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- -----=====< SANctuary Text Files >=====-----
- 11/24/92
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- - The Collegiate Guide to Food Shopping -
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- By Havok Halcyon
-
- For the college student, or the aspiring college student such as
- myself, there is a need to cut costs so that one is able to afford to take
- one's girlfriend out to nice places, buy <cough> clothes, and what-not once
- you are at your school; at least for those of you, who like myself, will be
- given the hefty allowance of $20 a week that is supposed to cover all of
- our expenses. Yeah, sure. Now I can afford to buy a couple bottles of
- Absolute and nuthin' else. Fuckin' yippie. So in an endeavor to combat
- this problem I've written this file which will show you how you can VERY
- SIMPLY, and risk free, get free food and groceries (usually a rather
- sizable part of your weekly budget) on a regular basis without having to
- commit theft, or go scrounging through garbage bins as some other
- manuscripts suggest. I'm sorry, but doesn't anyone else find this kinda
- disgusting? Well anyhow...
- Our place of operations is going to be a supermarket (surprise). Like I
- said, nice and simple. Now while outright stealing is fun and great for
- those of us seeking a rush (we all have done it at some time or another),
- in most places it is not something you wanna do day-in and day-out since ya
- do run the risk of getting caught. After four straight years of
- shoplifting from the same supermarket near campus, that chance starts to
- get awfully high. So what we are going to do is....buy the food.
- When you go to a supermarket, WATCH what they do with the coupons (this
- sounds corny, but please keep reading). Let me use myself as an example.
- Because I was made to get a summer job at King's Supermarkets one summer,
- I'll run you through the typical routine. You get in line and put all your
- food on the belt. I check all the shit out over the scanner and you say,
- "whoops, heh heh, I forgot to give you my coupons." So I say, "asshole"
- under my breath and then I take them. (Supermarkets such as King's are
- good to go to since good service is something that is emphasized by the
- owners and in their ads and shit. Employees are told to NEVER disagree
- with the customer about anything short of outright theft. So you may try
- to find a place like this.) Now there are two different types of coupons,
- manufacturer's and store coupons. The manufacturer's ones are printed by
- the maker of the product and will be kinda colorful and often have no
- expiration date. The store's ones are printed by the store (are usually on
- just cheap, thin, yellow or white newspaper) and you can only use them in
- that chain of stores only, while the manufacturer's ones can be used at
- almost any supermarket.
- Now back to the check-out counter. You hand me a coupon. The
- manufacturer's one I look at and I type the amount in that is to be taken
- off the product; we'll say...$1. You now have $1 taken off of your total
- bill. Notice I didn't even bother to check to see if you bought the
- product or not. This is because you were smart enough to have the stuff at
- least partially packed before you gave me the coupons and maybe even went
- to the register during a busy time so I didn't have time to check. It is
- also a good idea to go to a kid who's the cashier since we generally really
- couldn't give a flying crap if you ARE ripping-off the store or not. Some
- of the older adults may be more picky though. So if you were to give me
- like 20 coupons for $1 you just saved 20 bucks. Who cares what was on them
- or what they really were for. And if you bill only totalled $25 bucks,
- well then there you go, you only pay $5. Be careful not to go to too far
- an extreme. If you give more credit in coupons than food you bought, they
- sometimes have to go find the Oh Holy Key Master to give you your money and
- they may then check what you "bought".
- The store coupons are entered by code or scanned and very often the
- registers are not made to check to see if you bought the item or not. So
- clip out a handful. This really depends on the store. Just watch the
- cashier and see what works.
- Some stores scan the coupons and that sometimes will, and sometimes
- won't make a difference. To check just go through there once with some
- coupons, some that match what you ARE buying and some that don't and see
- what works. Simple.
- This method works better than stealing since you can get a WHOLE lot
- more shit (I dunno. How much can you fit in, say, four shopping carts), it
- is virtually risk free, and you can just tell your mom you need money for
- food and then just pocket the cash for other things.
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