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From [e-mail]  Sun Feb 23 10:39:31 1992
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From: [e-mail] (Richard Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Sun, 23 Feb 92 10:39:21 EST
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #16
Status: OR

----------
From: rsk
Subject: Notes from your editor

Let's see, where should I start?

First, a reminder to the Gentle Reader to include "mst3k", "soln"
or "mystery science" or "mst 3000" (case irrelevant) on the subject
line of correspondence, so that my mail filter tosses your missives
in the right trashcan, er, folder.  For instance:

Subject: The SOLN editor is a dickweed
Subject: The existential nature of heckling [MST 3000]
Subject: 3001 - A Mystery Science Theater Odyssey

Second, thanks for all the continuing updates and corrections to the
FAQ list.  Some of the articles below include changes, which I've
edited in separately, and then (mostly) deleted, rather than reproducing
them here.  As per a suggestion from one of the readers, I'll probably
start mailing the FAQ out separately.

Third, I've been asked if that's really me on PBS's "Newton's Apple".  It is.
I was at Purdue for most of the 80's, working for the computing center
and doing EE grad work, and participated in the Rube Goldberg Machine
Contest for a number of years.  Newton's Apple seemed to find it particularly
appealing, and came down each year to film the machines in the contest.
So, if you see a Newton's Apple fragment with some guy standing around
in a blue bathrobe talking on the phone and juggling an egg, that's me.
There are also some other TV fragments out there: there's a short piece
from Late Night w/David Letterman from 1985 or so, featuring Tony Frissora,
the founder of our team; and there's a bit of the Tonight Show from 1986
with Robin Barnett, another one of the members.

Unfortunately, I have been unable (so far) to parley this media exposure
into a career as a rock and roll star, so I think you're stuck with me.

---Rsk

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Tue, 04 Feb 92 19:38:28 EST
Subject: Re: Satellite of Love News #14

        Good stuff this issue; here are my contributions.

        Came across a movie SO bad, that I could almost imagine Joel and the
'bots doing it up some time soon. Titled "Village of the Giants," and
starring Beau Bridges in his first role (alongside Tommy Kirk), this Bert I.
Gordon depicts a gaggle of teenagers who eat this miracle food that forces
them to grow to sixty feet high or so. Unabashedly erotic as well-- one of
the women is VERY impressive, and we even get treated to a couple of guys
hanging off of her bikini top-- the film truly deserves some well-planned
trashing.

[ It's also loaded with 60's cliches. ---Rsk ]

        Someone in a previous issue mentioned doing up "Terminator 2" with
comments, so I'll add the one I came up with. Over the opening shot of
burned-out cars and wreck freeways, the title "Los Angeles, 2029 AD appears.
My comment was,, "Hm, and I see Darryl Gates is still in charge."

----------
From: [e-mail] (Jason Snell)
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 92 19:05:00 PST
Subject: MST Article [From The UCSD Guardian newspaper, Feb. 6, 1992]

