{fb1000000After you have finished reading Spectrum issue three, you may find yourself at a loss for things to do. We suggest you hold a party to celebrate, and that's why we have prepared this little article to help things run smoothly.
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Reason
{fb1000000First, you need a reason for a party. The fact that you have read all of Spectrum may be enough for some people, but the onset of somebody's birthday can also spawn such an event, as can the getting together of say a group of _Star Trek_"NonComp.Music+Film.SF-Films" fans (not us!). Members of SR have partaken in such diverse 'parties' as a 'UHF' party, an 'X-Files' party (I {fb1904000still{fb1000000 haven't seen a full episode) and various others (I can't mention any of the ones that Russ has been to, because this is a family mag!).
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Consequence
{fb1000000So, you have a flimsy excuse, now all you need are people funding and a location. A popular enough person (such as yourself) should have no problem in getting together a group of people (but you should be aware that the new criminal injustice bill dictates that a gathering of 12 or more people listening to loud music and drinking through the night is considered illegal). Make sure that everybody chips in for 'drink' money, and then pop down your supermarket/ local food discount outlet (always cheaper than the off-license) with a couple of cars and fill a couple of trolleys with booze. You should also purchase some snack foodstuffs at this point. Peanuts are not a good idea - they get everywhere, but sausage rolls are a firm favourite all round, as are crisps (cheap ones) and those ones in the tubes, er, oh aye, 'Pringles'. Ensure that some- body of at least eighteen buys all this, as it is illegal for children to buy intoxicating liquor (and SR do not endorse it). You can hand the food on to a female at this point, as they are much better at managing that sort of thing :-).
Okay, so now you're home with £100s worth of booze, and nowhere to go. Well, this is a stage many people get to, so we hope we can help you avoid it. Always plan {fb1904000where{fb1000000 you are going to hold this party. Anyone with a large enough shed at the bottom of the garden could use that. If you intend to hold it at a house, make sure you take {fb1904000all{fb1000000 damagable goods out (we often hold our parties in a disused pig-shed, and it's great 'cos we don't have to clear up all the beer cans and fag ends afterwards - we just leave them there until the next one!). Now simply work out {fb1904000when{fb1000000 you intend to have the party, and let {fb1904000everybody{fb1000000 know!
Next on your list should be what music you will be playing, and how. If you intend to use your old ghetto-blaster then forget it. You will need at least 60W of music power to keep everyone happy (the volume always goes up as the night goes on). Avoid distorting any equipment you may have though, as this sounds awful. All music should be on CD or digital tape, so you don't get any annoying hiss. Our tried and tested system is two CD Discmans (great for mixing) connected through a meaty pre-amp to a thirty year old record player. This is then pumped though 2 ordinary 40W hi-fi speakers, a cheap tweeter (this is unplugged as the volume rises), and an old feed-back speaker from a bass guitar (excellent for the bass response). As for {fb1904000what{fb1000000 to play, I'd get lots of albums and play maybe one or two of the best songs off each (but not two tunes from the same band one after one the other). This will require somebody to monitor the music for most of night; we take it in turns to do this. Sounds Riscy's recommended list is as follows:
Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
Green Day - Basket Case
Senser - What's going on
_PWEI_"NonComp.Music+Film.PWEI1" - 92°F
Beastie Boys - Sabotage
Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the name
Freaky Realistic - Cosmic Love Vibes
The Prodigy - No Good (STD)
Run DMC - Walk this way
Blur - Parklife
etc...
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On the night...
{fb1000000As host, make sure that everybody is happy and having a good time. Hand round the beers, and soon everybody will be talking and dancing. Ensure that no illegal substances are smoked on the premises; tell them to go outside and do it.
Above all, have a great time. Please note that SR take no responsibility for any damage to your house/body at any party you hold. If you are holding such a party within a few miles of a member of SR, then it is an offence not to let them know about it. Next issue we will cover the outdoor party, complete with barbecue and summer games.
