The Hacker's Encyclopedia 1998

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#!/usr/bin/pud [=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=] .. THiZ Iz IT!@#$@#$!@#$!@#$@#!$@#!$ PossItivl3 The LAST IssuE Of GNuPUD++!@#1@ Ever!@#!@# Trade ON local WaREZ boards!@#!@# WOrTH 3x UploAD kreDIT!@#!##$ HOT waREZ@!#$!@#$@ DooM k0mPatibLE!@#$!@#$ MOre@!#$@#$ AnsI wAreZ Itz ALL!@ . . GGGG N N U U PPPPP U U DDDDD .. G G N N U U P P U U D D ... G NN N U U P P U U D D .... G N N N U U PPPP U U D D + + ... G GGG N N N U U PPP U U D D ... G GG N NN U UU PP U UU D DD .. G GGG N NN U UUU P U UUU D DDD .. GGGGG N NNN UUUUUU P UUUUUU DDDDD . . PuD Volume 4 Issue 1: The Underground Strikes Back. . .. .. "And damn it we are still better than you can ... ever hope to be, honkies." ..... ...... [=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=] In the past all puds began with a supra eleet opening. Usually a qoute and a diskr33t paragraph about what was on mine or nc's mind at the time when we write this dribble out. Bah. I think there is only one small thing can some up what PuD is all about ... a slight paraphrase of NWA. This iz what we feel about all the fuqin honkiez. "Real HOnkiez" Smackola like a hostage yo! you should have covered your mutherfuqin head like a ostr1ge keep it in the dirt cuz u iz a sucker put ur ass up high so I kan kick da motherfuqer dont try to hang ur little ballz cuz I'll put my foot so far up ur ass u'll get hemoroidz when you try to fuq with Roast I'll put 2 in ur ass and u will be shittin old toast Firzt come, firzt serve who everz got da nerve step up and get what u deserve from da word of a motherfuqin hip hop maniac, braniac so what u oughta do iz step da fuq back Now how long did u think ur tfile would last wit ur ass putting out wack shit that pazz Yo, be original ur shit iz sloppy get off da dick u motherfuqin carbon copy following da wordz, with many a stylez iz one of the reasons a honkey went 100 milez cheatin, and now beatin da crowd, I kept seein and weak motherfuqerz bitin off and dey kept eatin stylez, that kept em on da floor cuz da fuqerz were on warez boardz not gettin paid in full aint got da nerve to cuzz only reason honkiez picked up ur tfile, cuz dey thought was uz yo killin what I gotta kill, doing what I gotta do u dont care for me so who givez a fuq about u? u kant harm me, alarm me cuz were the generals in dis fuqin tf1le army the pizza underground, if u didnt know we blow 'Flo' n didnt move slow from da get go yo stylez we takin yo fuq dis shit mooga kick da breakin u kan run but u kant hide, u know were going to find ya cuz a group like pud iz onl3 2 stepz behind ya dont look bak cuz ur shakin and all skared some honkiez in plaid can be ur skariest nightmare So sleep wit da lightz on forget dat da fight iz on dont step on my motherfuqin style when u write somethin dont say were psycho, and den u just might go mentally fuqed up wit, when I let da writin flow All theze honkiez with a jibber-jabber but couldnt kill a fly wit a motherfuqin sledge hammer honkiez in plaid are out der but only becuz, yo, itz da shit we wear on my sisterfuqin dik but I am gonna luv it when u drop like a motherfuqin brick so yo step off go to bed, cuz if ur mislead u get a motherfuqin bullet in ur 4head White, the good, da bad, da ugly see a little streewize honkie u know me rollin wit some real honkiez playing for keepz but u motherfuqerz gno who run da streetz wit dat hard core tfile-ass shit Now how much harder kan another honkie git Try to be like uz, write like uz, drezz like uz ashes to ashes, bust to bust so honkie honkie honkie honkie honkie honkie pleaze since ur on da dik why dont u drop to ur kneez cuz Im a tfile reject datz out to kill NC, a honkie datz real Real honkiez, straight out da streets of alabama quick be gettin ur shit without a second thought and if ur ass get smoked itz my bullet u caught so if ur talkin shit about the honkiez in plaid bow down to the ford and da chevy hatz [...] ### ### Mail ### Again in the once proud PuD tradition mail from a faithfull PuD favorite. The one, the only: From: John McAffee To: Baphomet my once proud love Dear Mister King: Baphomet where have you gone? It has been months since I have heard from you. Or for