(C) 1992 The UCSD Guardian

By Jason Snell
Senior Staff Writer

     The first time you see it, up in the high end of the cable television
channels, you might think it's a kids show -- a grown man in a jumpsuit and
two cheap-looking robots seemingly made from household items, standing in
front of a set that looks something like a spaceship.
     But this show, Comedy Central's Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Fridays at
10 a.m., Saturdays at 1:30 a.m., 10 a.m. and 7 p.m.), is perhaps the smartest
and most inventive comedy show on television today. Tens of thousands of
people nationwide, ranging from schoolchildren to the middle-aged, are
members of the show's fan and information club.
     Mystery Science Theater 3000, or MST, has been praised as "ingenious and
often inspired television" by The New York Times, and as an "instant cult
classic" by The Wall Street Journal, was given rave reviews by TV Guide and
USA Today, and was most recently nominated for the ACE award for best
cable comedy series.
     The show's premise is silly and simple: A human (played by series creator
and co-executive producer Joel Hodgson) and two robots are forced to watch
some of the worst movies ever made. Sitting in theater chairs at the bottom of
the movie screen, the trio responds by making fun of the movie -- with side-
splitting comments and hilariously obscure references.
     "We shock a lot of people about just how bad movies can get," Hodgson
explains. "I mean, we're dealing in films that the general public would never,
ever watch or see."
     While the movies that appear on the show seem to be the worst anyone
has ever seen, the show's creators say that movies like "Godzilla vs. the Sea
Monster," the biker epic "Wild Rebels" and the recycled-from-TV "Master
Ninja" are actually among the best of the films they receive. In a package of
20 films sent to the MST team by Comedy Central, perhaps one or two films
are actually usable.
     "It's hard to keep people interested if the movie has absolutely nothing
going on in it, if it doesn't make sense," Hodgson says.
    MST first appeared in late 1988 at a small independent television station
in Minnesota. Series co-producer Jim Mallon approached Hodgson, a local
product who made a name for himself in comedy by making several
appearances on Saturday Night Live, to do a comedy show.
     "We just started doing it, and it was very successful," Hodgson says. "It
was incredibly low-budget, but people really responded to it, and we had [a
fan club] of over 1,000 back then. It really helped us feel like we had hid a
nerve."
     About a year later, cable TV's Comedy Channel (which later merged with
the HA! channel to form Comedy Central) approached Hodgson and Mallon
about producing the program for a national audience.
     "When we were approached to do it on cable, we were in a great position--
we had done 22 shows already, and knew how the thing worked," Hodgson
says.
     The production team at Hodgson and Mallon's company, Best Brains,
works almost year-round producing the show, which is now beginning its
fourth season. Each episode takes eight days to produce, and the staff takes a
week-long vacation after every five episodes.
    The writing process begins with the team of four staff writers and various
contributing writers sitting in a room, watching the movie and rattling off
humorous comments, which are entered into a word processor.
     "We go and rip on the movie-- just like you would in a home," Hodgson
says.
     "We spend the first writing day going through the movie and throwing out
lines," says writer Trace Beaulieu, who also plays both the robotic Crow and
evil scientist Clayton Forrester. "Everything works that day. Everything's
funny then."
     The next day, the writers work on between-movie sketches for Hodgson
and the robots, as well as the evil scientists.
     "Hopefully, we've generated ideas out of the film that we can use and
extrapolate into sketch ideas," Beaulieu says.
     The fictional premise for the show is that the scientists, played by
Beaulieu and writer Frank Conniff, have trapped Hodgson's character in
space, and force him to watch bad movies as part of an experiment.
     Sound ridiculous? Of course, and even the show's creators admit it: the
show's theme song reminds viewers to relax, because "it's just a show."
But calling it "just a show" sells MST short -- one-minute stretches of the
show can contain references that range from classical literature to modern
television and movie trivia. It seems unlikely that anyone alive can
understand all the references, and almost as unlikely that a small group of
writers in Eden Prairie, Minnesota could come up with them.
     "Each writer has their own expertise as far as obscure knowledge,"
Beaulieu says. "Frank Conniff has a vast knowledge of show business,
Kevin Murphy [the voice of robot Tom Servo] has an enormous brain with just
about everything else in the world. We all kind of watched too much
television."
   "We didn't design it this way," Hodgson explains. "When I had the idea, it
was not that we'd be real eclectic. It was only after we had done it many times
that we found that people would accept very eclectic references, and then we
started to enjoy that and have fun with it."
     Though the references are obscure, the writers don't spend all their time
unearthing arcane facts to put in the next MST installment.
     "I don't want you to think we're video watchdog people who worship
obscure French sadomasochistic movies or anything," Hodgson says. "It's just
that we use our memory and try to be inventive. We don't have a training
table of stuff we watch. It's just who we are."
    A large number of the letters the show's receives are from children, who
most likely won't understand very many of the show's obscure references.
    "I think [children] like the robots," Beaulieu says. "We get a lot of
drawings from little kids who really like to take the robots apart and draw
them, figure out what they're made of."
    "I remember, when I was a little kid, it always felt good to be around my
dad and to watch him make fun of stuff," Hodgson says. "And even though I
didn't understand what he was making fun of, it just felt good to be there, to
see it happen. Kids like the fact that we're making fun of the screen.
     "When I was a little kid, I used to think that God made TV," Hodgson
says. "Even though kids don't understand the references, they understand
that we're making fun of the people on the screen, and they like that."
    The show also seems to have struck a chord with people who have made a
habit of ridiculing the worst in television and movie entertainment.
    "It wasn't by design," Hodgson says. "I guess it just hit on this kind of
unconsciousness -- you can draw an analogy with what's going on on the
screen. By making a reference, you can complete a picture for the viewer, and
that's one of the strongest and probably the most inventive thing that we do."
    As a result, the show's fans are young and old, and every viewer seems to
appreciate a different aspect of the program.
    "There's no target audience," Hodgson says. "We just make the show, and
people find it. If we had a target audience, we'd be dead in the water."
    More than anything else, Hodgson and the rest of the MST team seem to
feel lucky that their show has become as popular as it had.
  "It was kind of a lucky shot," Hodgson says. "It's just about chemistry, and
working hard, and getting along with each other. I'd like to think that
because I designed the show, it works really great. But if people don't have a
good time doing it, then the audience can tell.
     "That's what's so bewildering," he says. "By rights, The Simpsons
shouldn't be that good. It's a cartoon. But it is. Who knows? I guess it would
sound stupid if I tried to figure it out."


