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- Newsgroups: bit.listserv.banyan-l
- Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 16:20:00 CST
- Sender: Banyan Networks Discussion List <BANYAN-L@AKRONVM.BITNET>
- From: JZeevi%users%swri03@D26VS046A.CCF.SWRI.EDU
- Subject: re: Programming.
- Lines: 87
-
- This filtered across my e-mail, so I thought I'd pass it along. We get so
- tied up in our work, perhaps this will help "smell the roses"
-
- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- {A recent discussion in comp.programming brought this old gem to mind. I
- have done some minor editing; the original source and author are unknown
- to me. - David Ruggiero}
-
-
- If architects had to work like programmers
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Dear Mr. Architect:
-
- Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so
- you should use your discretion.
-
- My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure
- the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
- When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
- what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so
- that I can arbitrarily pick one.
-
- Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the
- one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all
- the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen
- vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough
- insulation in them).
-
- As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance
- costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost
- features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not
- to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
-
- Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are
- used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the
- most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should
- be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
-
- To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family,
- make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My
- mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be
- designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh
- all of thses options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however,
- retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
-
- Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
- develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time,
- for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet.
- However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
-
- Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the
- house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and
- specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the
- house to be under roof within 48 hours.
-
- While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that
- sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should
- have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before
- you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my
- area that they like the features this house has.
-
- I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last
- year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like
- in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful
- engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without
- impacting the final cost.
-
- Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this
- time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction
- bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any
- increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
-
- You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this!
- To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such
- freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact
- me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
-
- PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
- instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
- responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
- and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
- responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
-
- PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please
- advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
-
- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-