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- From: pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo)
- Newsgroups: soc.couples
- Subject: Re: A Question...
- Keywords: last names
- Message-ID: <106120@netnews.upenn.edu>
- Date: 22 Jan 93 01:26:09 GMT
- Sender: news@netnews.upenn.edu
- Organization: University of Pennsylvania
- Lines: 36
- Nntp-Posting-Host: eniac.seas.upenn.edu
-
- Here's a question that I'd like people's opinions on: What do you
- think about the practice of a woman taking the man's last name when
- they get married?
-
- Personally, I think that it's a good idea for a married couple to
- share a last name, both for the sake of convinience and because I
- think it is a clear reminder that they are family to each other.
- *However,* I really object to the idea that it must be the woman who
- gives up her name to take the man's name. In "the bad old days" this
- was symbolic of the fact that she was his legal property, and, in the
- eyes of the law, they were one person -- him. But why do we still
- need to do this? What's wrong with both of them taking her last name,
- or a totally new one? Or some combination of the two?
-
- It seems like a lot of couples I know have gone the route of having
- the woman either keep her own last name or having the woman take hers
- hyphenated with his. Rarely does the man take a hyphenate name. Does
- it seem strange or unfair to anyone else that the woman is expected to
- make the change, but never the man?
-
- I know a few men who seem to think it is solely a woman's problem and
- solely her decision. She has the option of keeping her name or taking
- his or hyphenating them, but he does not expect to have to do anything
- at all.
-
- Personally, I think it is deeply symbolic to change one's name and
- take another's. I see it as very appropriate in marriage. But I
- don't think I'd be willing to make that sacrifice for someone who
- wasn't willing to make that sacrifice for me.
-
- Any reactions?
-
- ajp
-
-
-
-