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- From: may@hpcesma.ce.hp.com (Elaine May)
- Newsgroups: soc.motss
- Subject: Re: Advice needed-Bad comming out experience
- Date: 28 Jan 1993 02:28:57 GMT
- Organization: HP Corporate Engineering - Palo Alto, CA
- Lines: 27
- Message-ID: <1k7gd9INNhp6@hpscit.sc.hp.com>
- References: <GANDALF.93Jan27201334@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu>
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-
- Thomas M Farrell (gandalf@dworkin.ccs.northeastern.edu) wrote:
- : Well, if he's "almost 18," he can stop going as soon as he IS 18, and the
- : doctor and parents have no right to force him to go.
-
- Be this as it may, based on my experience and that of many of my friends,
- it is hard to break out of this. Parents like this have a variety of
- coercive methods at their disposal:
- 1. Financial -- They can cut you off financially, or cut you out of their will.
- 2. Emotional -- After you become financially independent and that stick
- doesn't work anymore, the coercive parent still has the emotional ploy.
- Typically this starts with tears and "how could you do this to me",
- progresses to "don't tell <X>, you know s/he is not in good health",
- to "I will never talk to you again."
- 3. Legal -- If you're a minor or you have children, your parents can pull
- out the legal stick and have you committed to a mental institution, or
- have your kids taken away from you by a homophobic court.
-
- This coercion is *damn* difficult to deal with when you're in your 20's
- and have a good support network of friends. When you're 17 and live with
- 2 homophobic roommates, it's *very* difficult. Which is not to say that
- he won't have to deal with this, but I think it is reasonable to recognize
- that this is not a simple, straightforward situation. This guy has a long
- road ahead of him, and, having traveled much of it myself, I have a lot of
- sympathy for him.
-
- Elaine May Hewlett-Packard Corporate Engineering
- may@hpcesma.ce.hp.com Palo Alto, California
-