home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
- Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
- Path: sparky!uunet!paladin.american.edu!auvm!UKANVM.BITNET!GOLEM
- Message-ID: <AUTISM%93012215163522@SJUVM.STJOHNS.EDU>
- Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
- Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 13:57:23 CST
- Sender: SJU Autism and Developmental Disablities List
- <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
- From: Jim Sinclair <GOLEM@UKANVM.BITNET>
- Subject: Re: A Little Help From My Friends
- In-Reply-To: Message of Wed,
- 20 Jan 1993 01:14:14 GMT from <jbadner@WORLD.STD.COM>
- Lines: 48
-
- On Wed, 20 Jan 1993 01:14:14 GMT JA Badner said:
- >This reminds me of an incident that happened when I was visiting my
- >family for Xmas. My nonautistic 4 year old niece, Becca, has a
- >friend, Brian, who lives next door to my mother. On Xmas day when
- >Becca and Abby, my autistic 6 year old niece, came over, they were
- >invited to Brian's house. Both wanted me to come with them (both
- >wanted me to do everything with them that day :-)). However, while
- >we were there, Abby spent the whole time with me and didn't interact
- >with Brian or Becca but was very excited about being at Brian's house.
- >It is hard to say if Abby really wanted to play with Becca and Brian
- >but she was definitely more excited being with me at Brian's house
- >than she was being with me at my mother's house. Brian tried to
- >play with her but didn't have the patience to wait for her to
- >adjust to him.
-
- I'm having a rather involved discussion elsewhere about "contact".
- Basically, it can be much more intense and more complex (and, at least
- for me, have much more depth once I finally learn how to do it) for
- autistic people. For Abby, being at Brian's house may have been enough
- Brian-contact for now. Maybe she would have played if he'd had the
- patience to wait for her to adjust, or maybe she didn't want to play with
- him, it was enough just to be at his house. The fact that she didn't
- interact doesn't mean it wasn't a meaningful experience for her, or that
- she won't be more interactive if she goes back to Brian's house another
- time. It's also possible that she wasn't particularly interested in
- Brian at all, either in terms of playing with him or of being in his
- space, but was focused on being with *you* in a place where she hadn't
- been with you before. Finding out that Aunt Judy is always Aunt Judy no
- matter where you see her is also an important and exciting discovery.
-
- Here's another quote from Donna's book. It's also in the epilogue, the
- paragraph immediately preceding the one I quoted about abuse earlier
- today: "Allowing me my privacy and space was the most beneficial thing I
- ever got. As much as many of the things I did were dangerous and as much
- as people could sense my isolation, this isolation was not from being
- left to my own devices. It stemmed from the isolation of my inner world
- and *only the unthreatening nature of privacy and space would inspire
- the courage to explore the world and get out of my world under glass
- step by step.*" (Emphasis added)
-
- A child who watches but doesn't interact, or who stays around people for
- a while and then abruptly leaves, or who goes to new places but then
- appears indifferent to what normal people think are the salient features
- of being in those places, may be exploring steps that most people just
- jump over without noticing. Let her explore. Someday she may even lead
- you to places you never imagined exist.
-
- JS
-