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buffyfic-digest          Sunday, July 5 1998          Volume 02 : Number 257



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (14/17)
       BUFFYFIC: Capeside: the Hellmouth (10/?)
       BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Fanfic Resources
       BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (3/?)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 04 Jul 1998 09:18:51 PDT
From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (14/17)

Title: Repercussions part 14. The story was supposed to be only 16
chapters, but it has gotten away from me a bit and now will be 17
chapters.
Disclaimers: None of these characters are mine. They are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc...
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where.
Feedback: Please, good, bad or whatever. To [e-mail]
Thanks: To Jenn, Rachel and Christine. I really appreciate the help.

Sunnydale High School Library
August 21, 1998
9:00 p.m.

Willow walked quickly towards the library, nervous to be outside alone
as the sun set, but unable to stay at home waiting for news any longer.
Running her hands through her wet hair she wished she had brought an
umbrella. Her worry about Buffy and how things were going with her
mother driving her from her house. She still felt as if she should have
gone with Buffy, she could have run interference if needed and prevented
Buffy's mother from digging to deeply.  Entering the schoolyard her
thoughts turned to Xander, to what he had done, and how harsh she had
been with him.  Wishing that things could go back to normal, that she
could forgive Xander for his choice. Shrugging her shoulders she walked
up the steps into the school, maybe if Xander could ever understand why
what he did was wrong there would be hope for them again. Opening the
doors to the school she smiled ruefully, not very likely that Xander
would ever think Angel dying wasn't a good thing. Shaking off the sudden
lump the thought brought to her throat she headed towards the library
and the comfort it offered.

Slipping through the library doors she let her shoulders relax, enjoying
the familiarity of the place. Amazed it still felt like a safe haven
after all that happened there in the last few years. But is still was,
after everything, it was where they planned and where they recovered.
Glancing around at the disarray she shook her head, Giles wouldn't be
too happy with whoever left all the books and paper on the table.
Heading over to clean it up she caught a glimpse of Giles slumped over
asleep in the chair in his office. Smiling at him, glad that he found
comfort here also, she walked quietly over to a chair and sat down.
Leaning back, she watched the fading sun dance across the ceiling,
letting her thoughts relax for a moment. Sitting up abruptly when she
heard a familiar clomping in the hallway. Her shoulders tense once again
she watched as the door to the library swung open and Buffy entered.

Willow stared at her, taking in her wet hair, mud soaked clothes and the
strange expression on her face.  Noticing that the mud-covered jacket
was Angel's, she wondered if that was a good sign or not. Buffy strolled
towards Willow, her face a mixture of jubilation and despair. Standing
nervously Willow moved towards her, her eyes focused on Buffy's mud
splattered clothes. "W-What happened?" Inwardly cursing herself for the
slight tremble in her voice.

Buffy glanced down at her clothes then smiling she looked back to
Willow. "I slew." Buffy's voice was biting, "Vampires? Remember? Sacred
duty?" Looking at Willow like she was crazy, Buffy threw herself into a
chair and stared intently at her fingernails. Willow swallowed, hoping
Buffy had woken Giles, relieved when she heard movement behind her.
Turning slightly she saw Giles ambling from his office, his face
confused and still sleepy.  Buffy glanced at Giles, not saying anything
then back to her nails. Swallowing her nervousness Willow walked closer
to Buffy, sitting down in a chair next to her.

"Buffy, is that it? Cause you look a little...um...Giles?" Willow turned
to Giles, not knowing if she should press Buffy. Giles just shrugged his
shoulders at her and continued standing there watching Buffy. Nodding
her head she turned back to Buffy, "Um...nothing else happened? How did
it go with your mother?"

"Great." Buffy smiled brightly at Willow, but her eyes were unsettled,
"Mom's great. Very understanding. You know, cause I'm the slayer and I
sent my boyfriend to Hell." Buffy was suddenly very interested in a ring
she wore on her hand, Willow stared at it, realizing it was the one
Angel had given her. Her eyes slid over to Giles to see if he noticed
then turned back to Buffy. She struggled not to stare at the ring,
uncertain if the sudden reemergence of both the jacket and the ring
meant Buffy was getting better or worse. Buffy spoke softly, her eyes
still fixated on her hand. "Oh...I ran into Xander and Cordelia over by
Angel's apartment." Her voice was coated in bitterness, softening only
when she spoke Angel's name.

