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  1.  
  2.          (__)             (__)             (__) 
  3.          (oo)             (oo)             (oo)  
  4.   /-------\/       /-------\/       /-------\/  
  5.  / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||  
  6. *  ||----||      *  ||W---||      *  ||w---||  
  7.    ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~    
  8.      Cow           Cow laden        Same cow     
  9.                    with milk     after milking     
  10.  
  11.          (___)             (___)    *        (___)             (___)
  12.          (o o)             (o o)     \       (o o)             (o o)
  13.   /-------\ /       /-------\ /       \-------\ /       /-------\ /
  14.  / |     ||O       / |     ||O         |     ||O       / | ~#>-+|O
  15. *  ||,---||       *  ||@\--||          ||,---||       *  ||,----|
  16.    ~~    ~~          ~~    ~~          ~~    ~~          ~~     ~
  17.      Bull       Same bull after    Rotc bull after    Red-blooded American Bull
  18.                 seeing above cow   seeing other bull   shooting the Rotc bull
  19.  
  20.  
  21.  
  22.          (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
  23.          (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  24.   /-------\/-*     /-------\/       /-------\/   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  25.  / |     || \     )*)(\/* /  *     / |     ||
  26. *  ||----||  *   \ |||/)|/()(    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  27. \/|(/)(/\/(,,/   \)|(/\/|)(/\
  28.   Cow munching   Grass munching   Cow in water       Cow in trouble
  29.     on grass         on cow
  30.  
  31.           (__)             (__)    *        (__) *      (__)
  32.           (oo)             (oo)     \       (oo) |      (oo)
  33.   /--------\/      /-oooooo-\/       \-------\/  \-------\/
  34.  * o|     ||      * ooooooooo     o  o|     ||   /     ||
  35.     ||----||     ooooooooooooo        ||----||>==/-----||
  36.  ooo~~    ~~    ooooooooooooooooo     ~~    ~~         ~~
  37.   Cow taking      Cow in deep         Cow getting the shit
  38.     shit              shit             kicked out of her
  39.  
  40.  
  41.          (__)
  42.          (oo)                       U
  43.   /-------\/                    /---V
  44.  / |     ||                    * |--|                       .
  45. *  ||----||
  46.    ~~    ~~
  47.  
  48. Cow at 1 meter.         Cow at 100 meters.        Cow at 10,000 meters.
  49.  
  50.  
  51.  
  52.          (__)                     )__(                vv    vv
  53.          (oo)                     (oo)                ||----||  *
  54.   /-------\/               *-------\/                 ||     | /
  55.  / |     ||               / |     ||                 /\-------/
  56. *  ||----||              /  ||----||                (oo)
  57.    ~~    ~~                 vv    vv                (~~)
  58.  
  59. American Cow              Polish Cow            Australian Cow
  60.  
  61.  
  62.  
  63.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  64.          (oo)                ____ (oo)                _---_(oo)
  65.   /-------\/               /-    --\/               /-     -\/
  66.  / |     ||               / |     ||               /|      ||
  67. *  ||----||              *  ||___-||              *  ||___-||
  68.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  69.  
  70. Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow
  71. Arriving at Rit     After the "Freshman 15"    After the "Freshman 20"
  72.  
  73.  
  74.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  75.          (OO)                     (@@)                     (xx)
  76.   /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
  77.  / |     ||               / |     ||               / |     ||
  78. *  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
  79.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  80.  
  81. Cow who drank Jolt       Cow who ate              Cow who used Jolt to wash
  82.                       psychadelic mushrooms      down psychadelic mushrooms
  83.  
  84.  
