The Hacker's Encyclopedia 1998

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@@@@@@@@@@ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx @@@@@@@@@@ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$ xxxxxx $$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ FROM NEW YORK STATE, U. S. A. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ - June, 1993 - $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@ xxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$ SCAM! MAGAZINE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$ VOL 1 * NO 1 xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx $$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx $$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ YOUR TRUE ON-LINE SCAM SOURCE! $$$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx $$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx $$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$ SCAM! is xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx @@@@@@@@@@ published by xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx @@@@@@@@@@ THE PRODUCER xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- VOL 1 NO 1 SCAM! MAGAZINE June 1993 FREE ONLINE! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LEGALITIES AND DISCLAIMER "SCAM!" MAGAZINE is published solely for informational and entertainment purposes. The publishers and authors in no way wish to encourage or promote unlawful and/or criminal activities of any nature or sort, but merely wish to furnish the materials contained herein in accordance with the practices and policies established by the IIRG and pursuant to the Freedom of Information Act. Local, State and Federal laws provide severe civil and criminal penalties for unlawful and/or criminal activity which may include fines and/ or imprisonment. The publisher and authors absolve themselves from all actions, direct or indirect, consequential or inconsequential, resulting from the readers of this publication. SEE, READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL WARNINGS CONTAINED HEREIN. THIS MAGAZINE IS AVAILABLE FOR AND ONLY TO BE READ BY PERSONS OVER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS. ARTICLES IN THIS ISSUE 1. "SCAM!", the Latest Magazine by The Producer 2. Turn Stamps into Cash! by The Producer ____________________________________________________________________________ "SCAM!": THE LATEST MAGAZINE! by The Producer You've read them all -- on-line magazines purporting to solve the world's problems, offering you the "latest" techniques in pulling a fast one, etc. Only problem is, the guy who's telling you how to solve the world's problems is having a problem paying his rent, and his "latest" techniques were probably developed and tested while watching "Sonny & Cher" on CBS. Fed up, I was, reading these antiquated, useless offerings. The time has come, I cried, to at last furnish the outside world with something new, something refreshing. Sure, I can't solve the world's problems (and wouldn't want to even if I could; I seek wealth, not fame), and sure, I can't come up with some of those complex configurations and schematics like others have done. Yet, how about offering some very simple, basic suggestions -- for purely informational purposes only -- to those friendly BBSers? That's when the idea came: "SCAM!", a fresh magazine not purporting to offer mind-blowing philosophies, not purporting to change your life from rags to riches, but merely offering foolproof and proven tips and tricks which are generally simple to understand, simple to implement, easy to use and fun to try -- I mean, fun to read about. Anyway, unlike other on-liner mags who give the glory and the beauty, read a few issues of "SCAM!" and you just might find yourself doing better off here than with those glamour guys. Please enjoy "SCAM!" and pass it along to others, as the information contained in "SCAM!" is for the millions to know. Post-Script: What if, I thought, you are downloading this sometime in the year 1997 or 1998 and, being that this issue is brand new as of 1993, just read my whole speech about magazines being obsolete? Well, that's your fault, babe -- you should have been smart enough to know where to find this magazine back in 1993! If you weren't, what the hell can I do about it??!! Anyway, chances are most of what you'll find in "SCAM!" will be just as applicable now in 1993 as it will be in the next five or six years, maybe more. There are so many fools in the country that it will likely take quite some time for them to "get wise" to some of the "SCAMs" in "SCAM!" _____________________________________________________________________________ TURN STAMPS INTO CASH! by The Producer June, 1993. -- Though the rewards are generally minimal, this little scheme can, if really done properly, generate