In television and movies, Californians are typically portrayed as laid back, brainless, sun worshipers with too much time on their hands. New Yorkers, on the other hand, are always cold, unfeeling, street-smart masochists.
Two new computer games happen to be set in Los Angeles and New York, and I thought it might be interesting to see if they conform to the usual stereotypes or break them. A bicoastal software review, you might say.
In "L.A. Crackdown" (Epyx, IBM, Apple II, Commodore 64/128, $40-50) a gang of ruthless international drug racketeers are smuggling electronic components, as well as samadhi, a hallucinatory narcotic. You're a senior detective on the Los Angeles Police Department with a mission to track down enough evidence to arrest the kingpin in a sting.
Don't worry, you're in California so you don't have to get your hands dirty. From the safety of your high-tech police suveilance van with its state-of-the-art video screen, you direct all operations.
The tough stuff is carried out by your partner, a rookie you select from the Police Academy. He questions suspected underworld contacts, gathers clues, places bugs, tails suspicious characters, makes arrests and photographs evidence.
In La La Land, the worst thing that can happen seems to be that your rookie gets dissatisfied with the job and quits. One of the requirements of the game is that you make sure to give him rest every 12-16 hours. Cushy job!
It would be an understatement to say New York is portrayed as a harsher, crueler world in "Manhunter: New York" (Sierra, all formats, $50). The game's slogan is: "Be Thankful When They Eat Away Your Eyes...You'll Be Spared the Sight of What's Yet to Come!"
In The Big Apple, it's the year 2004 and the alien Orb Alliance has taken over the world, subjugating all humans. You play a detective here too, but this time you have to spy on your friends. If you see any subversive activity, report it to the aliens. You're a Manhunter, you see. In New York, even the hero is a creep.
The city has been devastated. New York is no longer the fashion capital of the world. Now everybody wears brown robes. You have to keep your face hidden at all times, and if you talk with any other humans you are killed. (So where does the fantasy come in?)
Central Park is the site of the Annual Human Survival Games. Ellis Island is a resort area for aliens. The United Nations Building was destroyed in the Orb invasion of 2002. "Strange, rotting odors permeate the air," say the instructions, a description that some will say isn't markedly different from summer in New York during the last garbage strike.
You'll also have to deal with a deadly arcade game in a Flatbush bar and fight off a menacing band of street thugs. All humans have been implanted with tracking devices in the back of their necks, a neat trick in a town that isn't even fully wired for cable TV.
All in all, both programs fit the popular stereotypes well. Epyx has another program, "California Games," that does it on purpose. Players compete in a series of typical West Coast events like surfing, skateboarding, motocross racing and roller skating.
I figure it's only a matter of time until somebody comes up with a sister software package for East Coasters: "New York Games." The possibilities for events are unlimited...
-- "Rent Wars" (Players try to squeeze a life's worth of possessions into a studio apartment).
-- "100 Yard Cross Town Dash" (While carrying a Sony Trinitron that you just looted from an appliance store).
-- "Grafitti Warrior" (Martial arts with cans of spray paint).
-- "Underground Nightmare" (Knocking down old ladies to get a seat on the subway.
-- "Demolition Derby" (Ride a taxi uptown in time to make a Broadway opening).
HOTLINE: Steve Jobs pulled off the PR coup of the century appearing on Ted Koppel's "News From Earth" recently. Jobs, who introduced his NeXT computer recently, will have his words beamed across the heavens in hopes that aliens will pick it up. Leave it to Steve to boldly go where no man has gone before in search of potential customers...
