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- .. < chapter xxxviii 26 DUSK >
-
- By the Mainmast; Starbuck leaning
-
- against it. My soul is more than matched; she's overmanned; and by a
- madman! Insufferable sting, that sanity should ground arms on such a field!
- But he drilled deep down, and blasted all my reason out of me! I think I see
- his impious end; but feel that
- .. <p 167 >
- I must help him to it. Will I, nill I, the ineffable thing has tied me to
- him; tows me with a cable I have no knife to cut. Horrible old man! Who's
- over him, he cries; --aye, he would be a democrat to all above; look, how he
- lords it over all below! Oh! I plainly see my miserable office, --to obey,
- rebelling; and worse yet, to hate with touch of pity! For in his eyes I read
-
- some lurid woe would shrivel me up, had I it. Yet is there hope. Time and
- tide flow wide. The hated whale has the round watery world to swim in, as the
- small gold-fish has its glassy globe. His heaven-insulting purpose, God may
- wedge aside. I would up heart, were it not like lead. But my whole clock's
- run down; my heart the all-controlling weight, I have no key to lift again.
- [ A burst of revelry from the forecastle.] Oh, God! to sail with such a
- heathen crew that have small touch of human mothers in them! Whelped
- somewhere by the sharkish sea. The white whale is their demigorgon. Hark!
- the infernal orgies! that revelry is forward! mark the unfaltering silence
- aft! Methinks it pictures life. Foremost through the sparkling sea shoots on
- the gay, embattled, bantering bow, but only to drag dark Ahab after it, where
- he broods within his sternward cabin, builded over the dead water of the
- wake, and further on, hunted by its wolfish gurglings. The long howl thrills
-
- me through! Peace! ye revellers, and set the watch! Oh, life! 'tis in an
- hour like this, with soul beat down and held to knowledge, --as wild,
- untutored things are forced to feed --Oh, life! 'tis now that I do feel the
- latent horror in thee! but 'tis not me! that horror's out of me! and with
- the soft feeling of the human in me, yet will I try to fight ye, ye grim,
- phantom futures! Stand by me, hold me, bind me, O ye blessed influences!
- .. <p 168 >
-