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buffyfic-digest        Thursday, August 6 1998        Volume 02 : Number 290



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 6/?
       BUFFYFIC: Chronicles #22
       BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 10/?
       BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 8/?

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 4 Aug 1998 22:41:45 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 6/?

TITLE: What Just Happened?
AUTHOR: Azziel Savament
E-MAIL:  [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  Yes, please.
RATING: PG-14 just to be safe.
CONTENT: Angst, Confusion, the usual.
SPOILERS: The story is set after season two happened
SUMMARY: This is a Angel/Buffy what-if story.  It starts off the morning after
her suprise party.  What happens when Buffy wake's up to find out that all
that happened from the time of her birthday to the time she sent angel to hell
was just a dream, or was it??????
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these, they belong to an evil man named Joss
Whedon.
NOTE: I have no idea what on earth that I am doing, all I know is that the
fanfic must go on!

Part 6: You got to be Kidding!

Location:  Factory

The Judge is pacing the room, now at full power.  Spike is at the table
writing some kind of ransom note.  Drusilla and another vampire are toying
with Xander by waving a glass of water in his face.

"Is the slayers' little friend getting thirsty!?"  Said the new vampire.

"No, I don't need anything from you demons."  Xander hadn't had anything to
drink in over a day.  He was about to give in to them, just to get a sip, so,
he turn his head away as they waved the glass.

"Then you will never except anything from your dear Buffy again."  Dru just
stood there silently as she mused on the thought of how the slayers' heart was
going to be engulfed in darkness.

"What are you talking about?  Buffy isn't a demon."  Xander was becoming a
little frantic since he thought Buffy should have come to save him by now.
<Maybe they were right, maybe she had become evil> But as soon as that thought
entered his head it left.

Spike slowly rolled over to Drusilla and the other vampire.  "You, Ann.  Come
here."

"Well, actually my nameà"  Before Annabel could finished, Spike continued.

"I don't care what your name is, I want you to take this note to the slayer."

"But any vamp that goes near the slayer gets staked.  I rather huge the Judge
then deliver this note."

By then Spike was getting a little pissed at this refusal from this know it
all vampire.  "I said 'want' which means you don't get a choice, " Spike went
and ran over her foot with his wheel chair.  "Now go before Drusilla gets a
craving for some eyes."

"I'm already gone."  That was the last thing that Annabel said before she
halled ass out of the factory.  She had this feeling that when she gave the
note to the slayer she was going to get staked.

Spike then turned his attention to Drusilla and Xander.  "Now, what is this
about the slayer becoming evil.  What else have you seen, luv?"

"Not becoming pet, is.  The darkness is eating her heart."

"Dru, what is this darkness."  Spike was slowly moving closer to Drusilla as
she spoke.

"The dark queen has returned."

As soon as Drusilla mentioned the words 'dark queen' the Judge ended his
pacing, and began muttering to himself.  "No, this can't be, she's dead."

Spike was becoming very confused, but Drusilla seemed to know exactly what the
Judge was muttering about.  "What the bloody hell are you both talking about."

"She's returned to rule.  The stars are screaming her name.  Zeal."  By then
Dru had walked over to Spike and sat down on his lap.  She just sat and mused
about the dark things this new evil could do.

The Judge got extremely freaked at the mentioning of her named and ended up
repeating it to himself.  'Zeal.'

"What's the matter with you?  If this is a new powerful evil, that's a good
thing.  You know help isn't on the way, and all that rot."  Spike could not
understand why the Judge would fear something evil.

"NO!  Her evil is twisted!  She believes that there should only be one evil.
Her.  She was the one who beheaded me, then her army dissembled my body.
Because of her I was unable to clean the world of goodness.  She had the
pieces scatted so that I could not reassemble.  She was mortal, and she
destroyed me!  How in hell is she ALIVE!"

Drusilla got up off of Spike and walked over to the Judge with a smile,
"Because they resurrected her in the slayer.  Now she is coming to my party."

Xander and Spike was floored by this knowledge.  All Xander could do was hang
there on the wall, but Spike knowing that the slayer was possessed by the one
spirit who destroyed the Judge originally worried him greatly.  A sudden
sinking feeling came over him, but decided to compose himself since Drusilla
was so over joyed at this event.  "Pet, why are you so happy about this?"

