Comedy Central) episodes on tape, and
would be more than happy to make copies for anyone who wants them.  If
you're interested, contact me through e-mail and we can make the necessary
arrangements.

--
Lynn-Anne Friese
mixcom!ccwwcc%uunet.uu.net
[e-mail]

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Item 12:
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From: Ed Hughes <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 6 Mar 92 10:20:29 EST
Subject: MST3000:  The Sixties, Servo's handle

Here's "The Sixties,"  with as many of the subliminal
messages as I could decipher included.  I inserted
blanks for those that I couldn't get.  When Catalina
Caper is next shown, I'll audio tape it in stereo
(my VCR is mono), and hopefully Joel and the bots
will be on separate channels.

Also, I was watching the end of "The Corpse Vanishes" last
night, and noticed something interesting.  When the
guys return to the theater after the barbershop sketch,
you can see the broom handle that's used to operate Servo
sticking out of the bottom of him.  It sometimes disappears
due to the Shadowrama effect, but you can see it clearly
once or twice before Joel sets him down.

Or, as an alternate explanation, I offer this bastardization
of an old joke: "Is that a broom handle, or are you just
glad to be back in the theater?"  Gosh, maybe Servo *would*
have had a chance with the Creepy Girl!  :->

--Ed


"The Sixties"   (subliminal comments enclosed in {})
C: Joel, could you tell us about--this thing called "The Sixties?"
T: Yeah--I'm amused and fascinated by such an environment that
   the beautiful Creepy Girl existed in.
J: Well, I was just a little kid when it happened but I could tell
   you guys what I remember.
T: Okay.
C: Oh, yeah, you're so much older than you're younger than
   that now.
J: Yeah, whatever, Crow.  Anyway, Cambot, could you run that...music?
   [sixties-type music starts] Yeah, cool, okay...
T: [appreciatively] Heyyyyy!
J: Well, it was a lot simpler time back then, you know?  Like--
   I'll give you an example.  Like, it wasn't uncommon at all for your
   mom to come and serve you a great big char-broiled steak while she
   smoked and...
T,C: Wow!
J: ...drank a Tab and made up--your dad another Manhattan for the
   road, and that was just breakfast!
T: Oh, go on!
J: Yeah, there were seatbelts in cars {T: Sex!} but nobody used 'em...
   pre-sweetened cereal, subliminal messages {T: Drugs!}, people
   smoked openly on the Tonight Show! {T: Turn on!}
C: Hey, uh, tell us about the Rat Pack again!
J: Oh, okay.  Well, as {T: Drop out!} you know, uh {T: Tune in!},
   Frank Sinatra was Chairman of the Board {T:______________},
   and everyone else filed on in line--except for Jerry Lewis.
   He had had a falling-out with Dean Martin {T: Turn it on, _______}.
   And, uh--they already had chosen Joey Bishop to be their comic
   relief already, so he was kind of outta luck.  But Dean was tall
   and tan {T:_____________}{C: Yeah!} and quick with a song, and
   he just had say the word {T: Sex!}, and koo-koo chicks would file
   on up {C:____________} to the Hospitality Suite!  And massage
   Peter Lawford's neck and make everybody groovy drinks {T: Mustangs!}
   while they took important phone calls--from places like Palm Springs
   and, um--the White House!  Until-- {T: Turn me on, dead man!} it
   was time for Frank Sinatra, the Chairman of the Board, to come out
   of the suana, and he'd say the words, and the dollies would go
   {C: Free love!} take a nap!  {T: Subliminal messages!}
T: Oh--uh, tell us about the rabbits, Joel!
C: Yeah, that's a good one!
J: Oh, the rabbits, okay.  Meanwhile, in the Windy City, um--
   Hugh Hefner was cooking up his *own* groovy scene in the aptly
   named {T: Yeah!} Playboy Mansion!
C: [druggedly] Oh wowwww!
J: Okay, there was George Kennedy, and George Hamilton, and Tony Curtis,
   and Bill Bixby were all in his court!  Sophisticated men who knew
   their racket, and class B swingers all!
C: I think you're swingin' into high!
T: Yeah!
J: Yeah, anyway, there was, um--like, Twiggy, and Abby, and Peter, Paul,
   and Mary, Dion, Donovan, uh, uh--Melanie, uh, uh, Abraham, Martin, and
   John!
C: And so they just went by their first names like that?
J: Yeah, like you, Crow!
C: [appreciatively] Heyyyy!
J: And there were typewriters, but nobody used 'em.  And--women were
   called "girls!"
T: Wow!
J: And businessmen wore double-breasted suits, had double chins, drank
   double bourbons straight, no chaser!
T: Cool!
J: Before, during, and after {T:Peter Max!} important business meetings
   {C: Free love!} and, uh--summit talks! {T: I am the walrus!}  Everybody
   believed what the President said; why shouldn't they? {C: Sit-ins!}
   {T:__________}  Sexually provocative humor wasn't on TV; it was on
   cocktail napkins {C,T: Protests!} and we liked it that way!  Toys had--
   metal edges and little, uh--{C,T:________} pieces that were breakable,
   and would {C: Tie-dyed shirts!} fit into your mouth!  They would take
   and make {T: Bell-bottoms!}, uh, playground equipment out of stainless
   steel, then haul it up onto asphalt {C:_________} where you could get
   hurt!  Parents were actually told to *spank* their kids--why, my mom
   {T:_________} actually made me go and get the belt!  You know, in
   front of company--
T: Joel?  Joel?
J: --and that was really frustrating--
T: Joel?!  Joel!  Joel!  Joel!
J: --because once they made me take a bath in the front yard--
T: Joel!  Why can't you be like everyone else and just remember
   the *good* things about the sixties?
C: Yeah, like Woodstock!
J: Oh the Woodstock, great!  Okay.  No, Joel, *you* can't go to Woodstock,
   *you're* nine years old!  *We're* going to the opening of the new
   *Century* Store!  Oh, yeah, in Echo Lane!  Three days of peace, love,
   and *pizza rolls*!  We're gonna buy you a shopping cart for *your*
   birthday, Joel!
T: Uh--people, Joel's in a lot of pain.  We'll be right back.
J: Oh, boy--Peter Fromax moved freely among men!  They were--oh, did I
   mention there were drugs at that time?
C: Yeah.
T: And then--

