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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- In Response
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-
- In response to Mr. "chick-flick" hater...
-
- Coming from the other end of the pasture, I can sympathize with the plight
- of the expectations suddenly encountered with the sappy love stories and
- romantic storylines. While women suffer from more or less the same type of
- unrealistic expectations of a different nature, I will first explain to a
- lesser degree of the reasoning behind the meet-me-at-the-top-of-the-Empire
- State-building type of psychology.
-
- As with anything, girls are socialized into the role-playing type of
- pretending at an early age. Guys, were you ever asked to play "house" as a
- child? (I'd talk about the "doctor-nurse roles, but what they evolved into
- later in life has no bearing on the innocence of children). Girls played
- with dolls, Barbies, and other pink frilly-boxed toys.
-
- Girls were taught by this role-playing to dream or fantasize about the
- future. Children's stories emphasize this. Remember Cinderella and her
- Prince Charming who went to every household in the land to find his true
- love, or Snow White under the evil of the stepmother? What other
- role-models did little girls have to place their attentions on?
-
- Where do you think expectations begin for the importance that is placed on
- the nature of a spontaneous, unique marriage proposal? Believe me, every
- possible romantic outcome was at least touched upon and dreamed about.
- Even the wedding day has been fantasized about from an early age. I
- understand that it doesn't hold the same importance to men as you were all
- blowing up G.I. Joe men and chasing ships with Star Wars figures while most
- girls dressed their Barbies and had Ken take them out on their dream dates
- (and I do stress most girls, as I personally hated Barbies and owned only
- the one that a hapless relative happened to give me for a birthday or
- something like that). It is a time in our lives that has been formed from
- the early stages of a girls childhood.
-
- So rest assured, my dear men, that the "look" you get when viewing a
- "chick-flick" with your girlfriend may have nothing to do with you
- personally, but stems from the hundreds of Disney movies watched and fairy
- tales bought as a child. I am certain the "chick-flick" has as much
- reception from men as the silly love songs played on the radio (how many of
- you men out there really hate Chicago and Journey simply for this reason?)
-
- Now that I have brushed upon why these feelings are developed, I do want to
- agree to some extent with my little "chick-flick" hater that romance
- comedies and sappy love stories are somewhat unrealistic. Learned well
- into the psychology 101 semester, these stories only tell the beginning of
- these romantic, hot-to-trot couples. Nothing is said about two years down
- the line, or six months, or even the following week. As heartfelt as the
- ending of "Pretty Women" was and the "hooker-with-the-heart-of-gold"
- routine, (and speaking about this movie because it was previously
- mentioned), doesn't anyone think that because she was a hooker, it won't
- cause any problems for the millionaire and the socialites that he
- identifies with? Or that she will put up with his pretentious friends and
- actually enjoy the snobby crowd? Possibly, but both extremes simply showed
- a need to escape from the present situation (even Bill Gates has to get
- tired of the same routine over and over again). So as unrealistic as it
- may seem, not altogether impossible.
-
- Romance, however, doesn't have to include rooms of roses, or helicopter
- rides, or having your sailboat in the middle of a New York street.
- Something simple and unexpected is all that is realistically desired. It's
- where we women suddenly become an obligation to fulfill that puts us on the
- defensive. "Oh, I took you out last week for an expensive dinner, so why
- should I give you a hug today?" or "I guess since it is your birthday, I
- should probably take you out." We don't want to feel like what you have to
- offer us is out of settling, finality or obligation. We also like to be
- reminded often that these things haven't changed.
-
- Women thrive on the smallest, most insignificant gestures that say to us
- that you are thinking about us. Not much effort is required to walk into a
- jewelry store and pick up the first thing in sight, but a little note to
- say "I love you" or an unexpected kiss, or a walk around the block can be
- enough to keep us satisfied without you men feeling "required" to be any
- certain way.
-
- Also, what are the major components involved within a major romance movie
- anyhow? Pursuit above all other women to prove interest, attentiveness to
- show the interest is maintained, and connectedness to show there is no fear
- of commitment. If your woman is asking "why don't you do this for me?",
- then there is probably a reason why. As I've said before, it doesn't take
- much to show your lady that she is important to you. Plus, the less
- importance shown to us as to where we are in our man's life, the more
- important these sappy-lovey dovey-romance movies have on our lives.
-
- Something simple that is guaranteed to receive a response and is NEVER said
- often enough is the words, "you are beautiful". Not "you look nice," or
- "you look good," or "you are pretty," but "you are beautiful". There is
- not much more that will receive as big a response, even if she is hesitant
- to receive the compliment.
-
- Even so, as painful as the standard is for men to act romantic and go above
- and beyond the call of duty for their significant other, the standard for
- women is much higher (even excluding the emotional circumference and
- insecurities women already endure). While men are expected to behave
- romantically, women are expected to look romantic at all senses.
-
- Men, we know as well as you do that for the most of us, when we go into the
- dressing room of Victoria's Secret, we do not suddenly turn into Stephanie
- Seymore or Frederique. It is just not possible (as much as many of you
- would like it to be). Somehow the garter just doesn't fit as well as the
- model, or the bustier is a little too tight. For some women, there is
- nothing to fit into the bustier that will make them look like the picture
- in the catalogue.
-
- It wouldn't be as bad, except for the fact that now women have a standard
- to fill about looking like the model in the ad. We don't. We know it.
-
- It doesn't help that you men spend so much time looking at these models,
- whether it be in the catalogue, in a music video, on the big screen or live
- at the strip bars. Even general casual conversation typically involves
- some part of a woman's anatomy. We now feel that you all have visions of
- Cindy Crawford or Jennie McCarthy running through your minds (or the
- pictures strapped to your face) while you make love to us "common folk".
- We also don't have the luxury of airbrushing and computer graphics in bed
- to hide our little imperfections. And this is not supposed to make us
- insecure?
-
- I will mention this again for emphasis sake: little things make the world
- of difference.
-
- - spyder
-
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