J.W.

In eighth grade, I was given one of the star roles in 'Li'l Abner', Mammy Yokum. My costume was a black skirt and a shirt with a very stretchy, wide collar. The boy who played my husband was very small so i could pick him up during the dance numbers. Well, during the one where we had our solo, I was supposed to pick him up and twirl him around three times, then put him down so we could get ready for the group dance. On the second night of performances, I picked him up and he was like "Um, Dixie, your shirt" I looked down and realized it had caught on his belt and stretched down, showing off my see-through bra to the whole audience. So I put him down early and all was well, but I could hear my friends in the first two rows laughing at me. And THEN, during the finale for that number, I had to pick him up again, and it happened AGAIN, and I could hear everyone laughing at me. Needless, to say, my friends and boyfriend still joke about it, and I wore a different shirt for the other two performances.

Last October I was the maid of honour at my best friends wedding. The happy wedding couple decided they wanted to celebrate their heritage and have all their attendants in traditional scottish attire. My husband was chosen as a groomsman.

So when it came time for fittings, my husband and I were both amused at the thought of both of us wearing skirts, me in a dress and him in a kilt. According to tradition, men are not supposed to wear underwear when in regimental uniform. So needless to say on the day of the wedding, I was trying my hardest to see if my husband was truly regimental or not.

The opportunity arose (no pun intended) at the reception when I was following my husband to the bar. I stopped briefly to say hello to an old friend of the brides. I turned around to see the back of my husband, still heading towards the bar. Here was my chance ... I quickly lifted the kilt of my husband and squeezed his firm naked bum.

So quickly he turned around! To my uttermost shock, the man that turned around was not my husband! I looked into the eyes of one of the other groomsmen!

It turned out my husband had also stopped to sit and chat with some of the other attendants while waiting for me to finish visiting. The poor unsuspecting groomsman that I violated got up to get a drink at the exact moment I myself finished chatting. I bet he wished he waited one more minute....as did his wife when she found out! I was even more embarrassed the next morning at the gift opening brunch when all was revealed to the rest of the wedding party! But as shocking as it was, I must admit, he did have a very firm bum!

When I was in 6th grade, I went to a school that had co-ed gym classes. That day we were having physical training tests - the kind where you have to climb the rope, running, sit-ups, etc. This particular test was the sit-up exam and you had to see how many sit-ups you could do in one minute.

Before we started though the P.E. teacher told us to pair off. And we could pair off with a boy or girl if we wanted to. Well, I was very good at the sit-ups and I had a little crush on Jennifer so I wanted her to be my partner. As it turned out Jennifer had a crush on me too. It took every ounce of courage I had to ask her to be my partner but I did it. The partner's job was not only to count the sit-ups but also to hold the feet of the other person.

So, Jennifer went first and I held her feet and counted. I must admit that my hormones were surging holding her feet and staring at her bare legs while she did the sit-ups. To be quite honest I was also catching glimpses of her panties as she did the sit-ups too. This just made me more nervous though. In fact I was so nervous that my stomach hurt really bad (I was very shy).

Well, it became my turn and she held my feet for me. The teacher said go and I was determined to impress sweet Jennifer. I did the sit-ups as fast as I could, straining to do them faster than I ever did. I was nearing the end of the minute and really moving. Between the combination of the strain and the fact that my stomach hurt, I did one of the last sit-ups of the minute and...rrrrriiipppp!

Yep, that's right - I farted right in sweet Jennifer's face. Not a silent but deadly either, but a loud fart that virtually the whole class could hear. Everyone started laughing and Jennifer just turned beet-red. Needless to say, I think her crush on me ended that day.

Well, now I'm 27 and although I'm in fairly good shape and actually am pretty skinny, I have a pretty good sized stomach. I refused to ever do sit-ups again! Why didn't I hear about Bean-O then?

Jennifer

I was about 16 years old when boys were on my mind constantly.

Unfortunately I went to an all girls Catholic school, which made it even worse. So when HP boys school had a cultural presentation day I was very eager to go. I put on my best skirt, shoes and top. It was all going very well and I went to the toilet. When I came out all the guys were staring at me, up and down and I felt like I was it and strutted down the hallway. All of a sudden this old lady came up to me and said I have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe and my skirt was tucked into my black stockings and you could see my whole ass....very, very, embarrassing.

Last October I was the maid of honour at my best friends wedding. The happy wedding couple decided they wanted to celebrate their heritage and have all their attendants in traditional scottish attire. My husband was chosen as a groomsman.

So when it came time for fittings, my husband and I were both amused at the thought of both of us wearing skirts, me in a dress and him in a kilt. According to tradition, men are not supposed to wear underwear when in regimental uniform. So needless to say on the day of the wedding, I was trying my hardest to see if my husband was truly regimental or not.

The opportunity arose (no pun intended) at the reception when I was following my husband to the bar. I stopped briefly to say hello to an old friend of the brides. I turned around to see the back of my husband, still heading towards the bar. Here was my chance ... I quickly lifted the kilt of my husband and squeezed his firm naked bum.

So quickly he turned around! To my uttermost shock, the man that turned around was not my husband! I looked into the eyes of one of the other groomsmen!

It turned out my husband had also stopped to sit and chat with some of the other attendants while waiting for me to finish visiting. The poor unsuspecting groomsman that I violated got up to get a drink at the exact moment I myself finished chatting. I bet he wished he waited one more minute....as did his wife when she found out! I was even more embarrassed the next morning at the gift opening brunch when all was revealed to the rest of the wedding party! But as shocking as it was, I must admit, he did have a very firm bum!

I was on a date with my boyfriend, who is super cute and really popular. We went out to dinner, and we had food that neither of us had tried before and I, being really clumsy, spilled my food down my shirt, and to my super small skirt. It was really embarrassing, my legs and clothes got all dirty and as it was summer, I had no coat to cover it with.

We went home so that I could change and I came out in a night shirt and we watched a movie. I was sitting down and he rested his head on my lap.

During the movie, I let out a loud, nasty fart, while his head was on my lap. It was mortifying! All he did was look up at me, I couldn't bring myself to respond, and then he took his head from my lap. Talk about a ruined evening.

C. McCoy
The Champ!

Jenn

I was feeling a little sick to the stomach when we stopped by my friend's house, so I went to go to the bathroom. Now normally, I do not even use anyone's bathroom but my own for situations other than peeing, but this was an emergency.