--

Also, since it's not in the article, but I asked, I'll settle the answer:

Joel (not gonna find any higher source) told me that the first two seasons
were short, but season three and four are BOTH 24 episodes. So Master Ninja
II was the end of Season three.

-jason

----------
From: lunatix![e-mail]
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 92 22:04:19 EST
Subject: mst3k drinking game

THE MST3K DRINKING GAME

   (For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it's an old
Star Trek tradition)

1 Drink for every time:

Joel says, "(TV Show), In Colour."
There's an obvious special effect (ie you can see what it is)
The invention exchange is based on a bad pun (eg Tank Tops)
Joel says, "Next, on a very special (usually Trapper John, MD)"
They break into song.
Dr. Forrester calls Joel a silly name
They appear in costume.
Joel reaches up to the screen.
They make an obscure innuendo.
They make a joke about one of the characters' acting carreer.
A car jumps off a hill (or pier or whatever) and they all yell "flubberrrrrrrr!"
And, of course, every time Frank pushes the button.

That's all I can think of right now, feel free to add in others
as they come to you.

Kevin Luck     also at [e-mail]
"Byte Me, It's Fun!"

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Tue, 04 Feb 92 22:15:02 EST
Subject: Those Space 1999 Movies

Regarding the second of the Space 1999 movies, it just so happens I
have the book here. The title of the book is Space 1999: The Psychomorph.
It's split in two parts subtitled: "Star Spectre" and "Champions of Space".
The author is Michael Butterworth and the copyright states it is the
novelization with the original copyright held by ITC (both in 1977).
I have no idea if any of these titles were the ones actually used,
but if someone has a guide to British or American television, it might
be listed there. Happy hunting.

----------
From: [e-mail] (Patrick Fitzgerald)
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 92 7:47:33 CST
Subject: - URGENT!!! my mailserver is gone!

I have some bad news.  My system was nuked earlier this week.  I lost
my mailserver and all of those JPEG images that you mention in the FAQ.

However, I did upload them to a new FTP site.  Unfortunately, I don't
remember where it is, because I lost much of my mail. I'll try to find
out an let you know.

