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  1. Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
  2. Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!auvm!PLAINS.NODAK.EDU!SACKMAN
  3. Return-Path: <@OHSTVMA.ACS.OHIO-STATE.EDU:21765EDT@MSU.BITNET>
  4. Approved-By:  EDTECH Moderator <21765EDT@MSU.BITNET>
  5. Message-ID: <EDTECH%93012223560713@OHSTVMA.ACS.OHIO-STATE.EDU>
  6. Newsgroups: bit.listserv.edtech
  7. Approved: NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
  8. Date:         Fri, 22 Jan 1993 23:53:06 EST
  9. Sender:       EDTECH - Educational Technology <EDTECH@OHSTVMA.BITNET>
  10. From:         Gleason Sackman <sackman@plains.nodak.edu>
  11. Subject:      SOME HUMOR (from HELP-NET)
  12. Lines: 68
  13.  
  14. ---------- Text of forwarded message ----------
  15. Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 15:12:26 -0700
  16. From: PHIL@mash.colorado.edu
  17. To: Multiple recipients of list HELP-NET <HELP-NET@templevm.bitnet>
  18. Subject: SOME HUMOR
  19.  
  20.                         *** BASIC COMPUTER VIRUSES***
  21.  
  22.  
  23. FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS:     Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
  24.                               little units, each of which do
  25.                               practically nothing, but all of which
  26.                               claim to be the most important part of
  27.                               the computer.
  28.  
  29. GALLUP VIRUS:  Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38
  30.                percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus
  31.                or minus a 3.5 margin of error).
  32.  
  33. PAUL REVERE VIRUS:  This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around.
  34.                     It warns you of impending hard disk attack --
  35.                     once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
  36.  
  37. POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:    Never calls itself a "virus," but
  38.                               instead refers to itself as an
  39.                               "electronic microorganism."
  40.  
  41. AT&T VIRUS:    Every three minutes it tells you what great service
  42.                you're getting.
  43.  
  44. MCI VIRUS:     Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying
  45.                too much for the AT&T virus.
  46.  
  47. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS:   Nothing works, but all your
  48.                               diagnostic software says everything
  49.                               is fine.
  50.  
  51. CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:     Computer locks up, screen splits vertically
  52.                          with a message appearing on each half
  53.                          blaming the other side for the problem.
  54.  
  55. STAR TREK VIRUS:    Invades your system in places where no virus has
  56.                     gone before.
  57.  
  58. QUANTUM LEAP VIRUS: One day your PC is a laptop, the next day it
  59.                     is a Macintosh, then it's a Nintendo.
  60.  
  61.  
  62. Thanks to Mary Chaitt, University of California, Los Angeles
  63. <POMMC@UCLAAIS.BITNET>.
  64.  
  65.  
  66.  
  67.                               Phil Helms
  68.  
  69.                               Community College Computer Services
  70.                               Denver, Colorado
  71.  
  72.                               Internet: PHIL@MASH.Colorado.EDU
  73.  
  74.                               Time: GMT-0700 (US: Mountain Standard Time)
  75.  
  76. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  77. Gleason Sackman                           BBS:       sackman@sendit.nodak.edu
  78. Coordinator                               Internet:  sackman@plains.nodak.edu
  79. SENDIT - NoDak's K-12 Telcom Network      Bitnet:    sackman@plains.bitnet
  80. BOX 5164,  NDSU Computer Center           Voice: (701)237-8109
  81. Fargo, ND  58105                          Fax:   (701)237-8541
  82.