thousands of dollars in extra income just in your spare time. Generally, people think of stamps as something to lick and paste on envelopes. However, these small square beauties can be obtained and converted into cash easier than you thought. First we will discuss how to obtain small quantities of stamps and turn them into cash. Then, implementing this technique, the discussion shall transcend into larger quantities of stamps and higher post-conversion revenues. Getting Small Quantities of Stamps The best place to find small quantities of stamps is where you work. Even if your employer uses a Pitney Bowes machine (that's the little gizmo that imprints in pink the precise amount of the stamp directly on the right upper corner of the envelope), chances are that he or she STILL has need for regular stamps. Why? First, they're useful to mail out "self-addressed stamped envelopes" to business clients, because the Pitney Bowes inkstamps must have a date pre-written on them and there's no sure way of knowing on what day the clients will return that envelope. Second, they're a necessity if the Pitney Bowes malfunctions, or if letters are needed to be mailed at a time the Pitney Bowes is being brought to the post office for overhaul or postage add-on. Third, most employers are older and, since you "can't teach an old dog new tricks", rely on having stamps just because that's what they're used to relying on. For whatever the reason, these stamps are most likely available where you work. Take the time to subtly question fellow employees as to the whereabouts of the stamps, if you do not already know where they are. When the opportunity arises, do the necessary and remove them from their whereabouts, casually tucking them inside your shirt sleeve or jeans pocket, and bring them home with you. Your employer will never know they're missing if you remember one thing: *** SCAM RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG!! *** This is EVER so important, and this rule will be quoted many more times in "SCAM!" One of the most important keys to not being discovered is to not be greedy. If you want it all, you'll wind up with nothing. The successful takers are those who take 75% and leave 25% behind. Thus, should you find $100 worth of stamps in someone's drawer, leave $25.00 and take $75.00. The 75-25 rule, by the way, is a good one to generally go by. Now, you're saying, "what if I only find $10.00 worth of stamps, what then? Is all this shit worth it for just $10.00?" No, of course it's not! What you must then do is go directly to your employer and tell your employer, "Did you know we only have $10.00 worth of stamps left in the whole office? We'd better get some more, fast!" Believe me, it won't take long for your employer to get more in. You might also suggest volunteering to go to the post office on your lunchhour to pick some more stamps up, taking a business check with you to do it (we'll discuss more on that later -- be patient!) Whether your employer gets more stamps himself, sends someone else to the post office to get them or sends you (the last being the most ideal situation), either way you'll soon have most likely at least $100 worth of stamps for the taking. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION: *** Find friends who have access to stamps where they work, and tell them you can get them 50 cents for every dollar's worth of stamps they get you. Most persons will jump at that offer, and you can obtain slightly larger quantities that way. NOTE: First try doing this whole thing on your own, alone, until you get the hang of it and feel comfortable. You've Got the Stamps, Now What? Now, you're pretty much home free with easy cash in your pocket, that's what!! Here's the deal: You sell them back to the post office. The U. S. Post Office currently has a regulation that prohibits acceptance of loose stamps, for health reasons. The theory is that the original purchaser of the stamps might have placed their tongue on them, or placed the stamps in some unsanitary area. That being the case, the stamps being returned would then be headed for re-sale and would pose a "health risk" to potential buyers. Somewhat farfetched, I know, but that IS the law. The loophole is this: the Post Office CAN, however, accept for refund stamps that are in a SEALED CONTAINER. Have you ever gone to the post office to buy 29- cent stamps in a roll of 100? You will note that these stamp rolls are sealed in plastic. Were you to purchase a roll of 100 stamps for $29.00 and go back to the post office saying you really didn't need it and could you get the money back, since the stamps were in a sealed container they WILL give you back $29.00 in cash for the roll. This loophole is very important, and is the crux of how to turn stamps back into cash. The loophole, however, is a generally objective one; that is, the post office is compelled by law to conform with these Federal regulations, but doesn't always. The post office is afforded a great deal of lattitude even though the regulations very specifically state what to do and what not to do. Here is a brief summary of what is meant by this: 1. The post office will GENERALLY take back stamps in sealed, plastic containers for refund. 