that matter your strong group of followers who used to bury things in my yard. Alas it has also been long since you have made a pass at my wife or even a lude remark about my busty young daughter who is maturing rather nicely. Mister King what happened? We used to be in constant contact. While I admit at first your mail bothered me, hell it made me want to rape, maim then kill you. The dead animals in my yard? Yes, yes they bothered me greatly but you should have seen my grass the next year. Man I was the envy of all my neighbors and if it hadn't been for the smell I would surely have been the toast of the whole block! But I digress...Mister King as much as I hate to admit it I sorta miss your mail...hell why lie know? Mister King I love you damn it. I refuse to lie any longer. I kept all those damn naked pictures you sent my wife and the videos too. I cherish them. I masturbate quite frequently to them. Why hide it any more. I JOHN MCAFFEE AM GAY. And I am not in the least bit afraid to admit it. Screw my wife [not litterly]. I want you. And ONLY you [well maybe my daughter too]. Baph come back to me together we can experience a love like no two men have ever felt before. We can get a little log cabin high up in the mountains and sit and write pathetic virus scanners on a tandy full multi-media system...ahh life would be oh so very wonderful...Baph please reply my life is so, so, so pointless without your hot ramming love. Come back... Waiting forever, John McAffee ### ### SnAcKMaZTeR TheIvIng by the BLT. ### Lesson 16. In the past I the most incredible thief in the world have told you how to steal various household appliances. Such as toasters and, yes, even toaster ovens. But what if you want to remain a thief who is up on the times, a thief that is full, one who is in vogue? Well the times are a changing but so is the modern toaster thief. I am sure you have all seen the wonderous god inspiring snackmaster commercials that have been coming on tv in the past few months. The snackmaster. It makes pies, snacks, and even meals. Take some bread slap it in and put some crap in between it then just let it cook. Ahhh nourishment. Now take your hands out of your crotch we got thievary to think about now. Now how, how, how, you ask does one steal one of these things? It is now common knowledge that the snackmaster can be bought at your local wal-mart or k-mart but lets be honest. They suck. Obviously inferior and it is often rumoured that they cause male impotence; something a modern toaster thief can do without. So how do you steal one from tv? Well it involves an old technique called 'carding'. 'Carding' is where one 'borrows' someone's credit card number and uses it to purchase items. A popular use of these numbers especially among 14 year old phreakers who try hard to impress all their friends is 1900 numbers but that in itself is a whole other lesson. So how does one get these credit card numbers? There are two methods of which I prefer the second. The first method is called social engineering. It is where you try to weazle the information out of someone usually over the telephone. This method simple invloves calling someone from your home phone and trying to get them to divulge a little information. Now I have heard rumours that say it is not good to call from your home phone. THOSE ARE COMPLETE LIES. As long as you hit the flash button 3times before you make a call the phone company can not trace your call! It is really good to use this technique to prank call the police and fire stations. Anyways back to the phone social enigineering. Below are a few examples: [click, click, click, dial] "Uhh hello..??" "Mr Goggins?" "Uhh yeah ... what do you want ... it is 3 am?" "Mr Goggins we have your daughter if you dont give us your credit card number we will kill her and return her to you in small boxes." "... I dont have a daughter" "Uhhh I meant your son." "... I am single ..." "Your cat?" "nope" "Dog?" "Nada" "Mr Goggins we know where you live, we will come and rape you." "Are you male?" "Uhhh yes." "Cool. I will be waiting." [click] As you can see the above exmaple failed. Why? Because you were not direct enough. Be direct it works. [click, click, click, dial] "....mmm hello..." "Mr Goggins?" "Look what the hell do you want this time?!?!" [click] Never call the same number again. Redial is your enemy. [click, click, click, dial] "hello?" "Mrs. Bunny?" "Yes this is Mrs. Bunny." "Mrs Bunny I am from the [insert local credit place]. We are calling to confirm some information we have on you, is your chest size in fact 33d?" "Uhhh...no it is not." "It isn't? Gosh is your social security number xxx-xx-xxxx?" "No." "Wow, it looks like our records are really bad so your mastercard number is not xxxxxxxxxxxx is it?" "No it is xxxxxxxxxxxxx." "Thank you very much Mrs. Bunny" [click] The above example workz every time!