Thanks, and keep up the good work.
--
Patrick Fitzgerald
Intergraph Corporation
[e-mail]
uunet!ingr!b17d!fitz!pat

[ Reproduced here so that folks will not be surprised when the mailserver
doesn't answer! ---Rsk ]

----------
From: aminet![e-mail] (Keith Barrett)
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 92 08:24:46 EST
Subject: Addressing various SOLN items

[ FAQ corrections snarfed and edited in. ---Rsk ]

Also; since they now exist anyway. you may want to consider also posting the
newsletter and the FAQ in the new MST3k newsgroups. They appear to be VERY
active. If you do, I still feel you should mail them to people who subscribe.

[ I'm not going to post to the mst3k newsgroups; after monitoring them
for a few weeks, I've found them to have a very high noise-to-signal ratio,
and I've stopped reading them.  But more on that later. ---Rsk ]

UUCP: nuconvex.com!aminet!barrett
DDN: [e-mail]
Alternate: [e-mail]

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 92 18:58:56 CST
Subject: Adding descriptions to the list of shows!

Hi,
I just got raring to go when I first saw your list of shows and
the descriptions, so I decided to write up a few of my own.
I also added some descriptions to some that had already been on your list.

[ Snarfed for the FAQ. ---Rsk ]

Also, I too am interested in getting copies of Pre-Comedy Cent.  MST3K.
If anyone out there has any please email me.

Marty  <[e-mail]>

----------
From: [e-mail] (R'ykandar Korra'ti)
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 92 21:04:42 PDT
Subject: original theme?

[ Notes on original theme snarfed for FAQ. ---Rsk]

     BTW, I have now hidden a MST3K reference in an official Microsoft
Workgroup/Applications document. Anybody who looks up our standard
for logging results of tests (when testing software to find bugs)
will find, buried among the extensible keywords set:

     X-BESTQUOTE: "He tried to kill me with a forklift!"

     I also snuck in support for testing software under Intuition (AmigaDOS),
but that's for another list entirely.
                                Rather pleased with myself over all this,
                                                       - R'ykandar.

R'ykandar Korra'ti
[e-mail] - polari!lorbit![e-mail]

----------
From: [e-mail] (Kenneth Freeman)
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 92 01:18:09 PST
Subject: MST3K, Ken Thing, Forklift

Given my first name, I'd like to view #318, Star Force: Fugitive
Alien II and its prequel. I thought it would be a relief to no
longer be associated with that doll. Maybe not...

UUCP: {ucsd nosc}!crash!pnet01!kfree INET: [e-mail]

----------
From: [e-mail] (CHARLES JORDAN)
Date: Fri, 7 Feb 92 0:00:49 EST
Subject: Dirty Lines

For some reason, the comments on the "risque" lines in MST3k affected me
deeply.  I guess it's because dirty jokes are by far the easiest to make, but
Joel and the 'bots seem held back somewhat because MST is kind of a family
show.  I doubt that they have really strict censors, but they always seem
to stop themselves from getting out of line.  I'd like to compile a list of
the dirty jokes or would-be dirty jokes in MST3k.

There was 1 example posted before, in Gamera vs Guiron, about Gamera's
apparently being a Gentile.

Here are some I remember:
Catalina Caper:
    [all the guys are standing on the beach, looking at the Creepy Girl]
    Girl (to Tommy Kirk): So, are you coming, or what?
    Joel and the Bots:  Hmmm... (clear throats)

    [ There's also a scene where four women in bikinis are shown
    standing in line on the beach; Joel says "Look, they're standing
    four abreast!" ---Rsk ]

Ring of Terror:
    [Lewis B Moffett gets into the car with his girlfriend after their
    date.]
    LEWIS: So, you wanna tell me why you're sore?
    ALL: Hmmm... (clear throats)
Master Ninja II:
    [they all enter Crystal Bernard's apartment, and she's wearing a
    semi-tight T-Shirt and standing profile]
    SERVO: You've got a nice flat... er, apartment.
Daddy-O:
    [Dick Contino and the girl stand facing each other]
    CROW: Okay now -- whose breasts are bigger in this scene?
Mr B Natural was full of 'em but my favorite was:
    MR B (something like): The spirit of music is even inside you!
    CROW: Bad touch.