I went to the bathroom, and flushed. The water just started rising, instead of going down. I quickly turned off the water behind the toilet, but now what??? There was no plunger in the bathroom to be found, and I didn't want to tell my friend, "hey, you got a plunger" I thought I was going to die. I took this large movie theater cup that was in the bathroom, and removed some of the water in the toilet, and tried flushing again. No luck. I ended up taking off my shirt, so it wouldn't get anything on it, and sticking my hands in to remove the toilet paper and poop out of the way, and then using both my hands as a "virtual plunger" to unclog the thing. I got it to flush everything little by little.

Just as I was cleaning up, and had thrown the cup out the window so I wouldn't have to explain, my friends mom walked into the bathroom. So there I was, standing in a bra with the window wide open.

I told her I was having an allergic reaction to something and it was causing me to overheat, but somehow I don't think she bought it, cause she still looks at me kinda funny from time to time. A little while after, she asked her daughter why there was a plastic cup outside.

Last October I was the maid of honour at my best friends wedding. The happy wedding couple decided they wanted to celebrate their heritage and have all their attendants in traditional scottish attire. My husband was chosen as a groomsman.

So when it came time for fittings, my husband and I were both amused at the thought of both of us wearing skirts, me in a dress and him in a kilt. According to tradition, men are not supposed to wear underwear when in regimental uniform. So needless to say on the day of the wedding, I was trying my hardest to see if my husband was truly regimental or not.

The opportunity arose (no pun intended) at the reception when I was following my husband to the bar. I stopped briefly to say hello to an old friend of the brides. I turned around to see the back of my husband, still heading towards the bar. Here was my chance ... I quickly lifted the kilt of my husband and squeezed his firm naked bum.

So quickly he turned around! To my uttermost shock, the man that turned around was not my husband! I looked into the eyes of one of the other groomsmen!

It turned out my husband had also stopped to sit and chat with some of the other attendants while waiting for me to finish visiting. The poor unsuspecting groomsman that I violated got up to get a drink at the exact moment I myself finished chatting. I bet he wished he waited one more minute....as did his wife when she found out! I was even more embarrassed the next morning at the gift opening brunch when all was revealed to the rest of the wedding party! But as shocking as it was, I must admit, he did have a very firm bum!

It was last summer, and I was going out with a guy who didn't treat me right at all. I had just gotten off the phone with my best friends brother, who I had always been close with in the brotherly love type way, and recently had gotten a huge crush on. Anyway, he told me that he was going to come over and help me break up with my boyfriend. Of course, I agreed. He got to my house and my friend called and I invited her over also.

We went into my backyard and started jumping on the trampoline. I was wearing my brand new pair of capri pants and a sexy little white shirt that tied at the chest. We were all jumping when I decided to show off and do a flip. As I was in mid-air, my pants split in the back, but luckily no one noticed. I whispered the even to my friend who immediately started laughing. I walked all the way back to my house backwards, my friend and crush following.

I was almost there when I stepped in dog crap and slipped. I was so grossed out that I forgot about my split pants and ran and jumped into the pool. When I came up from under the water, I noticed my friend and my crush laughing...I looked down and realized why. My shirt had untied and my boobs were totally exposed.

To make matters worse ... I accidently locked us out of the house so I had to crawl through the window in front of them in a wet white shirt, with no bra, and capri pants with a rip in the back. This little event was the talk of the town...for the rest of the summer.

David

I had to attend mass with my confirmation class, and we all sat together in the front of the church. I had eaten something that didn't sit too well in my stomach, and I had bad gas, but I couldn't miss confirmation class. Besides, I had thought, I have good control over my body, I can hold it in.

Well, during the middle of the gospel, my stomach started to really hurt. I wanted to go to the bathroom, but we weren't allowed, so I had to stand there gripping the front of the pew, trying to hold in it. It felt like I had a bad cramp. When we finally got to sit down, I was relieved, but it still hurt. I tried my hardest not to let one slip, but during a moment of SILENT (note - no one is talking or making a sound, even a pin drop could be heard) prayer, I felt a twinge in my throat. I swallowed, but it didn't work - I coughed. And out with that cough came the loudest fart that echoed through the church. The other students started snickering and trying not to burst into hysterical laughter, the rest of the people were either laughing also, or looking at me in total disgust. How humiliating!!!

Last year in 8th grade my teacher, Miss Markota, was moving us around the room because she wasn't happy with our seating arrangement. She looked at me and goes "Lacie, I want you to move over there." So I took my books and I sat in the seat she pointed at. I set my books under the desk and was just sitting there watching people move around the room when I realized I couldn't move. I looked down to see my jeans were caught in the desk. I was trying as hard as I could to remain calm and get my jeans unstuck and praying she wouldn't make me move again. Just then she says "Lacie, move back over there." and points somewhere to the other side of the room.

I had no idea what to do so I just look up at her and say "Miss Markota.....? I'm..stuck.." Everything gets dead quiet and then my classmates start laughing. Miss Markota, standing at the front of the room, was at a loss for words. She came over to me and said (I remember her exact words) "Oh you silly girl, you really ARE stuck!" which set my classmates off again. She got my pants free and I moved over to what happened to be a group of my friends. To make it worse, the teachers ate lunch in the science room, and I happened to have science right after lunch. I walk in the room where all my teachers are sitting just as Miss Markota is finishing the story, the teachers are rolling on the ground laughing as it is, when they see me walk in. Later that week I also got a hole ripped in my pants from a desk, also in Miss Markota's room.

Moral of the story: Stay away from Springfield Intermediate School's desks.

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

David
Champion Again!

My dad sometimes has the maturity of, well, a 10 year old.

He always does his best to embarrass me, and he did!!! My dad decided he was bored so he took me to Wal-mart. We were crusin' down the aisles when all of a sudden he started banging the cart up against any rack in sight. I pretended I was not with him, until suddenly BOOM, he had crashed into a display rack with skimpy panties, he knocked it completely over. Panties were everywhere.

I ran to the nearest aisle and covered my face because I was laughing hysterically!!! But he found me and he informed me that we had forgotten some bananas. It was across the entire store!

So I got up and trudged over to the food section, looked at the front of the basket and found skimpy panties hanging from the cart! (about 2 or 3 pairs!!) I almost died of laughter!

