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Study No. 9 TO THE GLORY OF GOD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHO SHOULD HANDLE THE CHEQUEBOOK?
A recent survey by a New York City advertising agency shows that in
two-thirds of the households studied, the wife makes out the cheques
and pays the bills regardless of whether she works outside the home.
Many women do a good job at it. Of course, so do many men.
The one who should handle the chequebook is the mate who can do it
best. Four things seem to be most necessary in being "good" at this
particular job: ability, motivation, discipline and time. Newspaper
writer Sylvia Auerbach calls it "money sense". She adds, "Does this
mean that the other partner, be it husband or wife, should just shuck
off responsibility or, worse yet, never be kept informed? Absolutely
not! Each partner in a good marriage should know what's going on in
general, although perhaps not on a day-to-day basis. And all major
decisions -- insurance, investments, major expenditures -- should be
made together."
TWO MONEY TIPS FOR HUSBANDS
If a wife does have emotional difficulties handling the chequebook
then the husband should definitely do that job.
Always give your wife an adequate amount of money to carry in her
purse so that she can buy small items without asking. Just as a man
enjoys being able to buy a pack of gum or a new hammer when he sees
what he wants, so a wife needs that feeling of freedom and well-being
too. No less than $10.00 a week should be hers with no questions
asked about how she spends it.
A FINAL WORD ON THE SUBJECT OF WORKING WIVES
All wives work. They work hard whether or not they ever take on
an outside job. They should never be forced into outside labour
unless that's their desire, too. A lot can fulfill a wife's ambitions
besides employment. Church work, art work, taking an elective course
at a college, etc. can bring both applause and sometimes extra money.
HOW TO KEEP YOUR WIFE FROM EXHAUSTION
1. Do the dishes for your wife or share with her in doing them,
especially when she's tired. It is "scriptural" for a man to do
dishes!:
2 Kings 21:13 (KJV)
"And I will stretch over Jerusalem the line of Samaria, and the
plummet of the house of Ahab: and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man
wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down."
THERE IS NO RECORD OF A HUSBAND BEING SHOT BY HIS WIFE WHILE HE
WAS WASHING THE DISHES!!!
(Or buy your wife fine china so that she won't trust you to do the
dishes!!!)
2. If needed bring in hired help one day a week. They can do
whatever your wife doesn't like to do -- ironing, washing floors
and windows, etc. If you don't feel you can afford such help
right now, then be her he-man and bless her by doing some of these
things yourself. Ask the United States Marines if such work is
"unmanly!!!" Don't approach these tasks as a martyr or with a
hangdog expression. Don't complain to anyone about doing such
things or make jokes about it to company. It is true that some
wives especially those not working away from home, may resent too
much intrusion by you into what she feels is her contribution of
work for you and the family. (NOTICE: Wives, it is also true
that your husband may be working a strenuous or time-consuming job
that leaves him with little energy or time for such work in the
home. Be understanding if this is the case.)
3. One day a week, let your wife sleep in. Choose a weekday, not a
Saturday or Sunday. Don't let the kids or any noise disturb her.
Take the phone off the hook. Have breakfast with the kids, but
again, keep things quiet. This should be quiet fun. Make sure
every dish is washed and put away in the right place, along with
all the food, before you leave for work. Nothing will exhaust a
wife faster than walking into a room full of dirty dishes or
finding things have been put away in the wrong places. Few things
pay greater dividends than a rested wife.
4. Never let your wife feel afraid without protection. If she is
afraid at night and you have to be away -- buy a big dog or move!
Make sure she always feels safe and never laugh at her
insecurities.
5. Never let her feel afraid of you verbally. Don't make her nervous
about what you'll say to her or about her to others. Some
husbands make the sad mistake of thinking they are "funny" by
saying up some thing they think was "dumb" that their wife did and
then telling their friends. Such husbands destroy the emotions of
their wives and their marriage. Matthew 1:19 shows that one of
the marks of a "righteous" husband is that he never wants to
disgrace his wife. Other husbands (and sometimes the same ones)
roar like a lion whenever their wives come to them with a problem.
