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- "Hackers" - an outline and review by Tommy (Tommy's Rating: ** 1/2 )
-
- Before anyone posts strident flames about this movie, it should be
- remembered that Hackers is entertainment for the masses - the formula of
- lowest common denominator that has served Hollywood well for decades. With
- that in mind, and a lot of forgiveness for the creators' failure to listen
- to their hacking advisors, I actually found Hackers reasonably entertaining
- and enjoyable.
-
- Hackers has a storyline that is thin, formulaic and ultimately predictable,
- but the plot is somewhat forgivable thanks to the character conflicts and
- the dazzling graphics throughout the movie. If I could ask for one thing
- in this department it would be for more intellectual conflict - especially
- online - between the protagonists and their nemesis, "The Plague".
-
- I found myself biting my tongue when the "Elite" cable TV show "Hack The
- Planet" showed a way of getting red box tones that just doesn't work and
- isn't as practical as generating them on a computer, and I nearly threw up
- when the hackers oooed and ahhhed at the PCI bus notebook computer
- (notebooks today use the PCMCIA bus) and marveled at the "288 bps modem".
- The hacking scenes, however, weren't done in text or even a GUI, but in a
- surreal virtual reality environment - one that would require far more
- bandwidth to transmit than even a 28800 modem could deliver, despite that
- all the hacking takes place over regular phone lines, sometimes through
- acoustic couplers! In that respect, even WarGames was closer to the real
- thing. Clearly, the scriptwriters weren't paying attention to their
- technical consultants as these and many other gaffes bear witness.
-
- If I weren't a retired denizen of the Computer Underworld myself, I might
- have given Hackers three stars. They could have listened to their advisors
- and done a hell of a lot more for realism without giving away dangerous
- secrets or worse, making the movie less entertaining.
-
- If they make a sequel, I'll advise them for free if they promise to listen
- to me!
-
- In an increasingly techno-literate world, the fact is that stunning
- graphics and an equally stunning female lead aren't enough in a movie about
- hackers. Not when I'm groaning at every other scene.
-
- Nevertheless, it's still a real feast for the eyes (and ears, if the show's
- decidedly nineties soundtrack is your thing) and will be well worth
- catching on video - or on the big screen if your theater has a discount
- night.
-
- -=( Tommy )=-
-
-
- (Spoilers! Read at your own peril!)
-
- Movie Outline:
-
- At the beginning, the lead character, "Zero Cool", is busted and tried at
- the age of eleven for writing a virus that crashes 1,507 computers and
- causes a seven point drop in the stock exchange. Guilty as sin, he's
- ordered not to own or use computers (or even a touch tone phone) until his
- eighteenth birthday.
-
- Cut to 1995. Zero is 18 now and back online with a new lunchbox PC and a
- new handle, "Crash Override". His parents now divorced, he and his mother
- move from Seattle to Manhattan, the city that never sleeps. He immediately
- starts hacking again, running up against another hacker on his first system
- penetration. It is at this point that we must begin to suspend our
- disbelief - all the hacking seems to be done in a very slick and
- impressive, but extremely improbable graphical VR interface.
-
- Crash begins meeting his fellow protagonists on his first day of school.
- He is immediately attracted to Kate Libby, a gorgeous but devious young
- woman who pulls a freshman prank on him. Crash does not yet know that she
- is actually "Acid Burn", the belligerent and r0dently (in online
- appearance only) cracker who kicked him off the first system he hacked in
- New York. Nor does she know that he's a hacker, much less the legendary
- Zero Cool.
-
- He gets even with her for the prank by penetrating the school
- administration system and altering the classroom assignments so that they
- share a class, and then by scheduling an unscheduled test of the school's
- fire sprinkler system (Kate's prank had left Crash "all wet"). Later, their
- character conflict grows when Crash beats Kate's high score on a video game
- which she had totally dominated.
-
- In school, Crash meets "Phreak" and "Cereal Killer", both brilliant and
- eccentric, and Joey, an ankle-byter so naive he still can't even think of a
- decent handle. Crash, Phreak, Joey and Cereal party and rave and meet up
- with "Nikon", who derives his handle from his eidetic memory - which serves
- them well later. Eventually, Kate/Acid Burn's identity is revealed to Crash
- at a party at her place, and their psychic conflict heats up even more,
- taking on mildly sexual overtones as they exchange double entendres and
- witty one-liners, each trying to outdo the other.