@#@ I have used it to get 5787685 credit card numbers. It is divinity itself. Now on to the second way of getting credit card numbers. It is the way I prefer because it is simply much more direct and it even gets you a drop off site for all the neeto snackmasters you order. This plan can be considered much more difficult than the first one. Method 2. First stake out a well to do house. Make sure there are people home, as matter of fact make sure ALL family members are home. I find that affluent white streets are best for this. Why? Because you also get the personal satisfaction of gaking some damn whiteyz. Now you need to gather a large assortment of weapons, I prefer akia'z and glock-9's. Simply go into the house late at night and begin to blow the hell out of sleeping whiteyz. When they are all dead comb the house for credit cards. When you find them go downstairs and order your snackmasters with the address of the house you are at. Now all you have to do is wate for them to be brought to the house. Simple as pie. And since you ordered from thier phone it is almost untracable. Hell eat some food while you are there I doubt the homeowners will mind. Enjoy your stay. But most of all enjoy your new snackmaster. Life is good. ### ### Poetry. Oh My. ### * BaPh Th3 UnDaUnTeD P03T A lot of people think of me as nothing more than a flat hate-monger who joys in the ruder and more crass things in life. While mostly true there is also a much deeper side to me. One that very few get to experience and what is that side? My poetic genius. Not to deprave your morons any more here is a sampler of what will be in my new book coming soon, _Poets_Are_Not_All_Fagz_. ----- 87/200: 3 minute poemz Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 I wrote this on the bus while some old guy felt up me. "Love" Oh my oh man My how masculan When u touch me there Oh so near my pubic hair I wonder if I can cantrol These feelings in my asshole Oh gee oh may will u eat my chocalate "wizway" Oh gee my plight hey wait a second your white Get the fuck away from me! ----- 91/200: crap Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 crap krap crappity krappity crap krap krap ----- 98/200: Counting. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Counting - a product endorsement. One Two Three Four Five Six Drink Pepsi Seven Eight Ten Nine It makes you stupid. ----- 102/200: Money. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Bob had a dollar Bob was rich in his own way ----- 113/200: Velcro. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 John was a tragic man. His wife died when he was 37. Who knows if she went to heaven? Bob had a dollar. Bab was rich in his own way John had no velcro they got together now both are happy velcro ----- 115/200: Death. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Joy Laughter Smiles Sun Opposite ----- 122/200: Mouse. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Mouse Squeek Eeek Squash Death ----- 135/200: Bob's story. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Bob was born an only child. Bob died some 67 years later. There is nothing important to tell. For Bob was like most people, wasted opportunities and a wasted life. ----- 147/200: Death of a Used Tile Salesman. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 *BANG* ----- [ Here is a contribution that was deemed worthy of PuD] 157/200: an elite poem. Name: Necrocixelsyd #26 @2 d00d. it was c00l when I haked that sistem it won't be l@me agin. Necrocixelsyd ----- 171/200: CreATiVE WriTInG Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Blam bloom blamp The old man busted the hell out of the tramp She cried, like a good tramp should He pried at her soul just because he could. She was morally bankrupt, he was rich being despair Every so slowly they became a pair He payed her money she did him it was all quite funny they made a move about him "pretty" llama walkin down the street "pretty" llama the kind I would to eat your mu bonita, and pretty too Nobody stir fries like you do... [Parts sorta stolen from pud_1_14] ----- 185/200: A ditch Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Dont dig a dictch Your brother is my bitch. This may be offensive. So go kill your self. ----- 189/200: krap Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 I love you you love me lets make one big happy family I get the young daughters you get the sons together well have sex with the young-uns ----- 194/200: Death is a many colored whore. Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2 Blue Green Violet Whore Red Velvet Death Black Gray Purity is evil DIE YOU WHITE HONKEY SKUM ----- ### ### Another, yes quit whining, history of PuD. ### [ This is the real and honest truth behind all of PuD as best as I can remember it. -baph ] It was a rainy stormy night. The wind was high. And the stench of sweaty llamas was high in the air. Kerry looked over his proud llama lover and thought how wonderful the world was; what bliss he was in; life was good. Kerry was happy. He tipped his straw hat and set off to make him and his queen llama some pizze. Kerry didn't know. The llama was pregnant. Kerry worked hard on his pizze, "It was good and cheap!" all the while not hearing the pitter patter of little feds coming to take him away. The windows burst open and the walls came tumbling down. The feds had him. He time was up. The pizza layed there...unfinished...uncooked...waiting. And so it was for 4 years. Until kerry's own son, mc-llamashoniquea found the pizza in it's pathetic state. He ate it. He got gas and died. At that same time I was born. In a small hospital in Finland. Fuck, everyone knew I was elite from the second I was out of the womb. Maybe it was my constant uttering of "du0d@$!@#$" or the way I slapped the hell out of the doctor when he touched me in that special place. I lived a happy peacefull live in Finland hiding away with my new found llama love, Teka. Pure llamarian divinity. God she ruled. Somewhere along here NC was born...I think in the back of a chevy although it may have been a buick, but he dies later on so who really cares right? Anyways after being deported from Finland I found myself stuck in the ultra layme state of Alabama where I cried and sighed about losing my love Teka. They shot her and ate her. I would later kill those damn honkies but that is another story in itself. So here I was in the ultra layme capital of the south when I thought "Jesus I rewl; I am just so much better than everyone else here." So I set out about proving it. I thought maybe I could accomplish this at first by showing love and attention on young tennis girls...err.uhhhh..yhea that almost worked. Then I met NC. He was like slapping this old lady around one day outside the mall. I, being the most noble gentleman intervened. NC quickly explained "ThE BItCH OweZ My monEY". So of course I had to jump in and help my fellow capitalist. We beat that old lady down hard. She cried and even had the nerve to bleed on my damn shoes. That alone cost her four teeth. Me and NC hooked up later on when we were taking shots at school kids on a playground. NC was a damn good shot. He could nail a kid out of a slam-dunk everytime. I found it was much easier to shoot them after they fell on the ground covering their heads. About this time we met fred. We were robbing a local "Lee's chicken" and kidnapping HigHHAirED h0'z went this rather fat greasy nasty guy came up to us. With his first phrase, "Du0dZ I gOT some Y for SaLE" We knew he was elite. Fred got in the car with us dragging his "daughter" along. We were living life high and fast. Then the unthinkable happened. Nc got gakked. In the back ... but hey he was like holding out on 5 dollars he owed me. So I shot the damn bastard. Err uhhh yhea that's the story of PuD. ### ### Tis the season to kill white ass fat men...err no that was last season. ### * Santa