--

Ed Hughes, SAS Institute  | "See no evil...well, maybe just a little...
Cary, NC                  |  yeah!"
                          | --Joel, "Women of the Prehistoric Planet,"
                          |          MST3000

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Item 13:
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From: [e-mail] (Jeff Meyer)
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 92 12:38:41 PST
Subject: MST3K: Attributions for frequent quotes

There are a number of frequent quotes I hear on MST3K whose origins I, too,
am curious about.  Several sound damn familiar, particularly

> -I WI-I-ILL KILL HI-I-IM!

I assume this is from DUNE (the movie), but there are several snippets of
SUPERMAN II (spoken by Terrance Stamp) that remind me of it.  Anyone know?

[From the way they say it, I think they're quoting the Stingmeister
from Dune: The Script We Decided to Whisper.  ---Rsk ]

I'm always impressed by the number of Firesign Theater quotes that show up
(in EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, Crow's script has the female lead being attacked
by mutant soup, and in her three pages of "EEEK!s", "OOOHS!s" and
"AIIIEEE!s", he tosses in a "Oh, PORDGIE!"

Oh, here are a few identified for your edification:

>*-By this time my lungs were aching for air.

The joke there is that Lloyd Bridges is in the film -- Bridges starred in
SEA HUNT, and underwater action TV series, for years.

>*-You die, Joe!

Any of a dozen B-movie war pictures where the Asian femme fatalle betrays
(or kills) her G.I. lover.

>*-Game over, man!

Hudson in ALIENS.

                           "You're wondering how we can dominate this, aren't
                            you, Mike?"
                                           -- Crow
---
                                        Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
INTERNET:     [e-mail]
Manual UUCP:  {uunet, uw-beaver, sun, microsoft}!fluke!moriarty
CREDO:        You gotta be Cruel to be Kind...
                 **>> Keep circulating the tapes <<**

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Item 14:
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From: [e-mail] (Ernest Hann)
Date: Sun, 23 Feb 92 21:17:16 EST
Subject: soln MST3K editor is not a dickweed re: SOLN MST3K soLn MsT3K, etc...

>To start off on a light note, the following is a list of what I think are
>the most often used lines in MST3K.  This is by no means a complete list:
>
>*-By this time my lungs were aching for air.
Sea Hunt
>*-Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that.
Joel and company first said this During episode one of Commando Cody
>*-Game over, man!
Aliens
>*-Wanna go to Lou's Place?  Ooo-hoo LOU!
Joel and friends made fun of Lou Place, some guy in the credits for
"Daddy-O"
>*-Mommy!  Mommy!  Don't look at me!  I said never look at me!
Blue Velvet

To RSK-
  I STILL think there is a basketball hoop on door number 5!  You say
  that it looks like a wire loop hanging down, not a basketball hoop.  If
  Joel can build robots outta stuff that controls "when the movies start
  and end", then why wouldn't he make a hoop outta some wire laying around
  the ship?  I think they could use this for a hilarious skit:

  Joel and Gypsy (shirts)
     vs.
  Tom and Crow (skins)

Gypsy eats the hoop or the ball; Crow wings a pass to Tom which takes off
his "head"... etc.

It would be nice if they did something with what Joel does for execise while
in outer space!

[ Hmmm.  I looked at it again, now I'm totally confused.  I really do
like the idea of an MST3K basketball scrimmage, though. ---Rsk ]

Bud Hann
([e-mail])

Your breath smells like mummy meat -Crow, "The Black Scorpion"