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- From: RJKOPP@SUVM.BITNET
- Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
- Subject: Self-stimulation as self-therapy
- Message-ID: <AUTISM%93012612084873@SJUVM.STJOHNS.EDU>
- Date: 26 Jan 93 16:25:34 GMT
- Sender: SJU Autism and Developmental Disablities List
- <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
- Lines: 73
- Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
- In-Reply-To: Your MAIL dated Tue, 26 Jan 1993 09:49:22 EST
-
- Lisa and others on the list,
- I did come out maybe sounding too permissive about stimming, I guess it's
- in reaction to people who have told us that any is bad, and quite a few at
- times have said it!
- I think there are times when my daughter needs it. But it may be at times
- or places that are in-appropriate and I would definitly not permit it then,
- (give some other direction if need be). So maybe I sounded alot more permissiv
- than I actually am, its just hard to see that a kid sometimes is not being
- allowed to do anything that may help them cope. I have seen times when people
- have tried to stop the stiming and they didn't realize that what they are
- trying to get her to work on is the problem that is causing the stress that
- causes her to want to self stim, in other words she is stiming to close out
- the activity or direction they are giving, they needed to try a different
- approach. When I told them and they tried something else it was much easier
- and it was therefore easier to prevent or stop the self stiming.
-
- As for telling my daughter that such behavior is not good and may not
- be good in a situation, this will have no effect. She likes the company of
- people, and yet she doesn't totally seem to be able to stop behaviors that
- will interfere with it. There are times that we have also said we cannot do
- such and such because of certain things, but it doesn't stop her from doing
- them. I think she may just becoming aware of it in some ways, because during
- a concert last week there was another boy in the singing group that was rocking
- back and forth on his feet and she seemed quite interested in him. It's kind
- of good because it gives us some indication that now she is aware of it in
- other people, we never could be sure what she thought about it with with
- herself, so now it's kind of a lever to try to talk to her about it with.
-
- Another thing is that my daughter at this time rarely does it in unappro-
- priate situations, never at school, never in public and not in the house when
- we have company. It seems she is very aware of the fact that home is our
- house, just as we are her parents as opposed to teachers and friends.
- Actions are very different in different environs. Now we are trying to
- work on what is appropriate at home and in different areas of the house.
-
- I just think that when some people come off so hard against anything and
- don't qualify it (such as inappropriate here, appropriate at home in private)
- that it is like taking away someones way to cope. Many parents I think would
- take what I have been told by some, very literal and would not permit it
- anywhere thus depriving the child of an easy way to vent frustration or to
- calm down when they need to. When things get difficult for the child they
- may not be able to figure out the appropriate way to vent it and your trying
- direct them at that point may make it worse if they need to vent it NOW.
- When my daughter has hard times coping we often send her to her room to
- calm down. She gets used to this routine and it works, if we went up to stop
- her from bouncing or rocking she would get alot more upset.
-
- I'm not so sure this is that much different that what you said, but
- I don't know if I might be as hard on it as you. But then again I think
- my daughter is different in quite a few ways and different kids require
- different direction, so we do what we feel is appropriate with her and
- try to give her the opportunities to control some of her environment herself.
- I'm not so sure I would need to be as hard to prevent inappropriate stuff
- in public places, she understands that and rarely does, unless she is quite
- sick. Sometimes I find that the hardest things to show her is how some
- situations at home with just us are different than other times at home with
- just us. Such as why being naked upstairs in her room after a bath is
- more appropriate than in the living room. We keep trying but so far I
- haven't found the key to make our descriptions effective. Rewards etc
- also don't seem to work here either. But then again anything we have developed
- thus far has taken a while, eventualy it will come, it just takes time.
- It's probably going to be like many other things that when she understands
- it herself and accepts an explanation or reason, we'll never have to go
- through it again.
-
- Well that's been alot more than I planned on typing but that's the way it
- goes I guess.
-
- Thanks,
- Ray Kopp
- Syracuse, New York
- Internet:rjkopp@mailbox.syr.edu
- Bitnet:RJKOPP@SUVM.BITNET
-