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- From: janem@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com (Jane Marcus)
- Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 21:22:39 GMT
- Subject: Re: pre-teen sex play
- Message-ID: <4570320@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com>
- Organization: HP Fort Collins, Co.
- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!sdd.hp.com!hpscit.sc.hp.com!hplextra!hpfcso!hpfcdc!janem
- Newsgroups: misc.kids
- References: <4570318@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com>
- Lines: 32
-
- >While I can understand your concern about AIDS and all, I don't
- >think this is particularly good advice. The boys in the original
- >post were, what, 11 years old? And while you could argue that kids
- >are having sex earlier&earlier, I would counter-argue that telling
- >an 11 year old boy's mother that you saw him engaged in sexplay with
- >one of his male friends would be _A LOT_ more harmful than helpful...
-
- I see your point. It would be bad for parents to go non-linear about
- this incident, and this could be harmful to the kids. But if
- it's the case that parents can't deal with their kids sexuality, then
- there is every likelihood that a stealthy approach rather than a direct
- one would fail. The parents will very likely ignore a suggestion to
- talk to the kids about sex. Many people are embarassed to talk about
- sex with their kids. I think that it is too important that kids get
- the information they need to make wise decisions about sex. Giving
- information is the parents' job and they are failing their kids if they
- don't do this job; when the kids are experimenting with sex, they are
- in danger of their lives if they do not know the facts. If telling the parent
- about the incident is needed to spur her into action, then I think
- this should be done. But certainly an abbridged account of what happened,
- rather than a detailed one, would be in order.
-
- In the case that the parent is very open and communicates well with her
- child on sensitive topics, and you are certain that a stealthy approach
- will definitely achieve the desired effect (ie. that parents talks to kid
- about sex), then I agree this would be better. But even in this case,
- I would follow up with the parents to make sure that they talk to the kid.
- This is a dangerous world and it is irrelevant in my mind that the kids
- were only 11 (or whatever).
-
- Jane Marcus
- jane@apollo.hp.com
-