Willow and Giles looked at each other and back to Buffy, Willow trying
to subdue the surge of pity she felt for both Xander and Buffy. Buffy
watched them, her face bitterly amused, "No worries. Xander's still
living.  I held myself back." Her eyes glittered dangerously as she said
the words, her mouth tight.  Staring back at her ring again, she twisted
it on her finger, a soft smile around her lips. Taking a deep breath she
looked back up at them, " I feel better, stronger. So Giles, I'm
thinking we should get back to work. Any new terrible things on the way?
I'm in the mood to fight evil."

Giles stared at her, stuttering out, "N-No. I..I, well, I'll have to get
my books." Turning he marched into his office, leaving Willow and Buffy
alone.  Willow staring stunned at Buffy and Buffy leaning back in her
chair, apparently totally relaxed.

Willow tried not to speak, to let Buffy deal with things however she
could, but failed, she had to know why Buffy was seemingly so much more
Buffy. Taking a breath she spoke, "Buffy? How...Why? How are you doing
this? Just this afternoon you were so...."

"Fragile?" Buffy's voice was derisive, "Weak? Hiding from reality?
Maybe yelling at Xander was good for me, I feel focused now. Willow,"
Her voice lowered, speaking confidentially, "I really lost it when I saw
Cordelia and Xander together. They looked so in love. And there I was,
on my way into Angel's to say good-bye to him. I wanted him dead Willow.
I was crazy with rage, but after I told him off. I don't know." She
looked at Willow her face confused, "I ran to the graveyard, I was so
full of rage. And I found a vampire there, and fought him. Then I lay in
the mud and cried, but somehow it all seems better now. I mean, I know
what I did to Angel. Don't worry, I'm not hiding any more. But I also
know I had no choice. Xander stole that." Her voice filled with rage for
a moment as she said Xander's name and then sighing she continued,
shaking her head, " No, I can't blame Xander for everything, as good as
it felt to release some of my anger on him. I know what happened isn't
Xander's fault. It's mine. It always has been and it always will be.
But, I can deal with it. I can do my duty. I can remember A-Angel. I am
not weak."

"No," Willow smiled at her, "You're not weak. But, Buffy, it's not your
fault. It just happened, 'Kay?" She stared at Buffy, unable to believe
that the frozen girl from this morning was the same person. Turning she
watched Giles walk back into the room, his arms full of books, as if
suddenly things were back to normal. He walked over to the table,
pushing some of the clutter that were already there aside.  A piece of
paper fluttered to the floor and Willow leaned over and picked it up,
glancing at it quickly before placing it back on the table. Then as she
realized what it said, she grabbed it again, her heart pounding.
Standing up she walked away from Giles and Buffy so they couldn't see
her expression as she looked down at what was written, in Xander's
handwriting on the page. She closed her eyes, trying to keep her sudden
dread from her face and turned back to Giles and Buffy. Staring at them,
she opened her mouth to once again alter their lives.

"Um...Oh God. Giles, Buffy. I think Xander is doing something really
stupid." She took a deep breath and held the paper out to Giles,
avoiding Buffy's eyes. She watched Giles read it, watched the fear
streak across his face. Looking up he ignored Buffy, his eyes meeting
Willow's, at her nod he turned to Buffy.

"It..um, it appears that Xander has found a way to open a door to Hell."
His voice was worried. Willow watched Buffy, to see her reaction. She
sat, unmoving staring at Giles, a thousand emotions traveling through
her face, hope, fear, terror, worry. Willow reached her hand out towards
Buffy, moving to stand directly in front of her.

"We have to help him. Stop him." Willow's voice was pleading, "Xander
can't do this. Buffy, do you understand?" She stared intently at Buffy,
understanding then that Xander was still very important to her, no
matter what he did, or how much he betrayed her, she would always love
him.

Buffy nodded slowly, looking at Giles. "I'll stop Xander, but you have
to promise to help me go. After Xander is okay. Giles, I want to go. I
can save Angel. I can make it better."

Giles shook his head, "Buffy, no. I-I can't help you do it.  There is no
way Xander can do it. I've never heard of a person going into Hell and
returning."

Willow looked at both of them like they were insane, "Have you guys
forgotten what happens when Xander plays with spells? Terrible, bad
things. We have to stop him." Her arms were flailing as she spoke,
pointing at Buffy, then turning to Giles she continued, " And Buffy's
right Giles, you have to help her. Angel has a soul, we can't leave him
there. Not if there is a way for him to come back." She stopped,
breathing heavily, her heart racing.

Giles was silent for a moment, his face surprised then rubbing the
bridge of his nose he nodded, "Yes. We'll look into the spell. And if
it's safe then we can try it." Shaking his head he walked over to the
other books that had been left on the table and began shuffling through
them. Willow turned to Buffy, needing to know her response. She was
looking at her ring, an almost hopeful expression on her face.