"Cause she's not going to kill him, this time."  Dru responded with a smile on
her face.

End of Part 6

Personal Note
"You should never suffer for the sins that you have committed, but for the
good deeds you failed to commit."
Azziel Savament

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 4 Aug 1998 20:15:47 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles #22

TITLE: Chronicles of the White Knight #22 In Heart and Mind
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  Very muchly wanted (bad or good...whatever the complaint)
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first.
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: Buffy/Xander fanfic
DISCLAIMER:  The characters portrayed in this fanfic and any such
reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their
creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui
Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other
words, they do not belong to me.  Copyright infringement not intended.

*****************************
Chronicles of the White Knight
#22 In Heart and Mind
By: Taygeta

    The room was engulfed in silence after Buffy and Angel had left.
All eyes fell towards Xander who was still sitting where he had been
before.  Shaking his head, he stood up from the table and looked at them
plaintively.

    "I guess all's right in the world, now, huh?" he said in a trying
attempt at his sarcasm, "At least in Buffy's worldà"

    Willow approached him with a sigh, "Xanderàyou have to - "

    "What, Will?" he asked as he met her eyes with his own, dark and
cold, "I have to just wait and let this thing blow over?  I have to just
sit back and let it all play out?  What well-meaning advice can you
possibly give me that can make me feel less of a fool than I already am?"

    She closed her eyes and gave him a steady glance, "You're not a
fool, Xanderàshe's justàit doesn'tàit's going to okay - "

    "Doesn't, what?!" he demanded again in his frustration, "Doesn't
mean anything?!  Doesn't matter?!  You say it's going to be okay, but I'm
seriously doubting the okainess of this situationàmy girlfriend just
walked out with her ex-boyfriend as if she and I never existedàindicate
the okay!"

    "I - Ià" she faltered realizing that her optimism had failed
heràshe couldn't find even the slightest okay.

    His hard expression softened at her face and he sighed, "I'm
sorry, Willow, I know you only trying to help, but I don't think it's
anything you can help me withàI don't think it's anything that even I can
even help myself with.  I think I better goàandàuhàif any of you see
Buffy, tell her to call meàtell her we need to talk."  And with that,
Xander left without another word, leaving the three remaining of the
Scooby Gang to sit once again in silence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Restless, he turned off the television set and went into his room
to do his sulking.  Closing the door behind him, he sighed and walked
slowly to sit down on his bed.  As he sat there, he couldn't believe that
no more than 6 hours ago, he had been able to say with confidence,
"Buffy, loves me," and believe it as truthàknow it as fact, but now he
couldn't.

    The moment he heard her tell Angel those three little words that
he had once been directed to him in that very same, beautiful tone, it
was as if someone had taken his still-beating heart from his chest and
thrown it against a wall.  His brain had gone numb and he sat there
dumbfounded as she and Angel walked out of the room without very little
careàshe hadn't even rememberedàhadn't cared enough about him to even
look back.

    His eyes fell to a picture that stood on the table beside his bed
and he saw his goofy grin and her equally silly smile the day when they
doubled with Oz and Willow on one of their rare breaks to head over to
Disneyland.  So, they had encountered a monster during their "vacation,"
but that didn't detract from the rest - the good - of the day.  Although
he remembered the happiness and it felt good to remember it, he was
equally left with a feeling of distaste and of anger that in an instant,
she had forgotten the happinessàthat she hadn't even made a point to
rememberàanythingàexcept Angel.

    Placing the picture face down in an effort to lose a pain that
could not be so easily lost, he lifted the composition book that it had
stood upon.  He grinned as he read Mrs. Roslyn's commentary: *Tendency to
run on and repeat ideas, but overall, a heart-wrenching piece, Xander,
well done.  To touch the human heart is indeed the effort of an author.
For the first time and perhaps more days to come and increase, B+*

    He sighedàsomething about what he had writtenàhe didn't feel
quite satisfied with it as he had been before.  It lost the lackluster of
the first time he had put his thoughts on paper.  Grabbing a pen from the
backpack that he had carelessly thrown on the bed, he opened the
composition book to a new page.

