High Voltage Shareware/high1.zip/high1/DIR46/ALPHON_2.ZIP/MARRIAGE.M08

Text File | 1992-10-29 | 18KB | 335 lines

Study No. 8                     TO THE GLORY OF GOD
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                           THE HUSBAND IS HIGH PRIEST

        1 Peter 2:9 (King James)
          "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation,
          a peculiar people;  that ye should show forth the praises of Him who
          has called you out of darkness into His marvellous light."

        New Testament fathers are high priests in their homes.   Just like the
        priests  of the Old Testament times,  they have two definite  priestly
        functions:
          1.  Bring God to the family.
          2.  Bring the family to God.
        FIRST, IN BRINGING GOD TO THE FAMILY:

        Ephesians 6:4
          "Fathers  provoke not your children to anger;  but bring them up  in
          the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

        The earthly father gives the children the first impression of what the
        heavenly Father is like.  Children quickly try to copy their father.

        Fathers  are also responsible to God and their family to  lead  family
        devotions.   If you feel that the Lord is suggesting something else --
        drop  the  carefully  prepared syllabus and read what  He  tells  you.
        Always keep the balance between dull plodding through endless chapters
        "because  we shouldn't leave anything out," and the haphazard  jumping
        from story to story so that David and Paul and the ark and the Red Sea
        all become jumbled and unrelated.

        DISCUSSION.

        Here's  where  you need plenty of time!   Start off by  commenting  on
        something  in  the reading that grabs you.   Find out if  your  family
        understood what was read.  Now things get exciting because you will be
        asked  questions,  tough ones.   Learn to trust God for the answers to
        questions that matter.  Believe God that as you talk among yourselves,
        you are being anointed to build up your family.

        Let the conversation drift,  carefully but deliberately.   Problems at
        school,  quarrels  between  brothers and sisters,  some  new  item  --
        everything  is  worthy of discussion.   Look,  if you don't tell  your
        children what God's answers to these aspects of real life are,  nobody
        else will.   Nobody else knows you and your family well enough to deal
        with  the  small,  day-by-day things.   Don't talk too  long  just  to
        impress your family.   Your kids know when you're being phoney.   They
        live with you,  remember?!  And don't cut it short so that you can get
        back to the T.V.

        PRAYER.

        Everybody prays.   Out loud!   If necessary,  teach them how.  Not the
        endless, "Bless Daddy, Mommy, Freddie, Grandma and Grandad and Rover!"
        Leave vain repetition to the heathen.   Pray about things that matter.
        Prayers by children like,  "Lord,  don't let Johnnie be scared at  the
        dentist  tomorrow  and please make the cut on my finger  better",  are
        prayers  a child can pray from the heart.   And the Lord  will  answer
        them.

        Keep  your  own prayers simple.   Pray for your wife and  children  by
        name.   Teach  the family to expect the gifts of the Spirit to  occur.
        Ask  if  someone has a word from the Lord.   Don't let the  fact  that
        you're  sitting  around  the  kitchen table  put  you  off.   Tongues,
        interpretation,  prophecy,  words  of knowledge and wisdom,  gifts  of
        healing and faith start right here.   Pray for coughs and colds.   Get
        up and lay hands on your wife or children as you pray.  Don't ever let
        embarrassment  hold you back.   Embarrassment is the fear  of  looking
        silly -- and that is PRIDE.
        FAMILY DEVOTIONS ARE GOD'S METHOD OF BRINGING UP KIDS.

        Deuteronomy 6:6-7
           "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your
           hearts;  and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall
           talk  of  them when you sit in your house and when you walk by  the
           way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

        As  you  sit  around the table you are  laying  three  foundations  --
        mechanical, moral and spiritual:

        1. MECHANICAL:  Knowing how to use a Bible and concordance,  to have a
           fair idea of where most of the books of the Bible are,  and to know
           the broad sequence of Adam,  Abraham,  Moses,  David, Daniel, Jesus
           and the Apostles.

        2. MORAL:   How to live and behave, despite the opposition from school
           and friends.

        3. SPIRITUAL:    What  being  born  again  means;  demonstration  that
           Christianity is a personal, two-way contact with God.

        PS.  Include your wife.  Pray and share God's Word with her daily.  Be
        her spiritual leader, too.

        BRINGING THE FAMILY TO GOD.

        The husband and/or father should be praying diligently for each member
        of his household daily.

        The  husband and/or father is responsible for the choice of church his
        family  attends.   No wife should be attending some church other  than
        the  one  her husband attends.   His role is not only  to  choose  the
        church,  but  to choose it BECAUSE it will provide the best  Christian
        teaching  for his family and give them the greatest opportunity to  be
        raised up in the full truth of the Lord.