I guess that says something about me, if I actually want to endeavor to do
this, but if you would also like to take something warm and beautiful like
MST3000 and twist into something sick and awful, just E-Mail your examples
to [e-mail].  I'll also send anybody my complete list if you
want it; I won't waste too much of the SOL's space on it.

I guess I'm all messed up inside.

Chuck Jordan         | "Everybody!  Monkey Love pile on me!"
[e-mail] |         -- MST 3000, Catalina Caper

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Mon, 10 Feb 1992 17:31:14 -0600 (CST)
Subject: MST3K stuff

Hiya, hiya!

Hi there fellow Misties!

After having read through the last two newsletters, I have found a
number of things that I can respond to.  Firstly, I've been sending the
MST3K newsletters directly to Jann Johnson at Best Brains, although I
have been putting two or three issues together, running them off on my
copier and binding them using a GBC binder.  (You know, those
plastic-ribbed thingies?)  Anyway, makes for much neater reading and
keeps them in order.  This next set will include Issues 14 and 15 as
well as a really neat article that appeared in the June 1991 issue of
the Post which details how all the post-production on MST3K is handled
and what technology is used.  If I get a chance, I will try to type in
the text sometime.  Jann has asked how to get in on this network, but
to date they don't yet have access.  Until they can get hooked up,
we'll continue to keep them updated and I have volunteered to post
anything they'd like to send up.

I noticed that no one seems to know the Weinerman song.  Gee whiz, I know
that one, and what follows is what I've sung since grade school:

THE WEINERMAN SONG

I know a wienerman,
He owns a wiener stand.
He sells most anything
From hot dogs on down.
Some day I'll be his wife.
We'll eat wieners all our lives.
Hot Dog!  I love that wienerman!

I can't tell you where it came from or
if there's any more to it (I don't
think so...) but there it is.
Actually, I learned it as 'Wienie Man'
so I'm sure that, like any children's
song, there are regional differences.

Some other notes...

In the FAQ listing, some of the
information is somewhat inaccurate.

[ Corrections snarfed. ---Rsk ]

Finally, I'd like to request that if anyone could send me an SP copy of
the Crawling Eye episode, I'd sure appreciate it.  I'll pay for the tape
and shipping costs, no problem!

This entry to the newsletter has been written by Mary Lynn Johnson, Todd
Johnson's wife and uploaded from home.

Thanks for putting together a fine newsletter
so far!   -MLSJ

----------
From: [e-mail] (Denaha Doss)
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 92 11:32:50 CST
Subject: Favorite quotes

I just read all my back issues of SOLN and I LOVE IT!!!

Favorite quotes??? Too many to mention...BUT a few....
'It's Gamera get the Camera' (Gamera)

Kenny: Tibby, Tibby where are you?
Crow: Squish! (Gamera)

'She's zestfully dead' (Pod People)

Crow: 'Oh look, they're making a kotex commercial. Oh, I'm a robot I can't
say kotex!'
(Side Hackers-I think)

Yep, randy little Crow is my favorite bot (for the poll in an earlier letter),
and I like the NEW  Tom Servo better than the old one.

I posted a question in alt.tv.mst3k , but I'll also ask it here...The guys
often mention a clown  suit, as in 'No, Daddy, not the CLOWN SUIT!' What did
I miss? What does it mean?? Any  thoughts out there??

SOLN newbie...

----------
From: Ed Hughes <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 92 10:50:20 EST
Subject: Season 3 vs. Season 4

Rich--

I just got my info packet from the MST3K club yesterday, and
their episode guide lists 24 experiments in season 3.  This
agrees with Lynne-Anne's claim that we're at the end of season
3, not season 4.  By the way, Best Brains are a lot more casual
about all of this than we are, apparently.  The episode guide
from them is riddled with typos, like "War on the Colossal Beast,"
"Pop People," and "Death of a Ninja 1, 2."

By the way, as otheres have noted, the packet is still decidedly
cheesy, but the t-shirt is great!  For those who want to know,
the shirts are screened on Hanes pre-shrunk 100% cotton Beefy-T's.