    The moment the ink flowed from the tip of the pen on paper, was
the exact moment, his mind became the pen.  His thoughts were the pen
itself, and flowed from his mind like the ink and with every written word
stained on fading blue lines against white, was Xander.

    *I once said, "People don't fall in love with what's right in
front of them.  People want the dream - what they can't have.  The more
unattainable, the more attractive," and at the time I thought it was
true, and I still think it to be true, but I've come to learn that there
are exceptions to every rule.

    I was one of those exceptionsàat least for a time.  My
unattainableàmy most attractive want and dreamàI had itàand now I've lost
it.  It's funnyàI thought that not achieving the want was the worst
feeling anyone can have, but it isn't.  There's something worse than
thatàsomething more extreme than that so-called impossible wish that you
think can't be obtained.  It's when you have what you never thought would
be yours and you cherish that treasure until no endàand then it goes and
walks awayàwithout a second glance or a single word.  It leaves you
feeling so angry and frustrated, but at the same time so hurt.  In a
split second, it was gone as if I never existed, as if *we* never
existed.  No matter how many times I told her I loved her, no matter how
many times I told her I caredàI don't think it was enoughàI don't think
my loving her was enough.  If it had been, I'd still have her heart, like
she still has mineà*

    "Bring!  Bring!" the phone beside him shrilled bringing him out
of his thoughts and back into the darkness of reality.

    Closing his notebook, he reached the for phone with a sigh,
"Hello?"

    And he heard the familiar breathing and recognized the familiar
hesitance, as he leaned back against the pillow, waiting to hear the
similar words that had taken him into the dark before and would sustain
him there still, "Xanderàwe have to talkà."

_____________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Wed, 5 Aug 1998 17:38:36 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 10/?

Title~ Libidinous  10/?
Author~ Shani
Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all
human actions
Summary~  A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists.  Involves characters from
General Hospital, but yoiu donÆt have to watch GH to understand this fic.  I
did change a thing or two around for you GH fans
Disclaimer~  All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss
Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions,
and 20th Century Fox.  ôRhythm of the Saintsö belongs to Paul Simon.  All
characters of General hospital belong to ABC.

Chapter 10, Rhythm of the Saints

< If I have weaknesses
   Don't let them blind me
  Or camouflage all I am wary of
   I could be sailing in seizures of laughter
  Or crawling out from under the heel of love
  Do my prayers remain unanswered
  Like a beggar at your sleeve
  Olodumare is smiling in heaven
  Smiling in heaven I do believe>

    Buffy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  This was her chance to save the
man that she loved.  Everything was almost in place.  Outside, the setting sun
cast long shadows, creating more places to hide.  Everyone was praying that
Arcanus didnÆt show up tonight.  The only æpersonÆ that she wanted here was
Angel.  æThis will work...Æ she repeated in her head for the hundredth time.
æThis is gonna be ok.Æ

< Reach in the darkness
   A reach in the dark
  Reach in the darkness
  A reach in the dark
  To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
  To glide away from the razor or a knife
  To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
  To dominate the impossible in your life>

    They were in the once empty ballroom.  The same room that had brought Angel
back from Hell.  Buffy Buffy and a single candle sat in the center of a circle
of candles, all unlit except the one in front of her.  Stefan, Nikolas,
Xander, Giles, and Willow made a circle around the candle circle.  All of the
lights were off.  Tension filled the room.The sun had only a few more moments
before it disapeared over the horizon.

< Always a stranger when strange isn't fashionable
   And fashion is rich people waving at the door
  Or it's a dealer in drugs or in passion
  Lies of a nature we've heard before
  Do my prayers remain unanswered
  Like a beggar at your sleeve
  Babalu-aye spins on his crutches
  Says leave if you want
  If you want to leave>

    It was time to begin.  Buffy glanced at Giles, who gave her the ægo aheadÆ
nod.
    ôPrompted by teachings of our sages, guided by tradition of the ages, I open
my mouth in petition.  There is but one to protect the land from evils, when
her battle has been won, all wicked shall vanish like smoke.  Then will the
righteous be glad, the upright rejoice, the pious celebrate in song.
    Divide the righteous and the wicked, conquer those that fall in the ways of
evil and sin.  Cast away all evil, for he is good.  Expel that which lie
within, bring him forth once again.ö  Buffy took a pinch of the herbs and
dropped them onto the lit candle.  Suddenly, all the other candles erupted in
flame.  Gently, Buffy picked up the blessed cross.

