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- ╔═══════════════════════╗
- ║The Plain Pine Box ║
- ║(How to end up IN one) ║
- ║ ║
- ║by ║
- ║ ║
- ║Corsaro Cancellari ║
- ║January 1991 ║
- ╚═══════════════════════╝
-
-
- Well pholks with all the stupid things some phreaks are doing these days
- (mainly PHARM members), I thought I should write this phile.
-
- There are several ways you can end up in a plain pine box (aka - COFFIN)
- and if youtake most box plans seriously, it's quite simple.
-
- Here are a few ways:
-
- 1. Beagan box frequently. Eventually, someone will hear you fucking
- around late at night hooking it up to his box. He'll use you to repaint
- his house. (With the aid of a 12-gauge shotgun that is.)
-
- 2. Build a Blotto Box. After you're done, make sure the voltage is high
- enough using this method: Stand in a puddle of water, then touch your
- tongue to the leads while the generator is turned on. If you're still
- alive, find a source of higher voltage.
-
- 3. Use Blue Box tones to call PacBell customer service (or GTE, AT&T...), and
- when the Gestapo shows up at your door (within 15 seconds by my estimate),
- punch one of them in the mouth.
-
- 4. Hack into the main system at NORAD. (Actually getting in isn't required,
- they'll get pissed if you even call it). The CIA should be at your door
- in a few seconds, and before you know it, they'll be standing behind you.
- They'll probably ask you why you wwre connected to the system. Use this
- reply: "Well dicksucker, some guy named Saddam Hussein said that if I
- called this number and got some info, he'd give me some marijuana.".
- They will no doubt convert you to swiss cheese before you finish the
- second syllable of "Hussein".
-
-
- There are many methods to get your very own Plain Pine Box and I don't
- have time to list them all, but I hope this sheds some light on the
- subject.
-
- p.s. - Here's one for you anarchist studs out there:
-
- Materials:
-
- 2 Gallons of Premium Unleaded Gasoline - 92 Octane or higher. (Av-Gas if you
- can get it)
-
- 2 containers of Drano.
-
- This will create an EXTREMELY dangerous explosive that will explode when
- even a small amount of heat or electric charge is applied to it. Mix the
- Gasoline and the Drano carefully and store in a metal container in a cool,
- dry place until ready for use. Have a BLAST!.
-
-
-
- Still another public service announcement from...
-
- ┌──────────────────┐
- │Corsaro Cancellari│
- │'91 │
- └──────────────────┘