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1995-01-01
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84 lines
Attack Of The X Demographic
by Dave Bealer
Boomers Rule! Or at least we used to. As the largest generation in
American history, we Baby Boomers are used to being the center of
attention. Thousands of brand new schools were built for our
specific use in the 1950s and 1960s, not that we appreciated them all
that much at the time. We had bigger parties than anyone else (e.g.
Woodstock), more drugs, free love, and consequently less surviving
brain cells (on average) than any generation before or since.
Things change, however, even for the Boomers. We took our time about
it, but many of us eventually started raising families. Frequently
we skipped the "marry and settle down" prelude, not accustomed to
being bound by tradition. Still, a peaceful, clean Earth suddenly
became less an exercise in idealism we desired for ourselves, than
something OUR children needed to live long, safe, happy lives. Never
mind that as soon as they become teenagers, our kids go off tilting
at their own windmills. At least their windmills are made from
recycled materials.
Boomers have, on the whole, ended up with more traditional jobs than
they expected. Geodesic dome installation and repair did not become
the growth industry that had been envisioned. Neither did commune
planning or wind farm operation (except in the District of Columbia,
where the hot air blowing out of Congress keeps the lights burning 24
hours/day).
A disturbing number of Boomers ended up with careers in real estate,
insurance, law enforcement, law evasion, and other traditional
trades/professions. Someone has to build and install our hot tubs,
decks, satellite dishes, big screen televisions with stereo speakers,
microwave digital toothbrushes, and other non-materialistic
accoutrements.
Yep, the Boomers turned into consumers. Not just average consumers,
but the biggest, most gluttonous and short tempered gang of mall
lizards ever to descend on a rummage sale. The kind of spendthrift
group that makes the folks who do marketing demographics drool all
over their charts and graphs. Now, after years of incessant courting
by the marketing majors (and other vile detritus) of the world, we're
being dumped like a load of week-old mackerel.
The problem is we're getting older. One would think that would be
good, at least from a marketing perspective. People in their forties
and fifties typically hold senior positions in their respective
fields, earning more than they ever did before. Although the people
who market Mercedes-Benzes and trusses target the "more mature"
demographics, the folks who peddle clothing, sunglasses, fast food,
music, sunblock, and electronics lust after that Holy Grail of
marketing, the 18-34 demographic.
As one of the youngest members of the Baby Boomers proper, I'm
already three years past that upper range of marketing cool. Does
that make me a Late Boomer? I've always been considered a late
bloomer. In any event, my status was brought home to me recently
when the "classic rock" radio station I've been listening to while
driving to and from work for ten years was suddenly transformed into
a "Generation X" station. That's right, a whole radio station
dedicated to the so-called music of a generation that refuses to give
out its real name.
I decided to give this "X" music a try for a few days. At least it
didn't include any rap music, which I can't stand. (The realization
that I was getting old struck a couple years ago when I caught myself
saying the exact same things about rap music that my parents said
about rock music.) In the long run it was no good. After so many
years I needed to hear those soothingly familiar sounds from the
sixties and seventies.
Since I'm apparently the last conservative in America who doesn't
listen to talk radio, finding a new music station was mandatory.
Eventually I found an FM station that plays music from the 1970s.
It's not all rock music, but at least it's familiar -- it keeps me
happy as I drive to the mall. I can't afford a Mercedes right now,
so I'm going out to buy a truss. {RAH}
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Sound Byte:
"She turned me into a Newt!"
"Yes, Mr. Speaker. Now, about this Witch Burning bill..."