Willow tapped her on the arm, "Well?"

Buffy looked surprised at Willow's impatient expression. Smiling at her
she said, "Willow, calm down. Xander won't try this on his own. He'll
come to either you or Giles for help first. He's not doing it right now
anyway, he's with Cordelia."

They both turned as Giles slammed a book onto the table, cursing under
his breath. Willow spoke first, "What?"

Giles looked up, his face anxious, "Buffy, what was the name of the
demon you met in my apartment?"

"Whistler, why?" Buffy looked at him, her face confused. Willow just
stared at both of them, feeling her stomach sinking, her pulse racing
once again.

Giles stared at a piece of paper on the table, speaking quietly.
"Because his name is written on a piece of paper in Cordelia's
handwriting."

Willow tensed as Buffy jumped out of her seat and raced over to Giles.
She felt as if she was watching from very far away as Buffy's face
turned from hopefulness to fear and she started talking loudly to Giles,
her hands waving in the air. Gasping, Willow struggled for air, trying
to say something, anything, to make them go stop Xander and this demon,
to find Xander before he got himself killed, or trapped in Hell.

"ANGEL'S" Buffy's voice cut through the fog surrounding her, Buffy's
face suddenly understanding, "He's doing it at Angel's. That's why they
were on his street. Giles, that was hours ago. We've got to go. Willow?"
Buffy turned to her, suddenly noticing Willow's ashen face, walking over
to her Buffy grabbed her hand. "I'll get him Willow. I promise. Xander's
gonna be fine."

Buffy let go of her hand and Willow watched as she raced out of the
door, calling behind her for them to meet her there. Turning to Giles,
she tried to control her fear, still struggling for air. Giles grabbed
her as she swayed, pushing her into a chair, her head between her knees.
Rubbing her head he spoke soothingly to her, telling her that things
would be okay, that Buffy would stop him. She listened to his words, not
believing any of them as her head cleared. Sitting up slowly, trying to
keep the room in focus and not think of what Xander was doing. She
stood, holding onto Giles for support, telling herself to be strong for
Xander's sake. Forcing her mind to go blank, she hurried out of the
door, Giles close behind her, praying that Buffy would get there in
time.



______________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 4 Jul 1998 18:38:58 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Capeside: the Hellmouth (10/?)

TITLE: Capeside: the Hellmouth #10 Almost Full Moon
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION: Sure...just tell me where it's gonna go.
RATING: PG
SERIES: A Dawson's Creek/Buffy Crossover
DISCLAIMER: The characters and any other reference to Dawson's Creek are
the property of, creator, Kevin Williamson. The characters portrayed and
in reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to its creator Joss
Whedon, and it's owners Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  In other words, they do not
belong to me and I am just borrowing them.  No copyright infringement is
intended.

**************************
Capeside: the Hellmouth
#10 Almost Full Moon
By: Taygeta

    A long, loud howl echoed in the night, casting an even stranger
feeling in the already hazy atmosphere of the Capeside graveyard.  It was
bad enough that the full moon was on fast approachàtomorrow.  And since
it was the day before the full moon, the former Sunnydale residents were
a little bit on edge when they heard this particular sound.

    "Uhàwhat was that?"  Xander asked Buffy, the first words said
between them after the Slayerette troop had split up for night patrol, in
which they had somehow gotten partnered up with each other.  "'Cause
whatever it isàit's giving me the major wiggins."

    "Do you think it's possible that Capeside's got a werewolfàlike
back home?" she asked glancing at him, "I mean, if Oz was Sunnydale's
wolfie guy what if there's anotheràwolfie guy just a Capeside one?"

    "And it comes to mindàwhat if it's a wolfie girlàwho is neither
meek nor girlie-girl, and equals a certain blonde slayer girl in
strength?" he replied recalling a statement Willow had made during the
werewolf scare back home.

    "It's probably nothing," the slayer said with a doubtful tone,
"Just some stray in the graveyard."

    The moment she finished saying that a long, loud howl rang
through the night, again, and this time it was followed by a scream.

    "That sounded like Joey!"  Xander said with a voice of concern.

    "Something's happenedàI knew I shouldn't have agreed to let them
come and patrol!" fumed Buffy guiltily.

    "Hey," he said looking at her with a soft expression, "Buffy,
it's not your faultàthey knew the risksàthey wanted to help.  Come on,
let's go find Joey."

    She smiled a thanks for his concern and he grinned in return
before they ran through the cemetery to where Dawson and Joey were
suppose to have been patrolling.