2. The post office will GENERALLY refund you the full face value of the returned, sealed stamps. 3. The post office is NOT OBLIGATED BY LAW to take back stamps in sealed, plastic containers for refund. 4. The post office is NOT OBLIGATED BY LAW to refund you for ANY stamps at ANY time. 5. The post office will almost NEVER refund you cash for ANY stamps that are not in sealed containers. Changing Loose Stamps into Sealed Rolls The only slightly irritating part in this -- and it's not hard, it only requires you making about 15-20 telephone calls or so: Find a post office that will convert the loose stamps you have into sealed rolls of 29- cent stamps. Remember, you can ONLY get refunds on sealed stamps and, to the author's knowledge, the only stamps that are sealed are 29-cent stamps. Thus, regardless what denomination stamps you have, be they 23-cent stamps, 2-cent stamps or $1-stamps, you must try to convert them all into 29-cent stamps, preferably 29-cent sealed rolls. The sealed rolls come in quantities of 100 and 500, costing $29.00 and $145.00 respectively at the post office window. By trial and error -- and believe me, this is NOT difficult --you must call post offices and say the following: "Excuse me, but I have about ($50.00 worth of 23-cent stamps) and they're really useless to me. I need 29-cent stamps. Could I possibly come down sometime tomorrow afternoon and could you exchange them for me?" Mention nothing about rolls, sealed or unsealed. Generally, you will hear something like the following: "I'm sorry, but by Federal law we are prohibited from taking back any loose stamps. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do." To this, you merely say, "Thank you for your help," hang up, and call the next post office. I can ASSURE you that you will eventually find some post office that will do this for you; it is NOT difficult to do, but don't get discouraged by unsuccessful attempts and TOTALLY disregard statements from any post office worker that this cannot be done; remember, these are post office workers you're talking to, not brain surgeons! Also remember SCAM! rule #2: *** SCAM! RULE #2: 99% of people in ANY line of business have NO idea what the fuck they're doing! *** *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** Small post offices in rural areas will generally be more willing to accomodate you; large post offices in big cities will be more apt to enforce the no-exchange policy and will be useless to you. One VERY important point is: after you've located a post office willing to do the exchange, be CERTAIN to ask for the first name of the person you spoke with (don't ask their last name, because this is too formal and looks too conspicuous; remember, you want to be on a friendly level with this person, who's doing you a nice favor). Also, make CERTAIN that this person will be working at the time you actually go down for the conversion. If you do not do this, you may be very disappointed to find that another clerk in the same post office will deny your request, which can be quite irritating if you've driven ten or twenty extra miles to that out-of-town post office. Merely inquire of this person if he or she will be in on the day you expect to drop by; if not, merely ask when he or she will be working next. This is not an unusual question to ask, and you won't be looked at twice for asking it, so don't worry; just ask. 20-Quantity Booklets for $5.80 Now, suppose you have $105.00 worth of stamps. $105.00 doesn't mathematically divide evenly into $29.00, so then what? Simple: Take the $105.00 worth of stamps into the found post office with you. Ask your contact (the post office employee who promised he or she would do the exchange) to give you three 100 rolls of 29-cent stamps (that's 300 29-cent stamps, but in sealed rolls, mind you), which of course is worth $87.00 ($29 X 3). However, you brought them $105 worth of stamps and now have $18 left. What do you do with the remaining $18 worth of stamps? Well, the post office also puts out booklets/packets of twenty 29-cent stamps, running 20 X $0.29 or $5.80 each. You would request three of these booklets, or $17.40 worth ($5.80 X 3 = $17.40). So, with your $105.00 in loose stamps you now have three 100- quantity, sealed rolls of 29-cent stamps and three 20-quantity booklets of 29- cent stamps, and 60 cents left over ($105.00 - $87.00 - $17.40 = $0.60). Take the 60 cents worth of stamps and