I'm currently transcribing "The Sixties" from "Catalina Caper,"
and I got a lot more than I anticipated!  After Joel mentions
subliminal messages, Servo and Crow start muttering subliminal
messages under Joel's monologue.  It's very hard to hear exactly
what they're saying, but so far I've heard "Sex," "Drugs,"
"Turn me on, dead man," and so on.  I'll keep trying.
--

Ed Hughes, SAS Institute  | "See no evil...well, maybe just a little...
Cary, NC                  |  yeah!"
                          | --Joel, "Women of the Prehistoric Planet,"
                          |          MST3000

----------
From: gatech!chinet.chi.il.us![e-mail] (Mark E. Sunderlin)
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 92 10:10:34 EST
Subject: what is the best introduction?

As I said elsewhere, I want to get MST3K on VHS tape.  When I do, I want to
make up an special, "Intro to MST3K" tape for a friend of mine who does not
get Comedy Central.  What three episodes would be the best to put on a tape
as the definitive introduction to MST3K?

[ My standard suggestion is "Catalina Caper", "Gamera", and "Pod People";
anybody else? ---Rsk ]

My cable channel carries Comedy Central, but my VCR will not record cables
channel 48, it only goes to cable channel 39.  I'd like to get in touch
with someone willing to "Keep Circulating the Tapes".

Here is my offer: I'd send you $5.00 per tape.  You'd buy a VHS tapes, dub
episodes, and mail the tapes to me.  I'd perfer nice 2nd generation EP, no
3rd, 4th, or n+1th tapes please!

Please get in touch with me via email at [e-mail].
--
Mark E. Sunderlin: Technocrat in Winchester, Virginia  KD4HRI
 aka Dr. Megabyte: [e-mail]  [phone]

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 92 22:57:05 EST
Subject: lines, SERVO, and quips.

To start off on a light note, the following is a list of what I think are
the most often used lines in MST3K.  This is by no means a complete list:

*-By this time my lungs were aching for air.
*-Water, the source of all life!
 -A planet where apes evolved from men?/ You did it!  You finally did it!
   Damn you all to Hell!!
 -Richard Basehart!  Oooh!
 -I WI-I-ILL KILL HI-I-IM!
 -I'm BATMAN!
 -I don't Think sooo.  (When followed by 'Be all that you can be?, New Tokyo?,
   OverPass?, Up Up and Away?, E I E...', etc.)
 -I had Jell-O today.
 -Puma?  Puma?!
 -Do you want to go Faster? (yea!) Raise your hand if you want to go Faster!
*-I'm going to kill you!  Why?  Because you're going to die!
 -Don't smoke.  Please don't smoke.  I'm dead now.  Please don't smoke.
 -Oil Can!  Oil Can!
 -I know a weinerman.  He owns a hotdog stand. He sells me everything from
   weiners on down.
 -SuperCaaaaar!   SuperCaaaaar!
 -Zack Norman is Sammy in Chief Zabu.
*-He asked me!  He asked me!
 -Mm-hmm!  That's good stuff!  Mm-hmm!
*-It hurts!  It really hurts!
 -Hurts, don't it?  Tell your friends.
*-Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that.
*-You die, Joe!
 -You're not my real father!
*-It was faaaaabuloooous!
*-All over the world!  Ooo!
*-Game over, man!
*-I can't turn it off!  I don't know how it works!
 -Aaaugh!  Don't DO that!
 -It's the Sunday Mystery Movie!  Oooeeeooo!  OooEEEooo!
 -Hellooo.  Hellooo.  HELLOOO!     Hello.
*-This is the grandest of all!
 -Wah, wah, wah, wah, waAaAaAaAaAaAa!
*-Thank you, (Tommy Kirk/Eugene Castle/etc.) for making us laugh at
   (love/winter/etc.) again.
*-Wanna go to Lou's Place?  Ooo-hoo LOU!
*-Just KILL it!  Don't PLAY with it!
 -Oh, stop the world, I want to get off!
 -Hellooooooooo, Baaaaaaaaby!
 -'This bug you? 'This bug you?  I'm not touching you!
 -Have a little FIRE, scarecrow!
 -SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUP!
 -Dibs!  I got dibs!  I said it first!
 -Bird, LIVES, man!
 -Chili peppers burn my gut!
*-I'm the god!  I'M the GOD!
*-Mommy!  Mommy!  Don't look at me!  I said never look at me!
 -Bite me.