I had to pee soooo bad, and at that moment I did! All over the floor and on myself!!! To make it worse the loudspeaker came on and said "clean up on aisle 5" so everybody was looking.

I was surrounded in everyone's laughter, and to this day my dad and the manager of Wal-mart will not let me live it down!!!! Needless to say, we never got the bananas!

I play trombone in a high school band. When I was a sophomore, everyone knew me because of my bigger sister, who was one of those popular people and an awesome band member.

Anyways, it was the second home game of the season and most of my marching positions were up near the front sidelines. At one point we stand still for what seems like ever and the trombones play really loud. I took a deep breath and played a note that is pretty high on trombone, and also the loudest part we play. All of a sudden, all this white stuff started blowing out of my horn. The whole audience starting cheering and laughing when they noticed. To our credit, the band marched on, but after the show, everyone was laughing. It turned out that some of my sister's friends had shoved a bunch of shaving cream down my instrument and it had been working loose while I played. When I blasted out that loud note, it came out. Our band director was furious, of course, but now I can look back and laugh (although I had a heck of a time getting all that junk out of my trombone).

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

David
StillChampion!

It was my very first state gymnastics meet, and I was thrilled that I had made it. I had to pee the entire meet ever since warm-ups had started. I didn't want to go to the bathroom for fear of missing my turn on the next event. That and the long-sleeved leotards were hard to peel off in the summer heat. As the last event approached the excitement built, but along with adrenaline came the feeling of pee! As I was waiting for my music to start, I couldn't hold it in any more. I started to squat and dance around.

The judge stopped the music, and announced over the loud speaker if I had to use the bathroom. I nodded my head and ran off the floor. The most embarrassing part was that I had to come out and perform my routine. My gymnastic friends still have not let me live it down.

It was my very first state gymnastics meet, and I was thrilled that I had made it. I had to pee the entire meet ever since warm-ups had started. I didn't want to go to the bathroom for fear of missing my turn on the next event. That and the long-sleeved leotards were hard to peel off in the summer heat. As the last event approached the excitement built, but along with adrenaline came the feeling of pee! As I was waiting for my music to start, I couldn't hold it in any more. I started to squat and dance around.

The judge stopped the music, and announced over the loud speaker if I had to use the bathroom. I nodded my head and ran off the floor. The most embarrassing part was that I had to come out and perform my routine. My gymnastic friends still have not let me live it down.

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

David
StillChampion!

Last year, as a freshman in a popular Engineering School in Philadelphia, I lived on the floor of the dorms that was commonly used for tours (it was one of the nicest on campus). Well, the dorm was set up as a single straight hallway with the demo room on the other end of the hall. I had forgotten my keys when I went to the shower, and had locked myself out of my room. As I stood to unlock my room, a merry prankster friend of mine ran by and grabbed my towel (the only garment I was wearing) just as I heard the doors to the elevator open. When I turned around (naked) all I could see was a tour group, complete with Moms, Dads, prospective Students and two Nuns. Needless to say, they all got a good view as I curled up in a ball on the floor.

It was my sophomore year in high school, and I had the most boring class ever - World History. And I had this class right after lunch, making it even harder for me to stay awake. To top it all off, my teacher had to be the worst ever. I looked at her and my eyelids got droopy. She had the worst teaching style ever. We would walk into class to see her with a slide projector proclaiming "today we're going to India (or wherever)!"

The constant slide shows (I'm sorry, "trips") and movies that we watched in the dark made it very easy for me to catch up on the much desired sleep that high school students are deprived of. Every day I would walk into the class and sit down, and every day I would fall asleep. The worst part was, I would try to stay awake, because I knew I needed to pay attention.

On one such occasion, I went into class determined to stay awake and take notes on her lecture (no movie this time). Two minutes later my head was on the desk and i was out. But you know that stage of sleep that exists between awake and comatose? I was in it, and it so happened that I experienced the "jerky thing" that occurs that makes you jerk up out of your slumber really quickly. It's kind of like the falling dream, without the falling. The jerking motion is still there, though. So I get this feeling, and I jump awake - and fall right out of my chair and desk onto the floor, while the desk goes and topples over the opposite way. The entire class stared at me laughing while I picked myself up, and the teacher stood at the front of the class, not saying a word, until I was finished, and then she proceeded to move on with the lecture as if nothing had happened. It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

David
StillChampion!

My school friends and I went to a local pool. We noticed that there were some guys in our school their as well. One of them my best friend liked and was talking to. I was in a one piece bathing suit with spaghetti straps. Mind you, I am and was heavy chested. Some of my other friends and I decided to go diving. Well needless to say when it came to my turn. I dove less than gracefully (or actually I dove gracefully but my bathing suit decided to not cooperate). One of the straps broke and I flashed the guys in my school. When I hit the water I straightened up as well as I could but could not find the strap and could not get the bra cup adjusted quite right for maybe half a minute. This prolonged my exposure. My friend joked with me afterward that I always wanted to get her guy's attention. He apparently ogled me quite a while on my way down and in the water. I don't do any high diving these days.

I'm 34 years old and I still think this was the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone. I was at a going away party for a fellow employee, about 35 of us and we all decided to sit around and talk. I arrived a little late, fixed my plate of goodies and started towards the area to join the crowd.

Just as I bent down to sit, I let out the loudest gas you could even imagine. I was soooooo embarrassed, I could have fainted on the spot. Everyone looked at me and laughed, my face was completely red, and hot as fire. I excused my self and ran to the bathroom. When I came out everyone, laughed again and this time I joined them. Lucky for me this was not the highlight of our Friday morning meeting.

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

David
(A New Champ!)

Being the active young lad I am, for the past 3 years I've been participating in services at church. A few weeks ago I was scheduled for communion service on Sunday morning. Well, about three minutes before I had to go up in front of the entire congregation, I got a NRB (no reason boner). I hurriedly tried to fix it where no one could tell. I inadvertently unzipped the fly to my khaki chinos. This had to be the day I wore the flappiest boxers I own. So when I was walking down the aisle (fly still open, I not knowing) I felt a light breeze down-under and realized that I've flashed everyone, including my father, the minister, unknowingly. As smooth as I could possibly be, I reached down, stuffed my stuff back in and zipped up my pants.

No one had the courage to even talk to me after services.

