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21.PNE
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Wrap
Text File
|
1987-04-22
|
3KB
|
136 lines
ARE YOU AN ENGLAND PLAYER??
******************************
QUESTIONAIRE
************
1. You are faced with an open goal,
which area do you aim for?.
B
|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|
A | C | A
*************************************
2.The ball bobbles on the line,do
you:
A: Swing your leg, chest, hair or
any other part of your body at the
ball and shout ggggoooooooaaaalllll!?
B: Although seemingly impossible, you
whack it into the 27th row of block Q
C: Simply side-foot it into the empty
net.
*************************************
3. A cross comes over. Do you:
A: Fling your whole body at the ball
and hope it hits you and goes in.
B: Shrug your shoulders and say "oops
sorry lads i didn't see it"
C: Time your run perfectly and head
or volley the ball home perfectly
*************************************
4. Which is the odd one out?
A: A football
B: A football boot
C: A bottle of newky
*************************************
5. With only the goalie to beat, do
you:
A: Take the keeper wide, in fact so
wide that you crash into the corner
flag and flatten the linesman.
B: Panic, get the ball stuck between
your legs and then throw yourself to
the floor screaming "penalty"
C: Gracefully round the keeper and
steer the ball into the empty net.
*************************************
6. You have a penalty, do you?
A: Don't know, they never let me take
them.
B: Go to whack it, change your mind
and then side foot it into the
advertising hoardings.
C: Rip the back of the net off.
*************************************
7. Which nets are you most likely to
see at a football ground?.
A: Fish net stockings.
B: Hair nets
C: Goal nets
*************************************
8. The ball is punted upfeild by the
keeper, do you :
A: Jump, land, then wait for the ball
to arrive and wave frantically as it
whizzes by.
B: Throw yourself in the general
direction of the ball and hope it
hit's you.
C: Rise like a salmon and
majestically glance a header to a
fellow forward.
*************************************
9. Half-Time comes and you are one-
nil down, do you:
A: Have a fag.
B: Come over all weak and tell the
boss you think you've pulled
something so you don't have to go out
for the second half.
C: Make sure you go out and bag a
couple.
*************************************
Well, that's it. How do you think
you did. Well here goes.
MOSTLY A's : Although you probably
don't get many games, you are almost
surely an england regular on the
sub's bench.
MOSTLY B's : You're an England player
through and through, you couldn't
score in a brothel, are you sure your
name isn't John Barnes?.
MOSTLY C's : You are definately Chris
Waddle. You could score a hat-trick
against AC Milan, Juventus, Rangers,
Barcelona, Marseille and Bayern
Munich in succesion, yet still have
no chance of Graham Taylor picking
you.
Hope you enjoyed that......Keefy.