        The  father  is  to tuck the children in at night.   This is  not  the
        mother's  role.   She should do it if the husband has to be away  from
        home,  but when he is home -- he must tuck them in.   Children emulate
        their father.   If Dad stays in another room watching TV,  etc.  while
        Mum prays with the kids,  the thought in the child or children's minds
        will be,  "It's all right,  I'll let Mummy pray for me now, but when I
        get older, I'm going to be just like Daddy!"

        Children go through enough garbage in a day to ruin their minds for  a
        lifetime.   But the High Priest can lay hands on his child just before
        he  or  she  goes to sleep and prayerfully wash away the  unclean  and
        hurtful thoughts lodged in their brains.  This is no light suggestion,
        but a real admonition.  DO IT!!!


                           THE HUSBAND IS TO BE THE PROVIDER.

        1 Timothy 5:8
           "But  if anyone does not provide for his own,  and  especially  for
           those of his household,  he has denied the faith, and is worse than
           an unbeliever."

        Many  a modern husband believes that a wife's place is in the home and
        he expects her to go there immediately after work!   But God says that
        the  husband  is responsible for the financial security of  the  home.
        Careful consideration needs to be given to determine if a wife  should
        work  outside  of  the home.   NEVER should she work outside  and  let
        others take her responsibilities with the children.

        HUSBANDS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR:   Attitudes,  discipline, feelings about
        home, feelings about people, final decisions -- all of them.  GOD WILL
        HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICES.   You can't do it right if  you
        don't  take the time necessary to get God's leading,  study His  Word,
        pray and think everything through.

        BEWARE OF BEING A WORKAHOLIC!...Courtesy National Enquirer.

        "California  management consultant Christopher Hegarty has designed  a
        simple  test  to see if you are working too long and letting your  job
        become your burden (therefore, automatically, neglecting your family).
        Just answer these questions "yes" or "no".

        1. Do  you regularly take office work home with you at night  or  over
           the weekend?
        2. Are  you  reluctant to go on vacation for fear that things  at  the
           office will go to "pot"?
        3. Do  you  take phone calls even when trying to complete a  difficult
           job or to relax on a coffee break?
        4. Do you ask others to put in the same hours as you?
        5. Do  you avoid delegating work because you feel you're the only  one
           who can do it right?
        6. Is  your  desk so piled with paperwork that often  you  can't  find
           things?
        7. Are you an obsessive memo writer?

        (If you answered "yes" to more  than one question you may very well be
        a compulsive worker.")

        When the husband neglects the family and doesn't lead,  the wife often
        feels she has just two alternatives:

        1. Fall apart.
        2. Take over and become the "man" in the family.

        It is then the sin of the husband not being God's man that causes  the
        wife to sin also.

        The Bible recognizes that women can be very successful in business:

         ...Lydia,  who sold special cloth,  was wealthy enough to own her own
            home.  She was a single career woman. (Acts 16:14)
         ...Priscilla  worked at an outside occupation.   She and her  husband
            were tentmakers.  (Acts 18:2,3)
         ...The  "perfect  wife"  (Proverbs  31) was gifted  in  real  estate,
            farming and clothes design.

        BUT, DID THE "PERFECT WIFE" EXIST??!!!

        The "perfect wife" in Proverbs 31 was employed and had children.

        Proverbs 31:16
           "She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a
           vineyard."

           (NOTICE:  She made her own money and controlled it.)

        Proverbs 31:24
           "She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the
           tradesmen."

           (NOTICE:  She was involved in several business, each producing a
           large sum of money.)

        But  there is an old saying -- "Nobody's perfect!"  Probably that  was
        true about this wife,  too!   NOTICE:   In verse 10, King Lemuel asks,
        "An  excellent wife,  who can find...!!!"  Probably no  one!!!   Close
        observation  of  this chapter shows that his mother taught him to  say
        these things:

        Proverbs 31:1
           "The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him."

        Not only did Mum teach her son to say the things in this chapter,  but
        in this description of "the perfect wife" the poor wife never slept!

        Proverbs 31:15
           "She  rises  while  it  is still  night,  and  gives  food  to  her
           household, and portions to her maids."

        Proverbs 31:18
           "She  senses  that her gain is good;  her light does not go out  at
           night."

        If such a wife existed,  how long could she really last without  dying
        from exhaustion???!!!

        QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN CONSIDERING WHETHER THE WIFE SHOULD WORK OUTSIDE
        THE HOME.

        1.  ARE YOU, AS THE HUSBAND, "THE PROVIDER" FOR YOUR WIFE?
            1 Timothy 5:8
            "But  if anyone does not provide for his own,  and especially  for
            those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than
            an unbeliever."

            Is  your  wife going to end up taking over your role and  usurping
            your  assignment from the Lord?   If so,  you'll be out  of  God's
            will.