When I was fourteen years old, my eighth grade class went on a three-day graduation trip. I was so excited to be vacationing in a big city! I wound up sharing a hotel room with three good friends of mine.

Naturally, on the first night, we were all so excited that we couldn't sleep. At about midnight, we were kind of restless. One of my friends went out on the balcony for some air, and it was my turn for the shower, so I started to undress.

Suddenly, my friend screamed! I ran out to the balcony to see if she was alright, and she was. Our hotel was built so that our balcony had a view of the balconies on the other side of the building, and one boy in another balcony had just mooned my friend. She was startled, but fine. As soon as I was satisfied she was alright, I heard a whistle coming from another balcony and turned around.

There, observing me intently from his balcony, was the guy I secretly adored for five years. It was just then that I realized in my rush to get to my friend...I had forgotten I wasn't dressed from the waist up. I turned around and raced back into the hotel room, completely mortified. That was three years ago and I still haven't lived it down!

This isn't easy for me to admit but I must have made the whole school laugh so it should make a few people crack a smile..

It was the 6th grade and anyone who was anyone hated History. My way out of it was to go to the bathroom. Without fail, every day about 5 minutes before class was out, I would raise my hand and ask to be "let out to the bathroom". Sure enough I would get let out and I would walk to my bus 5 minutes early. However one Friday afternoon, I learned to never cry wolf.

Since the school was so big, we had temporaries about 400 yards from the school, so the bathroom was in the main building. That Friday, we took a quiz that I had finished early, I raised my hand as usual and asked to be "let out to the bathroom." This time however, I really did have to go, I had been sick that week with bad diarrhea. The teacher called my bluff by telling me what I had been doing all the other times I needed to "go to the bathroom." I argued the point to no avail, but I *really* had to go. I sat in silence as long as time would permit, but my bladder was young as I was. I stood up promptly and headed out the door anyway. But fate has a sense of humor.

Surely as I headed out the door and about half way there, my bladder control failed me. Now with a pants full load of diarrhea, more then apparent as I checked with my hand, it dripped to the ground in large amounts, I looked on in horror, as half way to the main building, the bell rang. Classes came out of the Temporaries, and people couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I stood there shocked beyond disbelief, and then it got worse, the students came from the main building as well, before I knew it, half the school was standing there dropping their books laughing so hard. It took 3 teachers and a principal to move the students on, and to even get me to move. To this day, I'm 23 and my friends call me to reminisce on that day..

Moral of the story - Never cry wolf, unless you're ready to pay the consequences.

Laura

Being the active young lad I am, for the past 3 years I've been participating in services at church. A few weeks ago I was scheduled for communion service on Sunday morning. Well, about three minutes before I had to go up in front of the entire congregation, I got a NRB (no reason boner). I hurriedly tried to fix it where no one could tell. I inadvertently unzipped the fly to my khaki chinos. This had to be the day I wore the flappiest boxers I own. So when I was walking down the aisle (fly still open, I not knowing) I felt a light breeze down-under and realized that I've flashed everyone, including my father, the minister, unknowingly. As smooth as I could possibly be, I reached down, stuffed my stuff back in and zipped up my pants.

No one had the courage to even talk to me after services.

I had a very embarrassing moment a while back. I was at a gas station/convenience store & there was an elderly lady trying (struggling) to put gas in a van. There was a man in the driver's seat, just sitting there. He was not making any effort to help this elderly lady to put gas in.

I looked over at him & told him, "You should be ashamed not helping her to put the gas in the van."

He looked at me & replied, "Honey, I would be happy to help her if I had any legs." I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I never would have dreamed that was the situation. This poor man had no legs but could still drive, but could not get in & out easily. I could have just died.

When I was in grade 6 or 7 I was on the girls basketball team. I showed up early to a game one night and peeked into the gym before going to change. What luck! The guy I was currently mooning over was already sitting in the stands with a bunch of his friends. I rushed to the locker room and changed into my uniform, then I scampered back to the gym and started practicing. I spent about half an hour doing lay-ups before my older brother called me over to the side of the gym. He looked me in the eye and with a completely straight face said, "Laura, you forgot to put your shorts on"

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It was true, there I was in my long basket ball jersey and pink panties. Every time I jumped up towards the basket, my jersey lifted up and there was my pink clad butt. I was horrified. I rushed back to the locker room, amid the jeers of the audience (I was the original toothpick then) changed clothes and ran home. I would not go to school for two weeks after that, I was soooooo embarrassed. Sigh. Since then, whenever I change my clothes I always check to make sure I've got EVERYTHING on!!

Being the active young lad I am, for the past 3 years I've been participating in services at church. A few weeks ago I was scheduled for communion service on Sunday morning. Well, about three minutes before I had to go up in front of the entire congregation, I got a NRB (no reason boner). I hurriedly tried to fix it where no one could tell. I inadvertently unzipped the fly to my khaki chinos. This had to be the day I wore the flappiest boxers I own. So when I was walking down the aisle (fly still open, I not knowing) I felt a light breeze down-under and realized that I've flashed everyone, including my father, the minister, unknowingly. As smooth as I could possibly be, I reached down, stuffed my stuff back in and zipped up my pants.

No one had the courage to even talk to me after services.

Well, it was that time of the month.

We had to attend a party for my dad's work at a local water park. I had never been swimming before while having that problem, so instead of being smart and using a tampon, I put on a pad.

We got there early and there weren't many people at my favorite water slide so I went and rode it. Soon afterwards, I saw some really fine guys walking by, so I started trying to walk and act sexy. They kept staring at me like I had the plague or something. Then I realized that everyone was - I looked down, and was mortified!

The pad had bunched up in the front part of my swim suit making it look like I was a man. I ran to the bathroom and made my parents bring me home. It was terrible!

Last month my friends and I went to a local jr. high dance. Ricky Martin's "Shake Your Bon-bon" came on and my friends dared me to get up and dance...so I got up and shook my bon-bon around the dance floor..I couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing, so I just laughed it off with them. Later, when I got home I realized that my dog had torn open the garbage and dragged it all over the house, and I sat on a used pad that stuck to my bon-bon.

