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- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!utcsri!dgp.toronto.edu!flaps
- Newsgroups: talk.rape
- From: flaps@dgp.toronto.edu (Alan J Rosenthal)
- Subject: Re: Walking her to the car.
- Message-ID: <1992Aug14.093734.3457@jarvis.csri.toronto.edu>
- References: <1992Aug11.175613.475@brtph560.bnr.ca> <1992Aug12.072624.26832@leland.Stanford.EDU> <1992Aug12.121820.12697@brtph560.bnr.ca> <1992Aug14.100032.9183@news.acns.nwu.edu>
- Date: 14 Aug 92 13:37:35 GMT
- Lines: 40
-
- query@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Samuel Green) writes:
- >I was told by a 'liberated' woman that she thought that it was macho bullshit
- >for me to offer to escort her. She made it home safely that night, but, since
- >she was so 'liberated', she went out many other times. Eventually, someone
- >saw her as a victim, and she was mugged and raped. I don't think being
- >'liberated' is a very good reason for wanting to go out alone.
-
- Permit me to explain, then. Rape is about control. Some aspects of feminism
- are about control. Women are being told to live in fear and never go out
- alone. They are being told this by rapists, in the sense that they know that
- there are rapists out there and that they may get attacked if they go out alone
- at night. But unfortunately they are also being told this by nicer people who
- are concerned for their welfare and are trying to protect them against rape.
- Well this pisses some women off. Rightfully so. If we (men) can go out on the
- street at night alone, why can't they? It is truly discriminatory. It has an
- effect not only on one's social life, but it also makes it difficult to take
- certain jobs, especially if you can't afford a car, and so on -- it affects all
- walks of life. So some women are insisting that they have the right to go out
- alone at night, to take control of that aspect of their lives. This is
- praiseworthy, if they can do it. It's not always safe, but many things are not
- safe. And it is an important thing affecting their lives.
-
- >Since that has happened, I now usually INSIST on escorting a woman to where
- >she needs to go. If she refuses, I will usually follow her from a distance of
- >about a block, and then run up to her if it seems like something may happen.
- >Maybe thats wrong, if theyt said I should not go, but, hell, I would rather be
- >stubborn and called a jerk or worse, than let someone get attacked.
-
- This is a very tough judgement call. I don't have any advice to contribute --
- hopefully some of the women on the group will answer this point (if a certain
- man hasn't caused them all to lose interest in this group yet).
-
- However, don't be surprised if women react quite negatively to your doing
- this. They are trying to take control of their lives, and you are saying to
- them, no, a man must be involved in your walking at night, either as rapist or
- as benevolent protector. It is going to be perceived as an invasive thing.
-
- One partial solution to this is to have women escort women, thus proving that
- men do not have to be involved. This is anti-rape because rapists are in
- effect saying that they do.
-