  85.                   ________________________
  86.          (__)    /                        \
  87.          (oo)   (  Meet our great leader!  )
  88.   /-------\/  --'\________________________/
  89.  / |     ||
  90. *  ||----||
  91.    ~~    ~~
  92.                                                    #            #
  93.                                                   ##            ##
  94.                                                  ##              ##
  95.                                                 ##                ##
  96.                                                 ##                ##
  97.                                                 ###              ###
  98.         M     M    OOOO     OOOO                 ###   ######   ###
  99.         MM   MM   O    O   O    O                #######    #######
  100.         M M M M   O    O   O    O               #                  #
  101.         M  M  M   O    O   O    O              #    ###      ###    #
  102.         M     M   O    O   O    O             #    #   #    #   #    #
  103.         M     M    OOOO     OOOO              #    # ###    # ###    #
  104.                                    \\         #     ###      ###     #
  105.                                     \\         #                    #
  106.                                      \\________ #     ########     #
  107.                                       \--------  #   # ##  ## #   #
  108.                                                   #  #        #  #
  109.                                          #########  # # #### # #
  110.                                    ######              ######   ####
  111.         ###########################                                ###
  112.       ##                                                             ##
  113.     ##                                     #                          #
  114.    #  ##                                   #                          #
  115.   #  # #                                    #       #         #       #
  116.   # #  #                                    #      #           #      #
  117.   # #   #               #                    #     #           #     #
  118.   # #    #              #                    #    #             #    #
  119.   # #     #            #                     #    #             #    #
  120.   # #      #          #                      #    #          ####    #
  121.   # #       #        #####                    #  #        ###    #  #
  122.   # #        #      #   # #####################  #########       #  #
  123.   # #       #      #   #                      #  #               #  #
  124.   # #      #      #   #                       #  #               #  #
  125.  #   #      #    #   #                        #  #               #  #
  126.   # #        #   #   #                        #  #               #  #
  127.    #          #   #   #                       #  #               #  #
  128.                ##### ###                      ####               ####
  129.                 ###### ###                   ######             ######
  130.  
  131.  
  132.  
  133.  
  134.                                          /\                  __
  135.                                         /  \                 ||
  136.              (__)                 (__)  \  /               (_||_)
  137.              SooS                 (oo)   \/                 (oo)
  138.       /------S\/S          /-------\/    /S          /-------\/
  139.      / |     ||           / |     ||    /  S        / |     ||
  140.     *  ||----||          *  ||----||___/    S      *  ||----||
  141.        ~~    ~~             ~~    ~~                  ~~    ~~
  142.     This cow belonged     Ben Franklin owned       Abe Lincoln's
  143.   to George Washington       this cow                   cow
  144.  
  145.  
  146.                                                  (__)
  147.          *        (__)                           (oo)
  148.           \       (oo)                     /------\/
  149.            \-------\/                     /|  |/  |
  150.             | ==$ ||                     / |  [) ||
  151.             ||----||                    *  ||----||
  152.             ~~    ~~                       ~~    ~~
  153.      Old "One Arm" belonged           This cow was given to
  154.        to Ceasar's Palace           Hugh Hefner for his Birthday
  155.  
  156.  
  157.                   (___)               (__)      (__)
  158.                   ( O )               (oo)      (oo)
  159.            /-------\ /                 \/--------\/
  160.           / |     ||V                   |        |
  161.          *  ||----||                    ||------||
  162.             ~~    ~~                    ~~      ~~
  163.   The cyclops that Jason and         This cow lived with
  164. the Argonauts met had this cow          Dr. Doolittle
  165.  
  166.  
  167.              (__)                   (__)
  168.              [##]                   (@o)
  169.       /-------\/             /-------\/              /-------  (__)
  170.      / |     ||             / |     ||              / |     || (oo)
  171.     *  ||----||            *  ||----||             *  ||----|---\/
  172.        ~~    ~~               ~~    ~~                ~~    ~
  173.  This cow belonged      This cow lived with      This cow belonged to
  174.   to Flash Gordon       the Little Rascals       the Headless Horseman
  175.  
  176.  
  177. The following three cows were supposed to be appearing with the
  178. Celebrity Cows pictured above... However, I found out that they
  179. were sitting around a bar getting drunk discussing what exactly
  180. is art.  The cows' conclusion:  Art is a bunch of Bull(s).
  181.  
  182.                                 Sorry, but I couldn't resist,
  183.                                 Hawk,  Sesquipedalianite
  184.                                 and Head of Heffer Control.
  185.  
  186.  
  187.  
  188.  
