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- From: wbm@freedom.stanford.edu (Wally Mann)
- Subject: Re: Groups of 1
- Message-ID: <1993Jan28.191503.18547@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU>
- Originator: wbm@freedom.Stanford.EDU
- Sender: news@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU
- Organization: CS Department, Stanford University, California, USA
- Distribution: usa
- Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 19:15:03 GMT
- Lines: 45
-
- Although for the most part I prefer being in a group (sometimes
- really BIG groups ... I don't like size regulations ... but that's
- another thread), I often hike alone. I've been on several trips
- where I was out for 10 days and two of them involved some measure
- of risk while hiking off trail on steep terrain.
-
- I disagree that one should necessarily do all those things that
- one is supposed to do ... let others know where you are going,
- stay well within your limits, don't change plans, etc, etc.
-
- I think it's a matter of choice and consequence. There are so
- many pressures today to remove risk from our lives and simultaneously
- remove accountability. We don't have to think about our own
- safety. Our world is constructed such that anything dangerous will
- either flash red or be off limits. IF something goes wrong, it's
- someone elses fault and the ambulance will be here in 5 minutes.
- Call 911.
-
- Going alone for me is in part to really feel what it is like to
- be accountable for my own well being. I don't want to set it up
- so that I feel the long, comforting arm there to protect me. I
- want a vacation from that. And I don't want to get hurt either.
- But I want that responsibility on my own shoulders for a change.
- This isn't the only way to get that feeling, it's just the way
- that I choose to do it.
-
- I have also been in situations where friends and loved ones are
- visibly upset at the thought of my putting myself at risk. In
- the past I've responded brusquely to what felt like inappropriate
- mothering. Now it's clear, like Hal pointed out, that my risk
- is a risk for those around me. At a deeper level, they aren't
- concerned about me, but rather are reacting to a very real threat
- to their own well being. Even in friendship, my killing myself
- impacts the other person negatively.
-
- So now I have a bit more compassion for what they go through.
- And, I still want to do this. It's important to me for whatever
- reason. So I have to ask my friends, essentially, to let me
- have this. To let me cut myself off from the safety net for
- a while. And I try to realize that my actions have impact
- beyond myself. (potentially including the local rescue team,
- which I'm on)
-
- Wally
-
-