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Cheet Sheets 1995 August
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CHEET43.ZIP
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2ET2ZORK.TXT
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1995-08-07
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4KB
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94 lines
~Return To Zork
Reviewed By Martin Keen
As R is the 18th letter of the alphabet this article probably appeared
fairly near the bottom of the reviews section. Therefore chances are
you've already read quite a few reviews. I'm willing to bet
that you may be getting a little tired of the usual reviewing
technique by now of descibing a game in long narative passages and
would like to see details about a title portrayed in a different
literate way. Well if you don't you might as well stop reading now
'cos I'm going to do it anyway. The following article is in the form
of a conversation between Bill and his mate Ben who've met down the
pub on a Friday night:
BILL - Alright there mate, what ya having?
BEN - Me usual of course.
BILL - [to bartender] A pint of Fosters, and a Red Hot Banana Vodka
with a hint of tangerine for me mate Ben please
BEN - Cheers mate. Lets go sit over there. That chick with the big
jubblies can't keep her eyes off me...
BILL - Hey Ben, did I tell you about that smart new PC game I bought
yesterday down the car boot sale? Its called Return To Zork.
The bloke sold it to me for a fiver. Brand new he said. Its
not bad either.
BEN - ...Maybe I should go over there and buy her a drink. She looks
pretty desperate.
BILL - Ahem!
BEN - Oh. Yeah. Sorry mate. Return To Zork you say? Funny that, I had
a game on me old Speccy called Zork. Its was a dodgy adventure
game I think. No graphics, only words.
BILL - Yeah, thats right. This is the sequel.
BEN - Never liked it much. All that reading does me head in.
BILL - Well that doesn't matter because this game is full of graphics
and speech. Its really a text adventure with graphics.
BEN - So doesn't that make it a graphic adventure?
BILL - Not really. I've played RTZ for quite a while now and its if
theres a text adventure dying to get out of the multimedia
thrills. And the user interface is overly complex too. I feel
Infocom are relying too much on their old roots and have yet
to fully grasp what makes a proper graphic adventure. There
really is no need for more than a couple of actions like look
and use which need to be implemented in todays user friendly
games. I hope Infocom can correct these errors by learning
from their mistakes when they make the sequel - Zork Nemesis
which is due out in the autumn.
BEN - ?
BILL - You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you.
BEN - They really ARE big jubblies. And she really DOES look
desperate. I'll just have a sip of me drink for a bit of Dutch
courage [gulp, gulp].
[BANG!]
BILL - Err, Ben. Are you alright down there Ben? I think you're only
supposed to *sip* Vodka mate.
BEN - Mrrnnpphh
BILL - Every bloody Friday night you do this to me. Can't take your
Vodka so end up under the table. And I haven't even had the
chance to tell you about the dull Zork storyline or the silly
puzzles. And I didn't get to tell you that despite dodgy
gameplay this title kept me enthralled for hours with all the
characters to met and locations to visit although ultimately
the fun is shortlived and you'll tire of it way before you
complete it. Not that you care. Too busy being sick on my
shoes aren't you? Me misses is getting fed up with cleaning
them.
BEN - Rdddddgggtt
BILL - Mind you that bird does have pretty sizeable jubblies doesn't
she? I think I'll go over and impress her with my knowledge
of the Wing Commander series. Girls just can't resist me
when I tell 'em I know the maximum velocity of the Thunderbolt
Seven.