  189.                     (____)             (____)                           (____)
  190.                     (oo  )                (o  o)                        ( O O)
  191.          /-----------\  /          /-----\    /----          /-----------\  /
  192.         / ||       |  \/          / |   |  \/   |           / ||       |  \/
  193.        /  ||       ||||           \ |  |      | | |        /  ||       ||||
  194.       *   ||||-----||||            *| | |-----| | |       *   ||||-----||||
  195.           /\/\     /\/\             /\ /\     /\ /\           ~~~~     ~~~~
  196.      This cow belonged         This was Salvatore      No one was sure whether
  197.       to Pablo Picasso        Dali's favorite cow    M.C. Escher's cow had four
  198.                                                            legs or eight
  199.  
  200.  
  201.  
  202.  
  203. Seeing as how it is Spring Break Season, I thought I would share
  204. with you some Vacation Ideas for any of you Cows out there on the
  205. Net who don't know where to go for some fun.
  206.                                         - Steve "Hawk" Schultz
  207.                                           Head of Heifer Control
  208.  
  209.  
  210.  
  211. Well, first of all, there are theme parks and historic sites:
  212.  
  213.  
  214.                O__O                             \_|_/
  215.                (oo)                             (oo)
  216.         /-------\/                       /-------\/
  217.        / |     ||                       / |     ||
  218.       *  ||----||                      *  ||----||
  219.          ~~    ~~                         ~~    ~~
  220.     Cow at Disneyland         Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
  221.  
  222.  
  223.  
  224. There's the fun and warmth of the southwest:
  225.  
  226.  
  227.                         (__)
  228.                 ~~      (oo)
  229.             ~~~~ /-------\/
  230.          ~~~~~  / |     ||
  231.        ~~~~~   *  ||----||
  232.     ~~~~~~~~  ====~~====~~====
  233. ~~~~~~~~~/
  234. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  235. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  236.      Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu
  237.  
  238.  
  239.  
  240.  
  241. And on the other coast, while the water might be a little chilly up
  242. north, it is still exciting:
  243.  
  244.  
  245.                )\               (__)
  246.               /  \              (oo)
  247.         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  248.            Cow swimming at Amityville
  249. (Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)
  250.  
  251.  
  252.  
  253. For those who believe in Winter Wonderland's, the Rockies present
  254. excitement galore:
  255.  
  256.  
  257.           *
  258.            \
  259.             \
  260.             |\
  261.           \ | \ (__)
  262.           \\|| \(oo)
  263.            \||\ \\/
  264.             ~~ \||
  265.              \\ ||
  266.               \\||
  267.                \||
  268.                 ~~
  269.                  \\_
  270.                   \_
  271.    Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen
  272.  
  273.  
  274.  
  275. And of course, the traditional Spring Break spot, where you can go for
  276. expensive beer and cheap sex:
  277.  
  278.  
  279.                                           (__)
  280.                                           (--)
  281.                                          /-\/-\
  282.                                         /|    |\
  283.                                        ~ |    | ~
  284.                (__)                      |    |
  285.                (DD)                      /----\
  286.         /-------\/                      /    \ \
  287.        / |     ||_\_/                  ~      * ~
  288.       *  ||----|               Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
  289.          ~~    ~                   (What a bod, huh guys?)
  290. Cow chugging brews and staring at
  291.   sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
  292.  
  293.  
  294.  
  295.  
  296. Or, for those who have trouble picking up members of the opposite sex:
  297.  
  298.  
  299.                        O O                 O O
  300.                         \ \               / /
  301.                          \ \          (__) /
  302.           (__)            \ \         (xx)/
  303.           (DD)             \ +--------+\//
  304.    /-------\/               \|        | /
  305.   / |     ||                 +--------+
  306.  *  ||----||
  307.     ~~    ~~
  308. Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
  309.             at Gillies in Texas
  310.  
  311.  
  312.  
  313.  
  314. Disclaimer:  If these have offended anyone, I apologize, not whole-heartedly,
  315.              but I do apologize.  I mean, what do you expect from a bunch
  316.              of cows???
  317.  
  318.  
