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Date: Sat, 30 Oct 1999 16:25:03 EDT
From: Bastion007@aol.com
Subject: Re: [MV] Bio-Dome etc.
Shore sucks. His movies are nothing more then trite, cookie-cutter films with
horrible plots, acting, and jokes. Those movies tried my patience when I was
in 7th grade, and how anyone with an ounce of intelligence could enjoy them
is beyond me. I would even consider these movies to be good if they were
funny, but they are not. They are a constant barrage of pop culture crap. And
in each new movie Shore tires to look as stupid and homosexual as possible.
Finally, Shore cannot act at all. His whole "thing" is his annoying voice,
with inappropriate pauses in his nonsensical speech. He's an idiot, plain and
simple, who cannot act whatsoever.
~Matt
<<>Don't knock Paulie Shore.He was good in Encino Man,Son In-Law,and In The
>Army
>Now,but I did hear that any
>others such as Bio-Dome was quite bad.---Dave
I thought Bio-Dome was funny actually ;) But I did see it when I was in 6th
grade, so things could have changed. :)>>
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Date: Sat, 30 Oct 1999 16:51:28 -0400 (EDT)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL - Fright Club
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HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL û Fright Club
by Mark Ramsey
<a href="http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/house.htm">Click here for the full review!</a>
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/house.htm
October 30, 1999
House on Haunted Hill is scary and frightening all right.
Scary bad and a frightening waste of talent. That is, in case the LA Coroner determines there's any talent to be found here.
Why couldn't these be the filmmakers who disappeared in the Blair woods? This flick would have been way better had it been played completely for laughs or at least on ice-skates.
I'm looking forward to the DVD and the special Director's audio apology track: "I'm sorry about this scene...And this one...Oh, this one too."
Eek! It's Oscar-winner Geoffrey Rush doing James Woods doing Vincent Price in a role originally set for Tom Hanks until Tom realized it just fuckin' sucked. The main chill in House on Haunted Hill is the one in Geoffrey's career of late. Here's a fella who won an Oscar playing a guy who's nuts, and now he's proving life imitates art.
Famke Janssen, the Judi Dench of B-movies, splices "fuck" into her dialogue the way a scientist inserts genes into DNA. "That's Enter-fucking-tainment," sez Famke, who's one part Frumpke and two parts Funke.
Buy into this movie, and the ticket counter chick hands you a scratch-off game card. Trust me, it's your only chance to come out a winner here. I love a movie that dispenses with all quality pretense and skips straight to a bribe! That's what Saving Private Ryan needed: game-cards! "Pizza Hut presents, 'Kick the Krauts at Omaha Beach and Win!'"
What's that noise? It's the sound of a cold wind whipping through the empty and abandoned heads of our nubile female costars! They're interchangeable sweet-young-California casting couch tomatoes! Say, this old dark house is on swanky Melrose Place!
Thanks to the correspondence courses from the "Camp Crystal Lake School of Acting" and the good fortune only a panty-free audition can guarantee, these perky noses can smell fear from miles away! These fake boobies are divining rods for terror! So perfect are their complexions, a tiny cut becomes a cute, widdow-tiny cuttsie wuttsie.
Shudder as these haunted haus fraus tremble, just like they did before the Laker Girl cuts. Shriek as these boo-babes wave flashlights at each other to sustain their tans through the long night.
House on Haunted Hill is a remake of a campy old Vincent Price flick which is one of my personal video favorites. When the original was on the big screen, silly, spooky skeletons drifted over the audience's heads. Thinking quickly, the producers of this new version tied Lara Flynn Boyle and Courtney Cox to a clothesline and yanked them across the theater in a horrifying display of dangling bones.
Here's the creepy premise of House on Haunted Hill: Several strangers are brought together for a party and promised $1 million each if they make it through the night alive. Will anyone survive the night and emerge millions of dollars richer? Not if they're sitting in the audience, that's for sure. And if they do earn their millions, will they spend it on acting lessons?
Who invited these strangers to this haunted house, anyway? Well, it turns out the house did. You see, there's a lot of energy in this house, and energy goes through the phone, and the phone is hooked to the Internet, and...oh, forget it. All I can say is that if my house invites strangers over, I hope their last names are Jolie and Ryder.
Hey, AOL, can I use Parental Controls to limit the time my house spends online? I'm concerned it's downloading illegal pictures of pre-teen condos.
The house, you see, used to be the home of a Psychiatric Institute for the Criminally Insane, where Matthew McConaughey was once caught naked playing bungholes.
Naturally, the great evil in this movie is the CGI-monster - powered by Hell itself, along with Silicon Graphics, Dominos Pizza, and plenty of pre-IPO stock options. CGI condenses into a thick black cloud of computer-game smoke which devours every living thing in its path, and Peter Gallagher too.
Comic relief is provided by SNL regular Chris Kattan, who busts out of Lorne Michaels prison long enough to prove Red Buttons actually does have an equal, and flicks don't have to be SNL-inspired to stink up a theater.
The lovely invitations printed up by the house promise "terror, humiliation, perhaps even murder."
Close.
House on Haunted Hill is a terrible humiliation, perhaps worthy of murder.
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
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BUY ôTHE BLAIR WITCH PROJECTö ON VHS/DVD FROM THE MOVIEJUICE.COM STORE
Everybody else is selling it, why not me?
<a href="http://www.bmvs.com/sites/mramsey1/videos/qsearch.asp?startat=0&keywords=blair+witch&by=title">Buy The Blair Witch Project Here!</a>
Visit http://www.bmvs.com/sites/mramsey1/videos/qsearch.asp?startat=0&keywords=blair+witch&by=title for all the details.
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DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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Date: Sat, 30 Oct 1999 20:38:22 -0700
From: gillianmasters@juno.com
Subject: [MV] 90s Movie Quiz - Question
About a year ago someone posted a quiz. It was 100 film quotes from the
90s. I still have the quotes and I was wondering if anyone out there
might have the answers? I was planning on using it for an employee
contest. But I need the correct answers.
If anyone has the answers that can e-mail me at gillianmasters@juno.com
personally instead of sending them to the list.
Also if anyone has any kind of movie trivia contests I would love them.
I manage a movie theatre and am trying to find ways to have fun contest
for my employees and patrons.
Thanks! - Gillian
Just trying to navigate life's highway without crashing.