Last week I was taking a shower to get ready for this date with my boyfriend. When I got out I realized that there were no towels in the bathroom, so I had to go get some out of the closet. Thank goodness I was home alone, or else I would've never came out of the bathroom. I went out to the hallway closet, when I remembered that my mom had just finished the laundry and sure enough, there was the basket of towels right there. I went over to go get one and just as I was leaning over, my little brother and his entire baseball team came running in. They all stopped dead in their tracks and saw me leaning over naked in the hallway. I grabbed a towel and ran to my room as fast as I could. From now on, I'm going to make sure that I have a towel with me when I take a shower.

Well, it was that time of the month.

We had to attend a party for my dad's work at a local water park. I had never been swimming before while having that problem, so instead of being smart and using a tampon, I put on a pad.

We got there early and there weren't many people at my favorite water slide so I went and rode it. Soon afterwards, I saw some really fine guys walking by, so I started trying to walk and act sexy. They kept staring at me like I had the plague or something. Then I realized that everyone was - I looked down, and was mortified!

The pad had bunched up in the front part of my swim suit making it look like I was a man. I ran to the bathroom and made my parents bring me home. It was terrible!

We were doing a school play with me and the hottest guy in the school in the main roles. We were performing in front of 3 different schools, and on this day I had my monthly friend (period). In one of the scenes I had to sit on his knee wearing a white silky skirt. So I did the scene, and when I stood up he looked at his knee and there was a huge blood stain on his knee. I then turned around flashing the back of my skirt to the whole audience which also had a huge blood stain on it. He yelled "Grosssssss! Alicia has her period!", and the whole audience heard. It turned out I forgot to change my pad at Intermission. I turned as red as the stain on his knee and ran off the stage. Unfortunately I was forced to finish the play. My reputation for the last three years at high school was destroyed, and I was known as Clifford the big red blob!

Malory

I was at my 7th grade talent show and just finished singing the song, "You gotta be," by Des'ree. I was sweating like a pig, and sweat was dripping down my legs and down my arms everywhere. So as I turned around to head offstage, everyone in the audience (about 150 people) started laughing. I wondered why, until someone offstage said, "Look at your butt!" I looked, and there was a gigantic brown spot on the back of my shorts, and that wasn't sweat dripping down my legs.

I had just crapped myself in front of everyone in my school!

I didn't go to school for a week!

Ash
(Still Champ!)

Well, it was that time of the month.

We had to attend a party for my dad's work at a local water park. I had never been swimming before while having that problem, so instead of being smart and using a tampon, I put on a pad.

We got there early and there weren't many people at my favorite water slide so I went and rode it. Soon afterwards, I saw some really fine guys walking by, so I started trying to walk and act sexy. They kept staring at me like I had the plague or something. Then I realized that everyone was - I looked down, and was mortified!

The pad had bunched up in the front part of my swim suit making it look like I was a man. I ran to the bathroom and made my parents bring me home. It was terrible!

Colette

All summer I had been looking forward to my end of summer vacation for two weeks at this really swanky hotel (not to mention the major guy action).

Well it was my 2nd day at the resort and I decided to check out the pool and gym and so fourth. I slipped on my sexiest (and barely there) bikini and stepped outa the changing room to strut my stuff. And to my surprise there must have been 6 amazing hot guys in the pool checking me out (yea!, or so I thought). So there I was struttin my stuff and all the guys were like "wow" and whisperin to their friends and so fourth so i slipped into the jacuzzi and threw them a few glances. Now, I admit I am totally a tease so when 3 of them all were coming over to join me in the jacuzi i got out, grabbed my towel and moved my way over into the sauna. I got in and lay my towel down and sat on it and decided to sweat it up. So after about 5 mins I was totally covered in sweat and ready to get out. But then all 6 of the guys came in and sat down and so I said a steamy "hey boys" and they all replied with a "hey". So then we all started to have a conversation for about 20 minutes and I felt like i was going to die of the heat! I was really gettin to like these guys and the good part was there were gonna be there for around 2 weeks as well. Finally I said "I am so totally hot I have got to get out" and they were like "awwwww, don't leave". But I had to so i got up and threw them a huge grin and bent down to pick up my white towel which to my complete horror had been totally stained with my period.

The guy's faces were totally blank and so i just grabbed my towel and ran on outa there (and if that wasn't bad enough i slipped on my way out and landed flat on my face!). For the rest of my 2 week vacation I hid from everyone.

Colleen

A couple of years ago, I was working out at the gym running on the treadmill. I was doing my best to look buff and sexy as there were a number of firefighters working out as well. I was doing alright until I sneezed, which caused me to lose my balance. I hit my head on the instrument panel, flew back, with my butt catching the brunt of the fall on the back end of the treadmill. The treadmill, still being on, shot me off the back with unnecessary force. I slammed into the machine directly in back of me. I contemplated playing possum so nobody would come over to see if I was hurt. But of course, firefighters being the chivalrous gents that they are, came over to help me. Can we say mortification...ah hell, who am I kidding, I got a bunch of firefighters to touch my body.

Ash
(Still Champ!)

Well, it was that time of the month.

We had to attend a party for my dad's work at a local water park. I had never been swimming before while having that problem, so instead of being smart and using a tampon, I put on a pad.

We got there early and there weren't many people at my favorite water slide so I went and rode it. Soon afterwards, I saw some really fine guys walking by, so I started trying to walk and act sexy. They kept staring at me like I had the plague or something. Then I realized that everyone was - I looked down, and was mortified!

The pad had bunched up in the front part of my swim suit making it look like I was a man. I ran to the bathroom and made my parents bring me home. It was terrible!

Marissa

A couple of years ago my husband and I decided to go to a nude beach. We brought our lunch and some drinks in a foam cooler, a real romantic kind of day! We both managed to bare all and have a good time doing it. When the day finally came to an end we went to get dressed and I decided I needed to sit down to put flip flops on -- right on the foam cooler. Needless to say shorts were not yet pulled up, my butt was sitting in about 2 bags of melted ice and legs spread. There were about 20 people sitting around us all which found this quite amusing as they snapped pictures of me in my situation. Well, we ran out of that beach never to return!.

Sarah

About 9 years ago I was grocery shopping at a very crowded and busy Meijers store. It was a warm summer day and I was wearing a peasant style dress to keep cool. It had an elastic neckline that you could pull off your shoulders onto your arms and make it sleeveless. I was standing in front of the meat counter where you could see the butchers through a plate glass window and trying to get anywhere near the hamburger through all the people.

