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World of Shareware - Software Farm 2
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GUNCONTR.TXT
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1992-03-10
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THE FOLLOWING WAS TAKEN AS A LETTER READ ON
THE AIR OF "THE RUSH LIMBAUGH SHOW" AND POSES
AN INTERESTING TWIST ON GUN CONTROL ARGUMENTS.
PEN CONTROL U.S.A.
I would like to invite you and all your friends to
become members of "Pen Control U.S.A."
Our goal is to propose legislation which would be
designed to forever keep the implements of script, print and
type out of the hands of liberal lawmakers and journalist,
for as you know we are becoming inundated with bad law and
editorials in our country; and, we feel the time is right
to put an end to it.
Now there are two classes of weapons targeted by our
movement. Concealable and automatics. The concealable are
comprised of pens, pencils and crayons; the latter of which
is largely responsible for this dissemination and
articulation of most liberal thought. These would be
permitted to the general public, provided anyone wishing to
obtain one can certify that he or she has successfully
passed an intensive six week "writers safety course." The
automatics include typewriters, word processors, presses and
computer printing devices. These items would be immediately
confiscated by police and dumped into the prince William
Sound. On neither class of writing tool would a grandfather
clause apply.
We do realize that Constitutional concerns relating to
the first amendment arise; but, Supreme Court president does
exist that allows modification of this amendment for the
purpose of public safety. For example it is not permitted
for a person to yell "fire" in a movie theater, not that
anyone would hear it anyway. Besides if the original intent
rule were followed, only "quill-pens" and "manual printing
presses" would be protected by the first amendment.
Interested persons may obtain more facts about our movement
by using their imaginations.
THIS IS A PRIME EXAMPLE WHICH ILLUSTRATES THE ABSURDITY OF MOST
LIBERAL ARGUMENTS.