  319.               \ (__)
  320.               \\(oo)
  321.          /-----\\\/
  322.         / |    (##)
  323.        *  ||----||"
  324.           ~~    ~~
  325.     This cow plays bagpipes.
  326.  
  327.  
  328. >From: eric@snark.UUCP   (Eric S. Raymond)
  329.  
  330.  
  331.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  332.          (\/)                     ($$)                     (**)
  333.   /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
  334.  / | 666 ||               / |=====||               / |     ||
  335. *  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
  336.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  337.  
  338. Satanic cow           This cow is a Yuppie         Cow in love
  339.  
  340.  
  341. >From: thomas@leah.Albany.Edu  (Thomas Barry)
  342.  
  343.  
  344.          (__)                                              (__)
  345.          (oo)                                              (oo)
  346.   /-'''''-\/                            /-------------------\/
  347.  / |'''''||                            / |                 ||
  348. *  ||''''||                           *  ||----------------||
  349.    ~~    ~~                              ~~                ~~
  350.                                               Stretch Cow
  351.  Cow in Argyle                 *
  352.                             **   **
  353.                        * **  * * *  **
  354.                       *   /  /   \ *  *
  355.                    \  \ /  \        / /
  356.                 *  /  / \  \  (__)  \ \
  357.                   /           (00)  / /
  358.                   \    /-------\/   \ \
  359.                   /   / |     ||    / /
  360.                 \ \  *  ||----||    \ \
  361.                /  /     ~~    ~~    / /
  362.  
  363.                        Cow in Heat
  364.  
  365.  
  366.                                                  (__)
  367.                                         /--------(00)
  368.                                        / |      |(  )
  369.                                       *  ||---- ||()
  370.                                          ||     ||
  371.                                          ~~     ~~
  372.                                     Cow Chewing Marbles
  373.  
  374.  
  375. >From: Anonymous  (name withheld upon request)
  376.  
  377.  
  378.          (___)
  379.          (o o)
  380.    /------\ /   (__)
  381.   /    ____O    (oo)
  382.  |   / /----\----\/                  "Where did that camera come from!"
  383.  /\oo===|  /    ||
  384. | ||   *||~-----||
  385. *  ~~   ~~      ~~
  386.  
  387.  
  388. >From: ihnp4!decvax!savax!sii!siia!kgg  (Kenneth G. Goutal)
  389.  
  390. Thanks very much for distributing your cow canon.
  391. I got a copy via a friend who has access to netnews, which I do not.
  392. I ran off a copy to send to some friends who recently moved away,
  393. to a suburb of Detroit, and are not on the net at all.
  394. I thought they should have some cows appropriate to their locale.
  395. Herewith are my apocryphal cows:
  396.  
  397.          (__)
  398.          (oo)
  399.   /-------\/
  400.  / |     ||
  401. *  ||----||
  402.    OO    OO
  403. Detroit cow
  404.  
  405.          \__\
  406.      o   (oo)
  407.   ____\___\/
  408.  / |     ||
  409. *  ||----||
  410.    OO    OO
  411. Mustang cow
  412.  
  413.          (__)
  414.          (oo)
  415.  *+-------\/
  416.  ||______||
  417.    ||----||
  418.    OO    OO
  419.   pickup cow
  420.  
  421.                  (__)
  422.                  (oo)
  423.   /---------------\/
  424.  / |             ||
  425. *  ||------------||
  426.    OO            OO
  427.       li-moo-cow
  428.  
  429.          (__)
  430.          (oo)
  431.      /----\/
  432.     /    ||
  433.  *-||----||
  434.    OO    OO
  435. fastback cow
  436.  
  437.          \_||_~
  438.          (*||*)
  439.   /-------\||/
  440.  / |     ||
  441. *  ||----||
  442.    OO    }{
  443. teenager's cow
  444.  
  445. The following has nothing to do with Detroit,
  446. but surely belongs among the canonical cows:
  447.  
  448.          ____
  449.         (____)
  450.  
  451.          (__)
  452.          (oo)
  453.   /-------\/
  454.  / |     ||
  455. *  ||----||
  456.    ~~    ~~
  457.    holy cow
  458.  
  459.  
  460. Moo
  461.