Re-read the material written earlier in this chapter on
communication. Love your wife verbally, too.
6. Never let her feel afraid of you physically. Never hit your wife.
1 Peter 3:7 is very clear that your wife is the "weaker vessel".
(Patience will have to be exhibited in your sex-life together.
She should never feel she has been "raped.")
7. Never let her be attacked verbally or physically by the children
or anyone else. When the children sass Mum, they should receive
your immediate spanking or punishment. Of course, it goes without
saying that the same would be true if they hit her. Never let
bill collectors bother her. If you should be in the unfortunate
situation of being sought after by a bill collector, make it clear
to your wife where you will be or what time you will be home.
Deal with the collector or any such person yourself and protect
your wife from such involvement. (I never let my wife set my
meetings or take information for me regarding them over the phone.
She might receive incorrect information and make a mistake
herself. I protect her from my anger that would undoubtedly rise
over such a predicament by not having her take the information in
the first place.)
8. Avoid negative nicknames or phrases used to describe her. Never
refer to your wife as "the old lady", "the jailer", "the warden",
"the ball and chain", etc. Such titles hurt. You begin to see
her in the light you use to describe her. As with anyone else,
avoid negative name calling.
9. Never leave your wife stranded. When you're at a social gathering
or church, never leave her alone while you're off being charming
with someone else. This can set up terrible insecurities in her
(or cause her to find someone else who will be charming!).
10. Never let your wife come under attacks from satan. Pray for her
healing. Don't allow sin in her life (study God's Word with her
and it will iron out the wrinkles - Ephesians 5:25-27).
LEARN TO MOVE IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
2 Corinthians 10:3-4
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the
flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but
divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses."
THE WEAPONS OF OUR WARFARE:
HIS NAME HIS BLOOD HIS WORD THE HOLY SPIRIT
Rom. 10:8-13 Ex. 12:7&13 Jn. 8:30-32 Jn. 20:19-22
Phil. 2:9-11 Is. 53:4-5 Jn. 15:7 Acts 1:4-5,8
Acts 3:16 Matt. 8:16-17 Matt. 24:35 Acts 2:38-39
Acts 4:10-12 1 Pet. 2:24 Luke 7:7-9 Acts 8:14-17
Jn. 14:12-14 Heb. 10:8-14 Eph. 6:17 Acts 19:1-6
1 Jn. 1:5-7 Luke 5:17
Rom. 15:17-19
Mark 16:17-18
"F I N A N C E I N T H E H O M E"
Psalm 1:1-3
"How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the
wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the
scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law
he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by
streams of water which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf
does not wither, and in whatever he does he prospers."
Proverbs 15:6
"Much wealth is in the righteous, but trouble is in the income of
the wicked."
Luke 6:38
"Give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down,
shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For
whatever measure you deal out to others it will be dealt to you in
return."
Romans 10:12
"For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same
Lord is Lord of all abounding in riches for all who call upon Him."
The area of finances seems like such a "carnal" area and yet it
certainly is one of the major problems that can come between a man and
a woman who are seeking to serve God together. Jesus placed a high
priority on the right use of money in His teaching, considering the
fact that two-thirds of all His parables deal with the subject of the
right use of money.
FINANCIAL PROBLEMS THAT CAN DESTROY.
When we make the accumulation of wealth our ambition in life (Luke
12:16-21). eg. "I will pull down my barns and build bigger."
with our family.
1. Fathers try to hold two jobs, "moonlight" in the evenings, or work
extensive overtime depriving their families of any quality time.
2. Mothers are under pressure to go out of the home to get a job to
supply additional income to fulfill desires.
1 Timothy 6:6, "godliness with contentment is great gain". God does
want us to accumulate riches, but not material riches. ask yourself -
am I accumulating things because:
* Others have influenced or pressured me to do it?
* I envy the lifestyle of those around me?