Concerning the phrases with *'s, can someone tell me to what movie, etc.
they are referring?  To paraphrase CROW, "It's funny and all, but WHAT THE
HECK DOES IT MEAN??"

And now a little movie trivia.  In THE PHANTOM CREEPS 1, did any horror
classics fans recognize the music from THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN?  Just
before the first commercial, check out Servo's little dance!  I recently
got to see EDWARD SCISSORHANDS for the first time.  Being a fan of sound-
tracks, I sat through the end credits.  I happened to catch the following:

   Lighting Director:   Kevin Murphy

Now I know there are countless people with this name and I wouldn't have
brought it up if he weren't also in charge of lighting on MST3K.  Can anyone
confirm this?

Speaking of Servo and soundtracks, Tom is also becoming my favorite Bot.
Shuford Dobson:
>What is fast becoming my favorite moment on mst3k is something Tom Servo
>seems to say at least once in most of the movies they show: "Huh... Neat."
>His delivery is perfect.  Sends me rolling on the floor every time.

I enjoy this bit as well as his "Mmm-hmm".  Usually said when a scene is too
stupid for words.  But what I enjoy most of all are his jokes about movie
music. Examples:

DaddyO: "Oh, no!  Not John Williams!  Before he heard Stravinsky!"
   (Was that THE John Williams?)

War/Colossal Beast:   "Music! Composed and Conducted! By Albert Glasser!"

Fugitive Alien I:  "KOYA-A-ANISQQATSI-I-I!  KOYA- No.  Oh, never mind."
   (This left me on the floor!)

Cave Dwellers: Music by Danny Elfman -- AGAIN!!
   (Actually, CAMBOT told this joke.  Still funny, tho.)

And now to get ugly.  In SOL #15 we read:

> Could we ease up on the "Here's my pathetic attempt to be MST3K, aren't I
> so witty" postings. They usually aren't funny, and they really have more to
> do with the poster than with the show...

Seeing as how I'm a ringleader and repeat offender in this particular game,
I felt oblidged to respond.  Granted the postings aren't always as funny
as the real thing.  However, I'm sure MST is effecting most viewers in such
a way that it prompts such 'witticism', (and I'll lose the term loosely for
the sake of this arguement).  Most of these people really enjoy sharing
their work with others who have fallen victim to the MST syndrome.  I
personally look forward to such postings.  Patrick Fitzgerald and I
enjoyed trading quips from STAR TREK VI.  And CHARLES JORDAN's merciless
treatment of THE LAST CRUSADE had me rolling.  Does it surprise anyone that
I just happened to be listening to that same score when I read this???

In the past I have tried to keep a good balance in my postings.  While many
do have quips at the end, I also provide information, transcripts, and
other MST ramblings.  Many writers give some sort of fair warning to the
quips, so no one is forcing you to read.  If worse comes to worst, we can
always put it to a vote.  Hey, RSK!  Isn't being an editor FUN???

[ Waaaaaaaah! ---Rsk ]

And now, for those of you who dislike the MST-style postings and attempts at
humor,. . . BETTER SKIP TO THE NEXT ITEM!  HA HA HA HA HA!