My then 2 year old daughter who was sitting in the cart seat started tugging at the front of my dress, saying mommy, mommy. In an instant both boobs fell right out!! Of course, because it was so hot I didn't have a bra on, and because she wouldn't stop tugging I couldn't get them back in too quickly!! I wanted to die of embarrassment. People were cheering and I think one of the meat guys seriously cut one of his fingers. No one was hiding their laughter.

Needless to say, I didn't shop in that store for years after that.

Ash
(A New Champ!)

Well, it was that time of the month.

We had to attend a party for my dad's work at a local water park. I had never been swimming before while having that problem, so instead of being smart and using a tampon, I put on a pad.

We got there early and there weren't many people at my favorite water slide so I went and rode it. Soon afterwards, I saw some really fine guys walking by, so I started trying to walk and act sexy. They kept staring at me like I had the plague or something. Then I realized that everyone was - I looked down, and was mortified!

The pad had bunched up in the front part of my swim suit making it look like I was a man. I ran to the bathroom and made my parents bring me home. It was terrible!

Crystal

Two years ago, in the grandest theatrical production our small town has ever seen, the inevitable of inevitables happened!!! The play started out normal, for the most part, the occasional mishaps as would go on with any production.

The play was Cinderella, the classic fairytale that everyone knows and loves, but after being a part of, and witnessing the chaos contributed to this production, I don't think anyone would want to have a part in seeing Cinderella again!!!

First off, the lead, Cinderella never showed up, and the understudy was ill. So being one of the 7 dwarfs I was put into the place. First off, trying to get me fit in this size 2 dress didn't work too well. Out on the stage I continued to play the part sweeping the floors, but when I went to get down on the floor to scrub them, my dress ripped right down the back!!!

I stood up, and my foot was on the bottom of my dress, and alas it ripped again!! Struggling to stand up, I toppled off the side of the stage and landed somewhere in between some little kids and 1st row.

Standing up and running around the stage to continue acting, we just started to make things up. Me, in a dress torn to shreds, everyone laughing hysterically at me made it worse. I continued to try to act, and it didn't work. Of embarrassment, I tripped over one of the benches on stage, and landed on my face, also knocking over one of the candles, catching the curtains on fire!!

Completely in ruins, I went to get up, and my dress, showing all that it could possibly show of someone who was still wearing some clothing, "peed my pants" in a matter of speaking, standing there frozen, people kept trying to pulling me off stage. People running frantically to get out, spraying the curtains with fire extinguishers. It had to be one of the most humiliating days of my life. After it was all over, I was questioned by the police and sent home. It was nice enough that it was even shown on our local school television show! To this day I still hear about it!

Dan

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening. I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit. Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth. Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention. All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh. It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Bob

When I was 15 years old, I was in band in high school. One Friday night we were about to take the field for a half-time performance at the home football game (thousands present) when the urge to go the bathroom (number 1) hit me really hard. I said something to the director about it, but he said, "you'll have to wait, we're taking the field now." I knew that if I didn't take the field I would get demerits, so, take the field I did. It was a cold night and most of the band members had worn their street clothes under their uniforms.

I was wearing a pair of levis under my band uniform. As we took the field and started to march, the urge intensified and became a raging pain in my bladder. Finally, I could not resist the urge any longer and began to release the pressure. I did not miss a step of my marching assignment as a strong warm stream of yellow fluid began coursing its way down my leg and out my trousers. The double pants acted like a funnel and a lovely yellow stream began coursing from my leg, into my shoe, and all over the ground. To make matters worse, every time I took a step it was like spraying a hose forward and back, forward and back. When the performance was over I rushed back to the band room, stripped down, dried off the best I could and waited doggedly in the parking lot for my ride home. I quit band the next year.

Crystal
(A New Champ!)

Two years ago, in the grandest theatrical production our small town has ever seen, the inevitable of inevitables happened!!! The play started out normal, for the most part, the occasional mishaps as would go on with any production.

The play was Cinderella, the classic fairytale that everyone knows and loves, but after being a part of, and witnessing the chaos contributed to this production, I don't think anyone would want to have a part in seeing Cinderella again!!!

First off, the lead, Cinderella never showed up, and the understudy was ill. So being one of the 7 dwarfs I was put into the place. First off, trying to get me fit in this size 2 dress didn't work too well. Out on the stage I continued to play the part sweeping the floors, but when I went to get down on the floor to scrub them, my dress ripped right down the back!!!

I stood up, and my foot was on the bottom of my dress, and alas it ripped again!! Struggling to stand up, I toppled off the side of the stage and landed somewhere in between some little kids and 1st row.

Standing up and running around the stage to continue acting, we just started to make things up. Me, in a dress torn to shreds, everyone laughing hysterically at me made it worse. I continued to try to act, and it didn't work. Of embarrassment, I tripped over one of the benches on stage, and landed on my face, also knocking over one of the candles, catching the curtains on fire!!

Completely in ruins, I went to get up, and my dress, showing all that it could possibly show of someone who was still wearing some clothing, "peed my pants" in a matter of speaking, standing there frozen, people kept trying to pulling me off stage. People running frantically to get out, spraying the curtains with fire extinguishers. It had to be one of the most humiliating days of my life. After it was all over, I was questioned by the police and sent home. It was nice enough that it was even shown on our local school television show! To this day I still hear about it!

Dan
(Champ, Again!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening. I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit. Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth. Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention. All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh. It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Jon

One day I was shopping at the mall with my wife, looking at appliances at a large department store. After a few minutes we started to walk away. I thought my wife was still right behind me when I felt a huge gas pain emerging. I kinda looked from side to side and thought no one was around except a mannequin, so I let the loudest, most disgusting fart go, then turned around to see that I was standing there alone. I guess my wife had stopped along the way.

Just then I realized that what I thought was a mannequin was actually a saleslady. By that time, she was talking to some customers. They all stopped talking and just looked at me in disbelief. I was so embarrassed, I bolted outta there and went to find my wife. When I told her what had happened we both laughed till we had tears in our eyes. When I had to walk past that area again to leave, I walked with my coat over my head.

Brandy

When I was in High School I liked this guy Lucas. He was the most popular guy at school and only the cool girls got to hang out with him. We ended up in a Family Preparation Class together (it was a required class). The teacher had to break us up into husbands and wives and of course who did I get to be my husband but Lucas.