just use it to mail something out; there's nothing you can do with it, unless you want to accumulate these small remainders for the next time you try to pull this off. Anyway, the 60 cents isn't important because, remember: *** SCAM RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG! *** What To Do With Loose 29-Cent Stamps What if the stamps you have are loose, 29-cent stamps? Then, what? What logical reason could you give the post office for exchanging these loose stamps into sealed 29-cent stamps? Simple: The sealed stamps come in rolls ... that's the whole key! There are small plastic holders you can buy that these stamp rolls fit into, which dispense the stamps one by one. Tell the post office you have these extra loose stamps which are a pain-in-the-ass to use because you have a stamp dispenser at work and you can't load them into it; tell them that you need the sealed rolls instead. Converting the Rolls into Cash You're only one short step away from cash-in-your-pocket now. You have come into the post office with useless, loose stamps, most likely in varying denominations, and have now left the post office with fresh, sealed, 29-cent rolls and possibly some 29-cent booklets too. Simply now go home and call up some more post offices, telling them the following if, for example, you have three sealed rolls ready to be "cashed in": "Excuse me, but a few days ago I purchased six rolls of 29-cent stamps, but I think I bought too many and I was wondering if I could bring back two or three rolls." What you generally will hear is this: "I'm sorry, but the post office cannot give you money back for stamps you bought." Try just a few more times, and you'll find a post office GLAD to accomodate you. Some things to note: Rest easy, for it is more time-consuming to find a post office willing to exchange loose stamps for sealed stamps than it is to find a post office willing to refund you; again, this part is MUCH easier, and it will probably take you only four or five phone calls to find an accomodating post office. Secondly, if a post office tells you they'll only refund you 80 cents on the dollar or something like that, tell them to SCREW OFF and take your precious business elsewhere!! This scheme is belittling and insulting, and there is NO NEED for you to settle on anything less than the FULL face value of your sealed rolls. Remember, again, to get only the first name of the person you spoke to and make sure he or she is working at the time you go in to give the sealed stamp rolls and get the cash. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** You will have a much better chance of finding a post office to give you a refund if, when calling, you tell the post office that you live in the city the post office serves; that you purchased the stamps for business purposes (if asked, say you do business out of your home); and that you actually purchased the stamps from that very post office. If asked by whom or what the clerk looked like, merely state that you personally didn't purchase them but rather had one of your employees go down to buy them. Don't be squeamish about producing your drivers license for the refund; 95% of the time it's not required and, on the 5% of the time it is required, the license is generally just glanced at by the flea-brained postal clerk and nothing is jotted down. Even if your license number were to be taken down, it STILL is garbage because remember, you're simply providing real stamps to the post office for real money. You're breaking no laws, and there's nothing to be concerned or scared about. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** When going down to the post office for exchange or refund (step 1 or step 2 as set forth above), use your brain: If you're in a big-city post office where most office workers would be dressed with a shirt and tie, wear a shirt and tie when you go down. If you're in a rural area, dress rurally. That is, make sure to blend in and give the necessary appearance. Though this not essential, it will certainly make your goings-on easier. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** If you go down to the post office and they give you a hard time about anything, BE INSULTED!! After all, you are a post office customer who was promised something over the phone and is now being denied it. Of course, don't go haywire and get crazy; just act offended in a slightly above-average way and this will sometimes assist you in getting what you want. Remember, even if you must leave with nothing accomplished, there exists an alternate post office that WILL accomodate you. What to Do With the $5.80 Booklets You've now converted the sealed rolls back into cash, and have no doubt pocketed maybe $100 or $200, more even if you work for a large company or get friends to get you stamps. But what about those $5.80 packets? Generally, these will not be accepted for cash refund by the post office because they are not sealed and to do so would be in violation of the health code provision (see above). However, these packets are still of value. For example, locate a pharmacy or convenience store near you that sells packets of stamps as a courtesy to customers. Develop a rapport with the owner or cashier at the store, and ask if it would be alright to give him or her a few packets of stamps in return for something in the store, telling this person that you had gone to the post office and bought more stamps than you really needed. For example, if you wanted to purchase a carton of cigarettes for $20.00, you might instead offer three packets of stamps ($17.40) and $2.60 in cash for the cigs. You would be surprised, but many storeowners are willing to accomodate because their policy of selling stamps was initialized solely to make their customers feel more at home. By doing a "barter trade" with you, which this essentially is, they're making you feel at home and thus accomplishing their very goal; in a different sort of way, mind you, but they're still accomplishing it. To them, that's all that matters. Summary of Key Points So Far I. Get loose stamps from work and have friends you know do the same, offering them 50 cents on the dollar for their acquisitions. II. Find a post office to do the conversion from loose stamps to sealed ones, as described above. Get (1) the maximum number of $29.00 sealed rolls you can, and then (2) get the maximum number of $5.80 packets you can, and then (3) use any remainder (35 cents, 41 cents, 60 cents, etc.) as regular stamps for yourself. III. Find another post office to convert sealed rolls into cash, and do not accept anything less than full face value of the rolls. IV. Find a store to barter the packets away for convenience items such as food, cigarettes, etc. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** If you are dealing with a quantity of $300 or more worth of stamps for conversion, find out if the post office has sealed 500- quantity rolls instead of the traditional 100-quantity. When you call up the post office and say you bought "one roll too many", the clerk will think it's just a 100-quantity roll by default, not anticipating the larger, 500-quantity roll. Thus, you might be able to obtain a larger amount of cash more easily. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** If you have 20 sealed rolls to convert into cash, don't barge into one post office and claim you bought 20 rolls too many! Rather, go to six or seven post offices and tell each of them you bought three or four rolls too many. Be real, NO ONE in their right mind would actually believe you overbought TWENTY rolls of stamps (that's 2,000 stamps!) Larger Quantities of Stamps: Deriving Potentially Unlimited Profits So far, I've elaborated the basics when dealing with stamps from work, stamps from friends, etc. All well and good, but we're only talking about $100, $200, maybe $500 tops in all likelihood, right? (although it must be said that once a small envelope containing a mere $638 in stamps was found!) Anyway, it's still little-league stuff. You do want the thousands of dollars, don't you? You do want to play in the majors, don't you? Well, some good news and some bad news, my fellos SCAM!mers: The good news is, you can do it! The bad news is, it's riskier -- VERY riskier. Whether you want to attempt it or not is up to you. Personally, I strongly advise against it unless there is some life-threatening emergency such as mother in the hospital, imminent eviction, car radio not working right, etc. For information purposes, there are two techniques, as follows: Method I: Company Checks for Stamps Please remember earlier that I mentioned the best scenario is for you to get your employer to give you a company check and have you go down to the post office and purchase stamps yourself. This is true because you will get the experience of going down and buying stamps for a company, namely, the company you work for. This experience will make you less apprehensive when you do it for a NON-EXISTANT company!! Essentially, the post office treats business checks like gold. If you were to go to a post office and give them your personal check and ask for $5 worth of stamps, you can best believe you will be asked to produce identification up to your ass. But, give the post office a business check and ask for $150 worth of stamps, and they won't bat an eyelid. Knowing this, you must create checks that have a fictitious company name and address. Choose an address that is in a small city that has many neighboring cities, not necessarily small ones. You will essentially make the rounds from post office to post office within a 10- or 20-mile radius of the address you've printed