    "Oh God," Jen said, as she and Angel followed behind Xander and
Buffy and they all say Joey's bloody arm, "What happened?"

    Dawson stood up from her side and said, "Something just came out
of the bush after we heard that howl and it attacked her.  My game face
was an instantaneous reaction on my part, and with much luck, it got
away, but not before it bit her arm slightly.  I was able to stop the
bloodàit was good thing that monster wasn't able to penetrate too deeply
into her skin with his bite."

    Xander and Buffy looked at each other worriedly and finally Buffy
gulped before asking the inevitable question, "Dawsonàdid you see a
werewolf?"

     "What?" he asked in a surprised tone, "A werewolf?  Do those
things exist?"

    "Heyàshouldn't we be concerned if Joey's okay or not?"  Angel
responded over the crowd of voices.

    "You're questioning the existence of a canine-related monster
when you yourself is a member of the Undead Americans and with a soul I
might add?"  Joey said as she gave Dawson a look.

    "Never mindàshe's fine," Angel said with a laugh.

    "You guys better take Joey to Giles and Ms. CalendaràI'll stick
around for awhile for night patrol," Buffy said with a sigh.

    After walking a few steps away from the slayer, Xander stopped
them, "Hey guys, I think I should stay and keep her company.  You guys go
on ahead, okay?"

    "Stay now instead of then because she would have made you go
away, huh?"  Jen said with a light smile before they walked away from
him.

    Buffy looked up when she heard the rustling of the leaves, her
heart raced in the thought that it might be the werewolf.  She sighed
when she saw that it was only Xander, and although she was realized, her
heart was still going a little too fast for her comfort.

    "What are you doing here, Xander?" she said, "I thought I told
you to go with them."

    "I figured that it didn't take 4 people to bring Joey to G-man,"
he said, "Besides, you think I'm going to leave you here by yourself with
a possible, as Joey put it, 'canine-related creature' runnin' loose?"

    "Giles speak, they have it down coldàhow is that humanly
possible?" she responded, purposely changing the subject.

    Xander paused and thought, "Okayàthey are not normal.  I mean the
usage of big words can make one seem entirely over verboseàdid I just say
what I think I just said?"

    She smiled, "I think we've been hanging around the Capeside
locals just a little too much."

    "What do you think about hanging out with a Sunnydale localàI
mean in doing something that's on the verge of the less undead?" he said
glancing at her surprised expression.

    Before Buffy could reply, her smile faded and her eyes noted some
swift movement in the foliage, and she stood up.  Xander followed her
lead and looked around carefully and then both slayer and slayerette
registered the image almost simultaneously.

    "Werewolfà" he heard her mutter under her breath.

    They eyed the creature as it slowly approached them, and as it
drew nearer and nearer, Xander kept glancing from it to her in
uncertainty, and finally he said in a low voice, "Buffyàwhat are you
doing?"

    "This werewolfàI'm not getting the bad vibes I got before - "
Buffy began to explain until suddenly, something strange jumped in front
of them.

    "Get away from himàyou don't understand!"

    The creature was obviously a femaleàtall and slim in form.  She
had thick, dark brown hair that flowed long and wavy behind her.  If it
weren't for the points on her ears, her tiny fangs, and the mountain man
hair that coated part of her arms and legs lightly she could have passed
very well as a young woman.  As they took in the sight of this unfamiliar
figure, a light of understanding turned itself on inside of the slayer's
mind.

    "Joey?"

_____________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 08:10:14 -0400 (EDT)
From: Betsy Vera <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Fanfic Resources

(posted with Jill's permission)

Just a quick note to say...Fanfic Resources is back online (finally!). A
big "thank you" to everyone who updated their listing after last month's
e-mail from me. That really helped me get the site up and running again. I
think the redesign is going to make things easier all around.

btw, I know I'm missing a *ton* of fanfic listings. If you have or know of
a website or fanzine that has fanfic, please let me know about it (via
private e-mail, of course) so I can add it.

http://bentley.simplenet.com

Thanks all.

*--------------------------------------------------------------------*
| Betsy Vera             |        Fanfic Resources is back:          |
| [e-mail]      |                                           |
| bentley.simplenet.com  |      http://bentley.simplenet.com         |
*--------------------------------------------------------------------*

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 5 Jul 1998 10:41:55 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (3/?)

TITLE: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo #3 Xander
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  Pretty please with a cherry on top!
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first.
RATING: PG-13
DESCRIPTION: Buffy is blind, various POVs
DISCLAIMER:  The characters any such reference to Buffy the Vampire
Slayer television series belong to their creator, Joss Whedon, and their
owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar
Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, they do not belong to
me.  Copyright infringement not intended.