* I enjoy the sheer challenge of it?
* It makes me feel bigger in the eyes of others?
* I fear the future?
* All of these wrong reasons
God wants us to place our confidence in Him and learn to be content
with what we have. Hebrews 13:5, "Let your conversation be without
covetousness and be content with such things as ye have."
WHAT YOU DON'T OWE WON'T HURT YOU!!!
Proverbs 24:27
"(Put first things first) Prepare your work outside, and get it
ready for yourself in the field, and afterward build your house and
establish a home."
The above verse is telling you to be certain you have enough money to
pay your bills BEFORE you start making your purchases. Rob Chase is
his excellent 'Marriage and Family Manual' writes regarding short-term
purchases: "Short term debt is not to exceed 10% of your monthly
take-home pay times 18. With a monthly net income of $750.00 the debt
limit would be $75.00 X 18 = $1,350.00. This figure would not include
a mortgage on your home. The experts all say that you are headed for
trouble if your short-term monthly debt payments exceed 20% of your
take-home pay. Thus, with a take-home pay of $750.00, you are in real
financial trouble if your monthly payments or debts exceed $150.00,
excluding home mortgage."
PLAN AHEAD.
Proverbs 21:20 (LB)
"The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends
whatever he gets."
You and your mate need to talk over your real goals. Five years from
now:
... Where do you want to be?
... What do your want to have?
... What do your want to have accomplished (or be in the midst of
accomplishing with your money? With yourself? With the Lord?
... How badly do you really want these individual goals fulfilled?
TIPS ON STAYING OUT OF DEBT.
A. Realize God is the Lord your finance and possessions.
1. He owns them Deut.10:14, "Behold heaven and earth are the
Lord's the earth and all that is there in."
2. He holds you accountable for them 1 Cor.4:12, "We are ministers
of Christ and Stewards of the mysteries of God. It is required
of a steward that He be found faithful."
Rom.14:12, "Everyone should give account of Himself to God."
3. He is your provider Deut.8:17,18 - Eccl.5:19, "The Lord gives
the power to get wealth."
B. Adopts God's value system in your finances.
1. Be sure you are putting God first through tithes and offering.
Mal.3:10; Prov.3:9-10.
2. Be sure your priority is on spiritual, permanent and eternal
things 2 Cor.4:18, "Don't look on things which are seen",
temporal, look on spiritual, eternal.
C. Believe God to supply what you need.
1. Through diligent labour. Prov.10:4-6; 13:11; 12:14. "The hand
of the diligent maketh rich."
2. Through answered prayer. Phil.4:6; Heb.11:6; James 4:2.
a. Careful for nothing.
b. Prayerful for everything.
c. Thankful for anything.
D. Develop sales resistance.
1. Professional sales people are competing for your money. They
will use every emotional and flesh-appealing technique
possible.
2. To avoid impulsive spending, ask these questions:
a. Do we really need it? (Be honest now!)
b. Is some other item more pressing than this one?
c. Is the price reasonable?
d. Is this the best time to buy?
e. Have I checked and researched the item?
f. Do I know the retailers reputation?
g. Are you sure no other item can be substituted?
h. Does the retailer offer any "after the sale" services?
3. To avoid impulsive grocery shopping (for wives):
a. Use an itemized list from home;
b. Use coupons;
c. Shop alone (leave dad and kids at home);
d. Last week of the month are the best buys;
e. Don't shop when tired or hungry;
f. Don't touch unless you want to buy;
g. Don't wait to run out before you buy - use sale prices.
E. Carefully discern between needs and non-essentials 1 Tim.6:6-11,
"Flee these things, follow after righteousness, Godliness, Faith,
Love, Patience."
1. In the world today this is becoming harder to define all the
time. If you are in a financial pinch, be hard on yourself.
2. The wants should be prayed about, maybe God wants someone to
give you the desires of your heart.
3. Impulsive buying is the giant killer of the budget. Stay away
from places that will tempt you. Know what you can afford and
what you need. Everything else is out of bounds.