One night he had to come over so we could study for a Class Prodject we had to do....I spent at least 3 hours trying to make myself presentable. I heard a knock on the door and my mother let him in. I ran to the laundry room and grabbed a pair of shorts before he saw me and unfortunately he was introduced to my father who was watching a football game, eating greasy chicken wings, scratching himself and breaking wind. I zoomed down the stairs only to find my 3 year old sister waving a Tampon in Lucas's face asking him if he wanted one.

We have now been married 4 years.

Dan
(Still Champ!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening. I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit. Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth. Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention. All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh. It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Rachel

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had to give an oral presentation (about what, I can't remember) in my history class. This class was made up of both sophomores and juniors, and most of the juniors were the cute jocks of the school; varsity football players, basketball players, etc. Oh, and there was this one guy, a baseball player, who was especially hot.) Anyways, we were all kinda friendly, but they considered me as one of the guys (in place of the sexual object I so longed to be.) Since I knew I was going to have to get up in front of the class, I decided to get all dressed up, as if to impress them I guess (maybe make them see that I was a WOMAN). Well, things didn't go so well ... I got up there, I started my presentation, and I got hit with the worst case of fart-gas you can imagine. I was mortified.

They came out in a little burst, just loud enough to hear, and everyone started laughing hysterically, even my teacher (isn't that illegal?) What was I to do? I just smiled, waved my hand in front of my face as if to wave away the smell, and said, "Whew! Excuse me!" I finished my presentation, took my seat, and triedto pretend it didn't happen.

I didn't get asked to go out on any dates, but they always invited me to hang out with them. I guess they respected me after that. (Jocks and farts...go figure.)

Dan 2
(No relation)

I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time, and was feeling rather down and out. My self esteem was at an all time low.

I moped around work until quitting time, and then drove to the local bank for a quick withdrawal of some funds, with the intention of taking myself out to a movie or something. I walked into the bank and chatted for a few seconds with the receptionist, a *very* attractive blonde woman. I have spoken with her before, but she has never paid this much attention to me!

Her eyes were locked on mine, and she seemed to be hanging on my every word! My self esteem rose slightly, and I thought to myself "See, Im still a good-looking guy, girls still find me attractive..."

I then sauntered over the the teller, an extremely cute brunette, and began the process of withdrawing some funds. Once again I was struck by the way she was reacting to my glib banter, her eyes sparkled as she looked at me, and a hint of a flirtatious smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. I made some more witty small talk and took my money and left. As I walked out of the bank, my self esteem went through the roof! "See, I still have a way with women." I told myself reassuringly. It was with a confident swagger that I walked to my car and drove away. Halfway down the block, I decided to check my look in the mirror and preen a little bit. And then I saw it.

A gigantic yellow booger was hanging halfway out of my left nostril! My shame was so great that I only went through the drive-thru from that point on, and have since changed banks. I don't think my self esteem has fully recovered to this day.

Dan
(The Champ!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening. I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit. Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth. Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention. All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh. It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Tom

In grade 8, my class had been doing the whole sex ed week and we were closing in on the last uncomfortable day of the issue. On this particularly interesting day, a woman came in and was explaining the various types of female birth control.

I had always considered myself to have a good stomach for those types of things but some of the pictures were making me sick to my stomach. Added to the sick stomach was the heat of the room in the early June heat and I was wearing a sweater. I thought that there would be no harm in laying my head down and dozing off to end my misery. Little to my knowledge, I passed out instead of dozing off and fell off my chair, on the way down I struck my head on two shelves and started to go into convulsions because of my newly acquired head trauma. I wet my pants in the fray and woke up to see my startled class mates staring slack-jawed at the mess in front of them. When I came to, I got up and sat in silence for the rest of the class with everyone staring at me for the remaining twenty minutes or so. All the time, sitting, in my wet pants.

Kate

The most embarrassing moment of my life was when I was in eighth grade. I went to a private school, and of course we went out for recess after lunch. Well I wore a skirt to school and it was the middle of winter, so I brought a pair of wind pants to wear under them for recess. Well as our teacher was dismissing us I was getting on my pants and a pair of my pink underwear flew out. You see I wore them to swim practice the day before and I forgot to separate my underwear from my pants before my mom washed them. So they flew out in plain sight to see and the whole class saw. They were laughing (well I was too), and I picked them up and everyone was laughing harder. The teacher wanted to know what was going on and asked my what I had in my hand. I showed her and not only that, I had diahrea the other day and I had a big stain on them. The teacher took them and took me to the principal and gave me detention for the rest of the year for showing off my undergarment. So now 6 years from that I find it really funny, and I thought that I should share it with my daughter and husband.

Dan
(The Champ!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening. I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit. Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth. Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention. All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh. It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Angela

A few weeks ago I was shopping around the mall for some new sports bras for a kickboxing class. I took an array of different shapes and sizes and styles of bras into a dressing room at a department store and began to try them all on.

Well, one was too small, and I could barely breathe in it. I started jumping around the dressing room trying to get this constricting article of clothing off when I tripped over my shoe, fell against the dressing room door and to my ultimate horror, watched helplessly as the magnetic door latch popped open and I went flailing out into the open, landing on the floor.

The people that saw me scratched their heads and looked at me quizzically, wondering what happened and trying to control laughter. I didn't feel the pain of a bruised shoulder as I hopped back into my dressing room faster than the speed of light, and I stayed in there for about 10 more minutes, waiting for everyone else to leave before I would make my exit.

What did I learn from this experience? Never to use dressing rooms with magnetic locks.

Ann

I'm from a small town and years (and I mean years) ago when I was a cheerleader, we decided to have our uniforms made. It was like a dress with a body suit worn underneath it, that snapped at the crotch. They didn't make tall body suits at the time, so I had to settle with a small because a medium and large were way too loose around me. My problem was I was tall and the body suit kept on coming unsnapped at the crotch, so I pinned it with two safety pins.

After a few games went by with no mishaps, I figured I was pretty safe. One Friday night, we had a big game against our division rivals. When one of our guys scored a basket each of us would take turns running along the out of bounds area and do a flip, jump, cartwheel, or walk-over celebrating the basket. It was early in the second half and it was my turn to celebrate a basket. I decided to do a round-about. I ran and was in the middle of my first round-about, when all of the sudden my pins sprung and my body suit flew all the way up to my head exposing my undergarments - psychedelic tiger stripes.