-
- One of the better examples of their adversarial courtship occurs when Crash
- is typing at lightning speed until Kate asks him if he screws like he
- types. Not missing a beat, Crash slows his typing to a two-finger
- beginner's pace.
-
- Meanwhile Joey, admonished by Phreak and Cereal for getting into systems by
- accident rather than by intent, stays home and purposefully hacks at a
- fictional "Gibson" computer until, hallelujah, he makes it inside with
- superuser access. Here we see more of the dreadfully surrealistic but
- visually enthralling graphics, as Joey navigates the Gibson's virtual
- towers of glass and light, roadways of electrons teeming with data in
- transit below. Joey decides to download something to prove that he made it
- into the system, to show his friends that he's worthy. Meanwhile, he is
- traced by the system's security manager, "The Plague", himself a hacker.
- Knowing he might have something valuable, Joey hides the disk to which he
- downloaded the file in an air vent, and the next day is busted by the
- Secret Service.
-
- Word of Joey's bust gets to the other five hackers, who are incensed by the
- head SS man's canned anti-hacker rhetoric on the TV news. Crash gets an
- unpleasant visit from the SS and from Plague, neither of whom have anything
- on Crash but succeed in pissing him off royally. Meanwhile, tensions
- between Crash and Burn (a cutesy name coined by Cereal Killer, who was the
- only one laughing) are at an all time high, so they decide to settle things
- once and for all in the best way they can think of: by getting back at the
- head SS G-Man. The stakes: If one wins, the other must wear a dress on
- their first date - a prospect that seems more unthinkable to the tomboyish
- Burn, who doesn't "do" dates, than Crash. The two engineer a hilarous
- array of pranks and shenanigans that prove very disruptive to the hapless
- SS man's life, exchanging taunts all the way, while Cereal keeps score.
-
- Meanwhile, Joey is released (sans Macintosh) and retrieves his disk,
- bringing it to Phreak to find out what is on it. Their bubble is burst
- when Phreak is raided one morning by SS agents and taken into custody.
- There he learns the real particulars of Joey's bust and phreaks an extra
- call onto his one phone call to warn Acid Burn about Joey's disk. This
- leads to an entertaining scene wherein Kate must retrieve the disk, which
- Phreak had stashed behind a condom machine in the boy's washroom at school.
-
- The remaining free hackers put aside their conflict (after Crash is
- blackmailed into giving Plague a copy of the disk) and resolve to find out
- once and for all what the disk has that is so valuable. They uncover a
- worm which skims pennies from millions of transactions, leaving the
- resulting millions of dollars in a numbered bank account. They also learn
- that they're all about to be arrested for that crime, and for that of
- creating a virus that causes oil tankers to capsize (this virus is missing
- from the disk), and that they have been set up by none other than The
- Plague. Desperate, they enlist the assistance of Razor and Blade,
- androgynous "elite" hackers and cable-TV show hosts who in turn summon
- hundreds more hackers worldwide across the nets. Their mission: to
- retrieve the virus, expose The Plague, and totally crash Plague's company's
- Gibson system before it can execute the tanker-toppling "Da Vinci" virus.
- Operating from payphones in Grand Central Station, our heroes manage to do
- all of this just before the SS finally catches up with them and they are
- busted, big-time. Only Cereal, who was in charge of setting up a system of
- relayed payphones on another level of the station to act as decoys, avoids
- the bust. Cereal goes to Razor and Blade, who manage to hack their TV show
- onto a satellite, at which point we again suspend disbelief as every TV set
- in the world carries Cereal's questionably credible visage and he spells
- out the story, exposing The Plague and his mistress, a P.R. executive in
- the company, whose position had bought him the time and the access to pull
- his scam.
-
- Cleared at last, Crash and Burn finally resolve their conflict: Crash wins
- (by decision of the other hackers, who agreed that this was the only way
- Crash would ever get a date), so Burn has to wear a dress to their first
- date. They shed their rivalry (and their clothes) and make out in a
- rooftop swimming pool, and we suspend disbelief one last time as the
- skyscrapers in the distance light up: "Crash and Burn". The End.
-
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