F. Make sure you discover your failures in the past.
1. Have I followed the Scriptural patterns?
2. Do I have a way to control impulse buying?
3. Is God trying to speak to me?
4. Is God testing my faith?
5. Am I setting my affection on the wrong things?
FURTHER HELPFUL TIPS.
1. Limit credit payments to 20% of your take-home pay.
2. When buying a car, consider the monthly payments plus insurance,
maintenance, and operating expenses.
3. Decide what your spending limits are and stick to them.
4. Beware of overdraft accounts where the bank automatically deposits
$100.00 to your account (extends credit) when you write a cheque
with insufficient funds. It takes an iron of will to resist
spending that extra money.
5. Don't buy everyday items - groceries, petrol, etc. on credit.
6. Avoid borrowing money for vacations. The same is true for
Christmas buying.
7. Start a savings account. Some experts feel the minimum savings
account should be equal to 90 days take home pay.
8. Set up a simple budget and stick to it.
SOME RULES FOR SPENDING.
1. Buy "quality" rather than "quantity". Be sure that what you buy is
not going to quickly wear out and will please you for a long, long
time.
2. As often as possible, buy items that will appreciate in value, not
depreciate.
3. Take the kinds of vacations that will create wonderful memories you
and your family will treasure forever.
4. Make the determination for the use of excess funds a family
project.
a. Establish family goals for purchases over the year.
b. Openly evaluate purchases with other members of the family on
the basis of needs, wants and desires. (1 Tim.6:8; Luke 3:11; 1
John 2:15-16).
c. Pray together about every major purchase, submitting to the will
of God.
THE RULE FOR BUYING LARGE ITEMS.
The economic rule for buying a home or a car (or any really expensive
item) is: always make a big enough downpayment so that you could
always sell it for at least the amount you have left to pay. That way,
all the you could ever lose is the item itself. Never owe more on any
large investment than you can sell it for right now.
NEVER BORROW FROM ANYONE (AND ESPECIALLY NOT FROM YOUR PARENTS)
Ephesians 5:31
"For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall
cleave to his wife: and the two shall become one flesh."
"Maturity" means "standing on your own two feet following Jesus". So,
never borrow money from your parents. Remember, "the borrower becomes
the lender's slave." Don't fall in debt to your parents as a married
person. You will find that if you do, the debt will obligate you to
"slaveship", as well as financially. Parents often feel that they can
dictate their will to their married children if the children owe them
money. A married couple who has borrowed money from either set of
parents may feel they can't respond to God's full call on their lives
or fully do what they feel they should do because their parents
disagree.
LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS. YOU CAN'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE
THEM ALL YOURSELF!!!
A PRACTICAL BUDGET.
Someone has said, "Keeping a budget is usually an orderly way of
discovering that you can live on what you're making!"
The following budget is a flexible one that can be adjusted for your
personal needs;
1. In dealing with the original 100% of the gross income, first take
off 10% for the tithe to God.
Proverbs 3:9-10
"Honour the Lord from your wealth, and from the first of all your
produce so your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats
will overflow with new wine."
(King James version calls this kind of giving the "first fruits")
2. Next, out of the full 90% left, lay aside what you'll be paying
for all taxes (federal, state, social security, etc.), and all
insurance policies, pension payments, etc.
3. With the remaining amount (giving us a new 100%)
- 40% is for everything related to your home (from house payments
to fertilizer).
- 18% is for transportation (including car, gasoline, oil, tires
etc.)
- 12% is for food.
- 10% is for clothing.
- 5% is for medical (doctor, dentist, vitamins etc.)
- 5% is for entertainment (including recreation, vacation etc.)
- 10% is left for savings and/or personal use in giving to the
Lord (to increase your finances!), or for adding to any of the
already mentioned categories or making a new one as needed.
A budget is really important not only to answer the big question,
"Where does all our money go?" But to also make sure it goes to the
right places. But, you don't have an answer without God; no one does!
END of STUDY NINE