The entire game stopped because the opposing player with the ball, was standing right there and dropped the ball. His jaw just about went down to his feet. I just wanted to shrivel up and die! This was a full house! The game stopped and everybody stood up and cheered. I couldn't run fast enough out of the gym. I was so embarrassed, I had to be coaxed out of the girl's room.

To this day, 20 years later, it's still talked about. I was forever known as the psychedelic kid. Very embarrassing!

Dan
(The Champ!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening.

I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit.

Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth.

Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention.

All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh.

It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Angela

A few weeks ago I was shopping around the mall for some new sports bras for a kickboxing class. I took an array of different shapes and sizes and styles of bras into a dressing room at a department store and began to try them all on.

Well, one was too small, and I could barely breathe in it. I started jumping around the dressing room trying to get this constricting article of clothing off when I tripped over my shoe, fell against the dressing room door and to my ultimate horror, watched helplessly as the magnetic door latch popped open and I went flailing out into the open, landing on the floor.

The people that saw me scratched their heads and looked at me quizzically, wondering what happened and trying to control laughter. I didn't feel the pain of a bruised shoulder as I hopped back into my dressing room faster than the speed of light, and I stayed in there for about 10 more minutes, waiting for everyone else to leave before I would make my exit.

What did I learn from this experience? Never to use dressing rooms with magnetic locks.

Ann

I'm from a small town and years (and I mean years) ago when I was a cheerleader, we decided to have our uniforms made. It was like a dress with a body suit worn underneath it, that snapped at the crotch. They didn't make tall body suits at the time, so I had to settle with a small because a medium and large were way too loose around me. My problem was I was tall and the body suit kept on coming unsnapped at the crotch, so I pinned it with two safety pins.

After a few games went by with no mishaps, I figured I was pretty safe. One Friday night, we had a big game against our division rivals. When one of our guys scored a basket each of us would take turns running along the out of bounds area and do a flip, jump, cartwheel, or walk-over celebrating the basket. It was early in the second half and it was my turn to celebrate a basket. I decided to do a round-about. I ran and was in the middle of my first round-about, when all of the sudden my pins sprung and my body suit flew all the way up to my head exposing my undergarments - psychedelic tiger stripes.

The entire game stopped because the opposing player with the ball, was standing right there and dropped the ball. His jaw just about went down to his feet. I just wanted to shrivel up and die! This was a full house! The game stopped and everybody stood up and cheered. I couldn't run fast enough out of the gym. I was so embarrassed, I had to be coaxed out of the girl's room.

To this day, 20 years later, it's still talked about. I was forever known as the psychedelic kid. Very embarrassing!

Dan
(The New Champ!)

About 5 years ago, I was at work. It was the typical day, nothing major happening.

I had a slight stomachache, but didn't think much about it. While out on the production floor, which had about 250 people scurrying around working, I felt a sneeze coming on so I excused myself from the mini-meeting that was going on at one of the inspection stations. As I walked away, the sneeze hit.

Much to my suprise, and that of everyone around me, a big ole wad of well, you know, came squirting out at supersonic speed along with the biggest fart heard on the earth.

Needless to say, the tan pants I had on got the biggest spot imaginable, and it ran all the way down my leg. Because the fart alerted everyone to my direction, I was the center of attention.

All I could do was waddle away, trying to stop from laughing and crying at the same time. The women and men were as embarrassed as I was, but I knew they were trying not to laugh.

It was really embarrassing but funny at the same time. No one said anything about it afterwards but I would give a million to know what was rattling around their heads. All I could hope for was that they had a similar situation at one time or another or thought about the fact that it could happen to them at any moment. Thank goodness we are all human.

Robert

My most embarrassing moment was about 3 weeks ago or so.

It was the second day of school and the first day of gym where we actually did something. Now my school doesn't have a gym (actually we sort of do. It's being built and it should be open in October) so to do gym we all have to walk a few blocks to a park near the school. I hadn't had much to drink that day and it was EXTREMELY hot out.

We had to run a lap around the park, stretch, do 10 push ups then 15 crunchies. After this we were timed to see how many push ups we could do in 2 minutes. I was counting another guy doing push ups and I had been sweating quite a bit.

After about a minute I started feeling very ill. I told the teacher that I thought I was going to throw up. She told me to go sit in the shade until I felt better. As I was walking to some trees I felt my esophagus start to spasm...

What happened next was hell. I started throwing up rather boisterously in front of everyone in the class INCLUDING many girls. I had to sit out the rest of gym.

Needless to say that wasn't a great start to the school year. Luckily I've gotten into it and there was little to no taunting about the situation. Anyway just wanted to share.

Alan

Blinded by love, lust or stupidity, I decided to bolt down the stairs with my rice crispies in tow and proceeded to trip over my feet. What followed next, was a very long, scary spiral into my very own snap, crackle and pop hell. Unfortunately, my juggling skills were useless, as I soon found myself lying on the living room floor looking like the world's largest rice crispy treat. Despite the ill-contained howls of laughter emanating from my parents, I composed myself and proceeded to take my all-important phone call. Quickly taking a deep breath I said, "Hi Debbie, what's up?" She paused for a moment and replied, "I'm fine, but what's with all that static on the line?" As I was about to say I didn't hear anything, it dawned on me ... my face full of crackling crispies was clearly the cause for the static in my love life. We ended up on the phone for two hours and dated for a couple of months thereafter.

So, the moral to this story is: there's no use crying over spilt milk and breakfast is definitely the most important meal of the day!

Valerie

Glenn

At the age of 16, I was sitting on the sofa at my girl's house at the end of a date.

After an indeterminable amount of time, I moved right next to her. What seemed like hours later I got it together to put my arm around her.

After another long interval I finally got up the courage to turn my head to hers and lean in for a kiss.

Rather than an electrifying moment when our lips finally met, I tasted something rough and dry. Too late I realized that the lapel of my jacket had gotten caught between our mouths, and that's what I had kissed!

Athena

Last Valentine's Day at school, I was waiting outside a classroom for a friend when my all-time biggest crush came up.

He held out a Valentine's card to me. I looked at him for a moment before reaching out for the card. He snatched it away and said "Whatcha talkin' about? This is MY card!" and left with his friend laughing.

I was sooo embarrassed.