< Reach in the darkness
   A reach in the dark
   A reach in the darkness
   Reach in the dark
  To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
  To glide away from the razor or a knife
  To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
  To dominate the impossible in your life>

    Now holding the cross, Buffy continued.  ôBind the demon Arcanus, disperse
his pain and death.  Let the righteous go free, let the upright rule the land,
let the pious celebrate in song.ö  A breeze swept through the room, blowing
out all of the candles and sending the people in the room to a world of
complete darkness.
    ôItÆs over.ö  Nikolas said with relief.
    ôNo.ö  Giles started.  ôIt isnÆt.ö  Stefan had managed to find his way to the
lightswitch.  The room was illuminated in a glowing false light.  Only when
their eyes finished adjusting did they notice the Slayer, lying unconscious on
the floor.

< Reach in the darkness
   A reach in the dark
  Reach in the darkness
  A reach in the dark
  To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
  To dominate the impossible in your life
  Reach in the darkness
  A reach in the dark>

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 6 Aug 1998 03:32:24 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 8/?

TITLE: What Just Happened?
AUTHOR: Azziel Savament
E-MAIL:  [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  I need it to live.  PLEASE MORE!!!!  If  I don't get more feed=
 back=0Asoon, I'll kill a main character off=85.HAHAH=85I'm out of my min=
d=85.so don't put=0Ait past me!!!!!!!!!! Some of you have voiced to me th=
at you all want Xander to=0Adie, well put it this way if you want him to =
live tell me or in the next=0Asection his ass is dead.  Kay enjoy this ne=
xt part.
RATING: PG-14 just to be safe.
CONTENT: Angst, Confusion, the usual.
SPOILERS: The story is set after season two happened
SUMMARY: This is a Angel/Buffy what-if story.  It starts off the morning =
after=0Aher suprise party.  What happens when Buffy wake's up to find out=
 that all=0Athat happened from the time of her birthday to the time she s=
ent Angel to hell=0Awas just a dream, or was it??????
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these, they belong to an evil man named J=
oss=0AWhedon.  Hay, wait a minute I created the spirit of Zeal, but every=
thing is=0AJoss's.
NOTE: I have no idea what on earth that I am doing, all I know is that th=
e=0Afanfic must go on!


Part 8: Think and the Stars will fall.

Location:  Angel's Apartment
Time:  An hour before sunset

Zeal was about to knock on the door, when Angel just opened it, and motio=
ned=0Aher to enter.  She looked at him with a confused look then spoke.

"How did you know I was there?"

"I could here your foot steps, and I can always tell when you're near.  I=
=0Amean, I can always tell when Buffy is near.  Where did you get that fr=
om?"=0AMotioning to the katana blade attached to her waist.

"O this old thing."  Looking up at him with a sarcastic smile playing acr=
oss=0Aher face.  "When I asked Giles for a sword this is what he gave me.=
  I never=0Arecalled swords being so light."  Saying as she pulled the ka=
tana out, and=0Aholding it level.

"It a katana, it's Japanese.  The blade is so light weight to make one on=
 one=0Acombat easier."  With that answer Zeal put the blade away.

"So, we do have some time before we have to go to the factory.  I can thi=
nk a=0Afew things that we can do in an hour, and it doesn't involve talki=
ng."  Before=0AAngel could step back, Zeal moved in closer invading his p=
ersonal space.  Zeal=0Ahad a look of sadness in her eyes, the same look t=
hat Buffy had when she awoke=0Afrom that nightmare.  "You know it's not c=
heating since this is her body, and=0Ashe is still inside."

"We can't, Buffy's not in control, and I'm not going to betray her like t=
hat."=0AHe could still see Buffy in those eyes, but had to keep reminding=
 himself that=0AZeal was the one in control.