on the check, purchasing sealed rolls at each post office. In elementary-school-like handwriting, make each business check out in advance, payable to the postmaster. For example: if you were producing a business check at a post office in Cleveland, Ohio (which for the life of me I don't know why anyone would go to Cleveland, even to do this!), you would use your poorest handwriting and, in pen, make the check payable to "POSTMASTER -CLEVELAND POST OFFICE" --exactly like that. Then, in a completely different, barely legible handwriting and preferably with a different-colored, medium- point "Flare" or something like that, sign a fictitious name on the signature line. Why the two handwriting styles? Simple: Most corporate officers have their secretaries fill out the checks; then, the officers sign them. The secretaries' handwriting is generally poor; the corporate officers' signatures are usually barely legible and often are written on medium-point Flare's, or the equivalent. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** If you're ambidextrous, use one hand to make out the check and use the other hand to sign it. If you're not ambidextrous, you should make it a practice of learning how to be. It IS possible to become ambidextrous in ONE MONTH. Make each check out for not more than $200, as eyebrows may be raised. In fact, since you now know that sealed rolls will make your life easier, I would suggest making each check out for exactly $145, or 5 sealed 29-cent rolls of 100. Five is an even, inconspicuous number. You could of course try for six rolls, which would be $174 and still under $200, but remember: *** SCAM! RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG!! *** By producing, say, 20 checks from the same fictitious business at 20 different post offices (and, with the proper road maps you can EASILY cover 20 post offices in one day), you would receive $145 in stamps from each post office, or $2,900 in stamps!! Not bad, huh? Now, applying the techniques set forth in the small-scale operation above, find different post offices to do the conversion from sealed rolls to cash. This simple operation can net you almost THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS in TWO working days. NOTE: First read and understand ALL warnings below pertaining to BOTH large-scale methods. *** SCAM! SUGGESTION *** In the large-scale operation, when choosing post offices to convert the sealed rolls into cash, choose post offices in a different State. WARNING: DO NOT produce phony business checks unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure how to do so! [What? You don't know how to make phony business checks? I'm SHOCKED! It's SO easy! Sorry, but we have to keep you on your toes guessing somehow ... if you don't know how to do this, the technique will be described in a forthcoming edition of SCAM! Again, sorry about this, but if all the cards were laid out on the table now, there'd be no reason for future issues of this magazine!!!] Method II: Ordering Stamps by Mail The post office has a great new gimmick whereby you can order stamps right in the mail, without ever having to go to the post office to pick them up. Essentially tailor-made for this scam, it works like this: You can obtain a form at ANY post office to do this. Merely ask your postal clerk for an ordering-stamps-by-mail form or locate the form at the post office desk and take one or two (or fifty) home with you. They're free. On the form you will find various denominations of stamps you can order (10- cent, 23-cent, 29-cent, $1 stamps, etc.), and you can fill out exactly how many you want of each. You enclose your personal OR business check payable to the Postmaster of that branch (as described above) and receive the stamps very shortly thereafter. Here, no ID is needed regardless of whether you furnish an individual OR a business check, however duplicated real business checks are preferred (how to make duplicated real business checks will also be discussed in forthcoming issues, if you don't know how to do this). In this method, issue 50 duplicated real business checks to 50 post offices, for example (I say 50 for simplicity purposes and because there's no legwork; unlike Method I, you don't have to do any travelling; the post office just mails them in to you). On the form, request five, 29-cent rolls of 100 stamps each, as these sealed rolls are most convenient for refund purposes. Do NOT request more than $200 worth of stamps on each form for, if you do, the stamps will be delivered to you certified mail return receipt requested at the address you provide. You do not want this. If something is sent to you certified mail RRR, you must present identification to receive it; you must sign for it; and you must be physically present to collect the stamps. So, if you again order $145 