From TRON:
(The scene: Flynn and Lori are kissing their good-byes before he leaps into
 the MCP.)
SERVO: Now, wait a minute!  Since when are programs designed to do THIS?
CROW:  He's user-friendly.  Eh-heh-heh!
JOEL:  Oh, I get it. This is what happens when two programs Merge.
CROW:  (As Flynn) I wonder what would happen if I stick my tongue even
        further down her thro- *BZZT!* *CRACKLE!*

(The scene:  Light cycle race room.  When a program grabs a handle bar, he is
immediately LUNGED forward into a seated, cycling position.)
JOEL:  *CRACK! CRACK!*  My SPI-I-INE!

An old standby, but it works.  I'd like to see MST take on this movie as well
as STAR TREK V.  Both are Sci-Fi and both are CHEESY!  Hmm.  CROW and SERVO
in a light cycle simulation, Michael J. Nelson as SARK in the hexfield
viewer,...  Well, I can DREAM, can't I?

Later, The Quack

"Burn the file on the electric dance belt.  And pick up my manhood, it's
 under the chair."      -Crow, THE PHANTOM CREEPS 1, MST3K

----------
From: [e-mail] (James Hall)
Date: Sun, 16 Feb 92 14:09:33 -0800
Subject: State of Kirok Undressed?

I've just finished going through all the backissues of the SOL newsletter.
To think I had to visit Alaska for a year to find out about one of my new
favorite shows!  (TCI Cablevision of Oregon wouldn't know Comedy Central if
it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsichord singing "Comedy
Central is here again.")

On the issue of whether the writers are Trekkers: on a number of shows Crow
has belted out, "I am Kirok!"  Clearly a reference to the Star Trek episode
in which Kirk loses his memory and marries a native American on a paridise
planet.  Now, if only Joel or the Bots could say an occasional "Oh boy!" or
"Ziggy isn't too clear on that," I could die happy. :-)

WHen George Bush gave his State of the Union address, Comedy Central did a
show called "State of thte Union Undressed," in which Al Franken and someone
else did running commentary of Bush's speech.  They did a pretty colorless job,
I thought.  What if the MST writers had tackled that instead?  Since advance
copies of the speech were available, I'm sure Joel and the gang could have
been prepared with some choice stuff.  Oh well!

-rj

----------
From: Ator <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 18 Feb 92 18:30 EST
Subject: An Article in "Entertainment Weekly"

This was a short article in the newest edition of "Entertainment Weekly"


"A 'Mystery' Made for Mail Order"

So you thought "The Simpsons" knew a thing or two about merchandising.
Check this out: Comedy Central's cult sensation, "Mystery Science
Theater 3000" (a Saturday-morning showcase for the worst B movies in
history) is offering a catalog of what may be the cheesiest gift items
ever devised. Along wiht the usual assortment of T-shirts and bumper
stickers, the show's fans--or Misties, as they perfer to call
themselves--can send for an MST3K wall clock (with photocopied
pictures of series characters pasted on the hands), a "Fluid
Containment Vessel" (a mug autographed by series star Joel Hodgson
and his two robot sidekicks, the bubbleheaded Tom Servo and the
bird-beaked Crow), and a video, "Play MST for Me: The Music of Mystery
Science Theater 3000", featuring clips of the show's best musical
numbers. One of the hottest-selling items has been the Demon Dog, a
plastic puppy skeleton used as a prop in one of the series' first
episodes (all 20 sold out at $27.50 each.) But Hodgson recently came
up with a product that may do even better: "We found a bunch of those
clear plastic bubbles they use for gum machines," he says, "so we're
thinking about putting an MST3K sticker on them and marketing them as
Tom Servo heads." We'll take a dozen.

----------
From: [e-mail]
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 92 11:44:01 CST
Subject: finding the crawling eye experiment

The subject line says it all (almost). I am looking for a copy of the
Crawling Eye episode that was the first of the Comedy Central episodes.
Is it true that they have not shown that in at least a year and a half?

Also, the best line not in Lost Continent:

      When the Americans first find the two natives in the village and
the woman and boy( I think) start talking, Crow should have said,
"Who taught you to talk, Western Union?"  They sounded to me and a couple
of friends like they were speaking in telegram style.  Or was this just our
imagination?

Thanks in advance,
Marty Hoff