"Fine, I understand what love means to you.  You see I'm not as soul less=
 as=0Aeveryone thinks."  By then it seem that Zeal had given up trying to=
 seduce=0AAngel, and had moved on to a conversation.

"What do you mean your not soul less."  As he spoke one eyebrow rose and =
he=0Amotioned for her to sit on the couch.  Moments later he sat beside h=
er,=0Awaiting for an explanation.

"You see, I was born with a soul, but life gave my heart so much pain tha=
t it=0Afroze.  I could not stand life any longer, so I just gave up.  Rat=
her then=0Akilling myself, I murdered the weak, and made the strong my ar=
my.  I killed=0Aany and all that opposed me.  I lived for the kill; I lov=
ed every minute of=0Ait.  I had rives of blood flowing at my feet.  But t=
hen something changed."

Angel had a questioning look on his face then spoke.  "What changed?"

"The Judge came.  He wanted to destroy the world; the empire that I had b=
uild=0Awas to be destroyed at his hands.  He offered me a place at his si=
de since he=0Aknew he could not burn me, when I refuse he sent me away wi=
th a small sect of=0Amy army.  The rest of my army died at his hand, or s=
hould I say burn.  The=0Aworld seemed to be ending; I could not take the =
madness any longer.  So I went=0Aback to find everything dead at my feet.=
  At a time I would have rejoice at=0Athe site, but this was my own, thes=
e were the people that I control, that=0Awould die for me=85"  Zeal's voi=
ce began to fade, but then she soon continued.=0AIt seemed her talking ab=
out her past cause her pain, but that didn't seem to=0Astop her.  "And th=
ey did.  Almost all of my army was dead, all except for the=0Asect that t=
raveled with me when I was exiled.  Then I faced him, we destroyed=0Aeach=
 other, I beheaded him, and he beat me to a bloody pulp.  With my last=0A=
breath I ordered my army ripe his body apart, and to take to pieces as fa=
r=0Aapart as they could be, to the ends of the Earth.  I had to ensure th=
at he=0Awould never return, even if it cost me my life."  She look away f=
rom him=0Atrying to cover her tear filled eyes.

"I had no idea."  Angel place his hand on her shoulder trying to con-fort=
 her,=0Abut it seemed to be failing.  Then she finally turned back to he,=
 and began to=0Akiss him passionately.  Only this time Angel was not thin=
king quick enough to=0Aremember that Buffy was not in control.  Zeal real=
ized this soon and started=0Ato take full advantage, and leaned in to dee=
pen the kiss.  Soon looping her=0Aarms around his neck and pulling him cl=
oser.  <What am I thinking, this is not=0ABuffy, I have to stop. > Angel =
soon pushed her off of him, and wiped his mouth=0Awith his hand in disgus=
t.  "We can't do this, I can't do this to her."

Zeal got up with an amused look on her face.  "O but you did."  She said =
with=0Aan amuse grin and began to laugh.  "You an all your kind are so pi=
tiful.  You=0Ahear a said story, and see a few tears; then you can't stop=
 yourself.  You see=0AI just want to see if I could push into you betrayi=
ng her, and I did.  You=0Ashowed that in the kiss.  Buffy had so much fai=
th in you that you hold your=0Aself back for a few days, but I guess she =
was wrong.  Now even she knows it,=0Aremember she's still in here."

Angel was angered to say the least, but he could not let her get to him. =
 He=0Agot up off the couch; he was tired of waiting to leave.  He decide =
that they=0Awould travel to the factory threw the sewers until the sun wa=
s fully set.=0A"Come on we're leaving."

"But the sun hasn't set."  Zeal knew what he was planing, but did not enj=
oy=0Athe idea of traveling threw the sewers.

"We're going now!"  Angel was still trying to contain his anger for her=
=0Aactions from before.  He knew that he had to keep his mind at the task=
 at=0Ahand, and that wasn't going to put up with Zeal's bullshit.

"Fine!"  Zeal answered, seemingly just as angered at him for not reacting=
 to=0Aher charms and tricks.  With that they both stormed out of the apar=
tment,=0Aheaded for the sewers.

End of part 8

Personal note:

What ever does not kill you makes you stronger.

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #290
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