******************************
In Opacitatem Habitant Modo
#3 Xander
By: Taygeta


    The door closed behind Giles when he left, a purposely-soundless
exit for the sake of the slayer.  After much training on her part, and
much idly watching on mine, she had finally allowed herself to restàor
rather her body was forcing her to do so.  The tired expression that lay
dormant on her face seemed eerily normal to me somehow, and the look of
serenity that accompanied it seemed like such a rare calm to my eyes.

    Closing my eyes, I see nothing but the dark crevices of my mind,
and I wonder how I could live in thisàthis darknessàthis black abyssàwith
the knowledge that it might be forever.  Yet, light even penetrates and
seeps itself into this tried barrier, hers is a world without even the
faintness of the glowing miracle.  My eyes open and immediately I smile
at the sight of her faceàher expressionàa beauty beyond words, found in
more than just face, but more in who she was at heart.  Her
determination, her strengthàher love for her friendsàthe miracle of the
beauty within.

    "How can you be so strong, Buffy?"  I whispered in the quiet,
"The nightmaresàthe fearsàthe dark, nothing seems to faze you for long.
I know you're scared just like us, but we have the one thing that you
don't haveàyou.  I think that's what keeps all of going onàthe knowledge
that you're thereàfighting for us as well as yourself.  I just hope you
know, Buffy, that no matter what, we'll be there for you, too."

    I still remember how Druscilla's hand had struck her face,
tearing at her eyes like a mad woman, when she had killed her beloved
Spike.  The scars that evidenced this rage had healed, and therefore its
permanent aftermath, her lost sight, baffled the doctorsàbewildered
everyone elseàexcept usàwho knew and were the only ones who would have
believed anyway.

The images still comes back to me in nightmaresàas if my brain were a VCR
on a constant rewind and playà

    "You killed himàyou killed Spike!"  Druscilla had said angrily as
tears streamed down her pallid complexion.

    She knocked me down, pushed me with all the might of a singular
powerful hand, causing me to collide with the hard, stone wall.  My head
throbbed and a healing head wound had torn open, causing blood to stream
out of my head.  Realityàunrealityàall was a haze, until I was able
concentrate my eyes to one portion of the roomàwhere Druscilla and Buffy
stood alone.

    "You killed him!" the vampire bemoaned repetitively.

    Without warning, she lunged at the unprepared Slayer.  Her hands
were a blur of fingers, nails, and the red-violet velvet fabric of her
dress as I fell back into unconsciousness, the last thing I could
hearàthe only thing I could hear was Buffyàscreaming for her lifeà

    I shudder every time I reach this point.  It is this point where
I wake up fearing that she was dead although I knew she had survived.
It was the same every time and every time was becoming fiveàsixàtimes
dailyàduring classàduring sleepàI never know when it's going to come at
meàmuch like Druscilla attacked Buffy.

     "Xander?" a tired voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I
noticed that Buffy had woken up after only a fifteen-minute name, "What
time is it?"

    "Yeahàit's almost tenàhow did you know it was me?"  I couldn't
help but ask as I looked at her blank eyes.

    She smiled lightly, "You're cologneàit's a pretty distinct scent
in the libraryàI mean, I doubt Giles would be the kinda guy to be
sportingàhmmàHugo Bossàwasn't it Polo Sport before?"

    "Yeahàit wasàbefore Cordy gave me a bottle of Hugo Boss for no
apparent reasonàalthough at first, I was kinda wondering if she thought I
stunk," I joked as usual.

    Her smile, although tired, broadened slightly, "I kinda liked it
the way it was beforeànot that you stink or anything, now, although one
has to take into mind the days of the hyena."

    "I told youàI had no control over thatàno memory whatsoeverà" I
began to protest, but I was interrupted by a sound at the door.

    "Umàhey," Cordelia said as she approached us and she promptly
kissed me on the cheek and I automatically did the same with a grin.

    "Hi," I responded.

    "You ready to go home, Buffy?" she asked, and then I remembered
that Giles had arranged for Cordy to drive her home, since she was the
only slayerette besides Oz that had a car.

    Wearily, she stood up and replied, "UhàyeahàI'll see you
tomorrow, Xander."

    After they left, I sat in the library waiting for Giles, Willow,
and Oz to return to Slayer Headquarters.  The room was quiet and a
singular light beside me glowed brightly in the dark room.  I turned it
off and sat there in the darkness and the silenceàa glimpse into her
worldàand then I turned the light back onàsomething she will never be
able to do.

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

------------------------------

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