Loves Me. By: BApHoM3T ThE MiGHtY SaNTA SLaY3R It was a cold december night when I found out that santa loved me. The supra eleet local PuD du0dz and I were out commiting our usual allotment of k-spiffy ultra clean felonies when we happened to come across an incredible amount of Christmas displays. To be perfectly honest like the holiday all the displays sucked. But off in the far corner of this one porch stood an object that made up for this morbid world. A 4 foot tall santa. But not just any santa, a santa who stood proudly lighted with the warmth of human love and tenderness. At once we realized that this abomination must be destroyed. "Du0D EyE Th1Nk W3 ShOuLd FuCKiN RaP3 SaNta," fred quickly said. "Bah," I said as I began to beat the hell out of him. We were quickly yanked apart by No Courier [well his ghost anywayz]. Kolbert Kid sat in the front dazed and confused as usual obviously thinking about the pink sweltery skin of his younger sister. "0K Du0D DoEz SaNTa RuN A WaREz BoARD? CuZ..." fred began but was promptly cut off as me and NC started to beat him. I wondered t myself how fReD kept getting out of jail but what the hell it wasn't our fault. After a few minutes we tired of beating on FrEd as he had passed out. We sat and pondered a way to liberate this most noble santa from the evil dungeon in which it was trapped. "MosQueZ must be white," NC stated. "Damn FuCKiN HonkEyZ," I added. "uhhh NO COMMENT uhhh," suggested Kolbert Kid. Sizeing up the porch we figured no more than 3 people would have to loose thier lifes for our liberation of the santa. NC broke out his 9 while fReD checked the AK. fReD began to chant his usual phrase as he licked his ak47 up and down... "A to the K to the 4 to the 7 little honkeyz don't go to HeaV3n." Fuck fReD was sick, how we ever got hooked up with him. KoLBeRT KiD drove the car up into the yard as the cv joints on his car screeched. The doors flung open as we launched out of the car ready in our hour of liberation. They cry of "PuD" echoed out from all of us. FrEd launched his fat ass through the the front window and NC starting shooting into the dining room at the unsuspecting home owners. I lept over a fence and stumbled onto the porch. The sounds of returned gunfire echoed high in the air as a little kid in the house pulled out a colt and started shooting at NC. Stupid kid. FrED rounded the corner from the living room into the dining room and with a quick "ratta-tat-tat" all those damn honkeyz were on their backs. I unplugged the santa as NC grabbed him by the neck. We were off. And santa was free. Santa rode in the back with me and fReD as NC emptied his few remaining shots into some old people who were out walking. The night was young but santa's hours were numberd. [To Be continued or Not] ### ### Submitted Stuph. ### Has been cut out because I didn't feel like including it. Woop woop playing god n stuph. Like damn I fuqin rewl. ### ### /usr/bin/more ~/poetry ### * Mooga VI [Mooga gets a pimp] Slap, whap went the sound of the pimps hand Mooga pondered her stupidty As the pimp smacked her again If she hadnt been so upset at her own infertility She remembered the days of old swimming in the sea She remembered being old and her once wonderous divinity But now she was fat Like a whale should be About herself? she didnt give a crap To make money? "A pimp is the only way for me" Being a whore and a whale mooga found out was rather tough no longer was she free to sail the seas and the waves which were rough Her life was bleak Her only thoughts meak Jesus this really sucks god damn do I need to fuck A cow. ### ### Closing of all. ### This pud is over. Suprise! If you would like to get in touch with any of the once great pud people then all you have to do is get a fuqin life. We don't want to talk to you; hear from you; even know that pathetic vermin like you exist. [q] Where can I ftp pud? Unfortunatly there are still places that choose to waste disk space with this dribble. If you would like a list of them then send mail to root@prodigy.com Subject: XXX-GIRLS-under-11-pud-list. They will thank you for it. --- PuD is now over. We are still the best. You still suck. And you guess it? I fuqin rewl. -- Unless you are born in finland you can't be finnish.