from each post office, it will be under the $200 threshold and the stamps will be mailed to you via regular mail, bypassing the certified entanglements. I won't quote SCAM! Rule #1 again, I think you have the gist by now; you would still net over SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS with 50 mailings, certainly a far cry from the $100 worth of stamps you took from work. Where to have the stamps mailed to, you ask? Clearly, do not give your home address! Also do not give the address of any friends or employers or anyone you've ever known in your lifetime or any past lifetime; rather, use a known abandoned house or a private mailbox facility. Readers of "SCAM!" will find, in forthcoming issues, a detailed discussion on the theory of private mailbox facilities and how they can be used to generate goods, services and liquid assets from a vast array of sources. WARNING: Do NOT attempt to use one of these mailbox facilities under a fictitious individual or company name if you do not now know precisely how to do so. This topic will be covered at length in future "SCAM!" issues, so please be patient. WARNING: Do NOT attempt to furnish duplicate real business checks if you do not know precisely how to do so. This topic will be covered at length in future "SCAM!" issues, so please be patient. WARNING: When doing large-scale conversions, it is most wise to travel by car to distant sections of the U. S. to obtain the refunds. Do NOT attempt to obtain refunds in the city or State that you chose to obtain the stamps! Do NOT attempt to obtain refunds after more than TWO WEEKS from the time you obtain the stamps, simply because the business checks you issued will eventually clear and be deemed fraudulent by the business. *** SCAM SUGGESTION *** If travelling throughout the U. S. by car with large quantities of stamps in your vehicle, or for that matter ANYTHING in your vehicle which really shouldn't be there, it is INSANE to drive any faster than FIVE MPH over the posted speed limit and it is INSANE to purposefully violate any local traffic laws, codes or ordinances no matter HOW sure you are that you can get away with it. *** SCAM SUGGESTION ** NEVER bring large quantities of stamps aboard a commercial aircraft, into an airline terminal, aboard a bus or in a bus station. NEVER bring large quantities of stamps through customs. Re-sale of U. S. stamps in Canada is possible, but should only be attempted by placing all of the stamps into one sturdy envelope and MAILING them into Canada, preferably via Federal Express Overnight Delivery. The cost of such a mailing is only about $25, which is well worth it. WARNING: Do NOT mail U. S. stamps abroad to a location you have not thoroughly investigated. Know what you intend to do with the stamps when they arrive, plan ahead and avoid last-minute decisionmaking at ALL costs. If ANYTHING unforeseen occurs, abandon the project post haste. Epilogue Well, hopefully now you have discovered the potentially unlimited rewards of "stamp collecting"!!????!! Happy exchanges, happy conversions, etc., but remember: don't do the crime if you can't do the time! Happy Scams! * WARNING: THE ABOVE INFORMATION IS THEORIZED ON PRINCIPLES OF CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, ROBBERY, PURPOSEFUL ISSUANCE OF FRAUDULENT CHECKS AND/OR THE UNLAWFUL OBTAINMENT OF U. S. POSTAGE STAMPS. TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE IN SUCH BEHAVIOR WOULD BE IN VIOLATION OF THE CRIMINAL PROCEDURE LAW(S) AND/OR PENAL CODE(S) OF YOUR STATE OF RESIDENCE IN TERMS OF CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, ROBBERY AND THE ISSUANCE OF "BAD" CHECKS AND, AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL, WOULD VIOLATE A VARIETY OF RULES AND REGULATIONS CONTAINED IN AND MADE A PART OF THE UNITED STATES CODE, WHICH CODE IS AVAILABLE FOR INSPECTION AND WHICH RULES AND REGULATIONS CAN BE VIEWED MORE FULLY SET FORTH AT YOUR LOCAL LAW LIBRARY. ISSUANCE OF FRAUDULENT CHECKS IS A FELONY PUNISHABLE BY A MAXIMUM OF 15 YEARS IMPRISONMENT IF CONVICTED, AND FEDERAL LAWS GENERALLY PROVIDE STIFFER PENALTIES. THIS INFORMATION IS BEING FURNISHED PURELY FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. ACTING UPON IT SHOULD NEVER BE ATTEMPTED AT ANY TIME OR FOR ANY REASON. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT PROVIDES NUMEROUS PROGRAMS AND RESOURCES TO ASSIST YOU IF YOU ARE IN FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, AS DOES YOUR STATE OF RESIDENCE. THE AUTHOR OF THIS PUBLICATION IN NO WAY CONDONES ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL ACTIVITY OR BEHAVIOR AND HAS NEVER ENGAGED IN ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL ACTIVITY OR BEHAVIOR AT ANY TIME OR FOR ANY REASON OR AS MAY BE SUGGESTED, INFERRED OR OTHERWISE IMPLIED FROM THE CONTENTS OF THIS PUBLICATION.