        2.  THE HUSBAND NEEDS TO HONESTLY ANSWER THE QUESTION:   "AM I THE ONE
            URGING MY WIFE TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?"
            1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:23,  among other verses, tell you that
            you   are  to "treat your  wife as  the weaker vessel" and be "the
            saviour of your wife's body."  Certainly no "saviour" would  force
            his wife to overwork.

            I  believe you are reading this manual because you want God's real
            answers  for your marriage.   But you must see to it that  she  is
            able  to  live out God's real answers for her,  too.   She  should
            work only by choice -- not because you've thoughtlessly driven her
            to it.

        3.  DOES THE WIFE REALLY WANT TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?
            The  biggest question to ask if the answer to this is "yes" is  --
            "WHY?"   Is it to fulfill a basic need in her or is it to  escape?
            Margaret  Hardisty makes  a powerful case for women who want to do
            outside work in her book,  "Forever My Love."  Read it.   It isn't
            always  wrong  if she does work outside the home,  but it's  wrong
            if it's done to satisfy guilt over "simply being a housewife."  Be
            sure  your wife reads Chapter 2 of this manual on  "The  Christian
            Wife" before she makes this decision.

        4.  HOW MUCH ENERGY DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE?
            Is  she a "ball of fire" at midnight,  or "pooped out" by the time
            you get home from work?   Worn out wives are hardly ever much  fun
            to  be around and they sure can't be everything God designed  them
            you're going to end up a very unhappy, unfulfilled husband.

        5.  HOW IS YOUR WIFE AT ALLOCATING HER TIME?
            Does  she have everything totally arranged in a time slot so  that
            her  work never stacks up?   Because a wife who finds that she has
            too  much  work to do is almost always going to let  you  know  --
            LOUDLY!!!   She'll  either yell at you or she'll yell at things in
            general.   A woman with too much work left to do at the end of the
            day is a frustrated wife.   Her frustrations will soon become your
            frustrations,too.

        6.  WHAT'S YOUR HONEST ATTITUDE ABOUT YOU DOING HOUSEWORK?

            Are  you ready to cook the meals,  make the beds,  do the  dishes,
            etc.?  ;  Do you feel you have an equal responsibility to do those
            things and all other kinds of housework?   Because if she has,  in
            your opinion,  an equal responsibility to work outside the home as
            you  do,  then  it only stands to reason that you  have  an  equal
            responsibility to work inside the home as she does.

        7.  GOD  GAVE  YOU CHILDREN TO RAISE.   WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO  SAY  TO
            JESUS IF YOU AND YOUR WIFE DON'T RAISE THEM?
            The  Bible  promises there will come a moment when you,  saved  or
            lost,  are going to face Jesus.   I guarantee that at that  moment
            He's  not going to ask you,  "How was business?"!   But you can be
            certain that He will ask you, "How well did you raise the children
            I gave you?"  You'd better have a good answer!

        8.  WHO WILL YOUR CHILDREN VISIT IF A PARENT ISN'T HOME WHEN THEY  GET
            HOME FROM SCHOOL?
            Children, including teenagers, who need the security of someone to
            talk  with  after school often look elsewhere when parents  aren't
            home -- and that may be where you wouldn't want them to look.  Who
            is talking with your children and influencing them if Mum and  Dad
            are both away?  Be sure you know the full answer to that question.

        9.  HOW MUCH STRESS CAN YOUR WIFE STAND?
            Instead  of  the  wife enjoying those cute little things  kids  do
            because they're kids,  she yells and screams and slaps since she's
            too tired and frustrated to appreciate them or you.

        10. WILL TEMPTATION BE TOO MUCH FOR HER?
            Temptation is too much for many,  many women who have gone out  to
            join  the  work  force.   Adultery and divorce are  rampant  among
            employed wives.   After all,  she generally has to dress well  for
            the  job  and men at work are sometimes more appreciative of  that
            than a  husband is.   Also,  if she spends more time with the boss
            at  work  than she does with the husband at home  she  may  become
            closer to him than to her mate.  It happens far too often.

        11. CAN  YOU  FINANCIALLY  AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WIFE WORK  OUTSIDE  THE
            HOME??!!
            Many husbands are startled to find that they cannot afford to have
            their wife work outside their home.

            In  a U.S.  News and World Report Magazine article dated July  11,
            1977, entitled, "News You Can Use In Your Personal Planning", they
            wrote:   "It  can  come as a jolt to find how much less  than  her
            salary  is  the couple's actual gain in dollars  and  cents.   The
            second   income  pushes  their  combined  earnings   into   higher
            percentage brackets for federal income-tax purposes.   So a bigger
            tax bite comes out of her pay,  which,  in effect, comes on top of
            her husband's salary.  BEWARE!!!"
            (Also, the cost of childcare, clothes for work, transport etc)

        Go over the 11 questions just listed.  Even if she could make a bit of
        money,  is  it worth is when all of these things are  considered?   Be
        honest with God and yourself in answering this question.

                               END of STUDY EIGHT