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- Newsgroups: alt.feminism
- Path: sparky!uunet!microsoft!hexnut!jenk
- From: jenk@microsoft.com (Jen Kilmer)
- Subject: Re: Verbs and gender connotations
- Message-ID: <1993Jan22.084035.25495@microsoft.com>
- Date: 22 Jan 93 08:40:35 GMT
- Organization: Microsoft Corporation
- References: <1jibvcINNhdn@gap.caltech.edu> <3186@tymix.Tymnet.COM> <1jl21rINNlh1@gap.caltech.edu>
- Lines: 93
-
- (Michal Leah Peri) writes:
- >(Duane Hentrich) writes:
- >
- >>(Michal Leah Peri) writes:
- >>|>(Duane Hentrich) writes:
- >>|> >(Michal Leah Peri) writes:
- >>|> >|> Because society deems it worse to fuck someone who's drunk than to be
- >>|> >|> fucked while one is oneself drunk.
- >>|>
- >>|> >The above statement seems to make grave implications about the subject and
- >>|> >object of the verb 'to fuck'. I propose that the implications (man fucks,
- >>|> >woman is fucked; man - active, woman - passive) are wrong. Either partner
- >>|> >can be physically passive during coitus and thus conception is not
- >>|> >predicated on men being active and women being passive, no matter the
- >>|> >social norms.
-
- Of course. Where did Michal state that MEN fuck and WOMEN are fucked? As
- I recall, Michal was answering a question which used the verb "to fuck",
- and therfore used it in her reply.
-
- BTW, You seem to be saying that Michal said, "Because society deems
- it worse for a man to fuck a woman who's drunk that for a woman to be
- fucked while she is herself drunk". While that is *ONE* reading of what
- she said, it is *ONLY* one. By choosing to use the pronoun "one", she said
- that, AND she said
-
- Because society deems it worse for a woman to fuck a man who's drunk
- than for a man to be fucked while he is himself drunk.
-
- AND
-
- Because society deems it worse for a woman to fuck a woman who's drunk
- than for a woman to be fucked while she is herself drunk.
-
- AND
-
- Because society deems it worse for a man to fuck a man who's drunk
- than for a man to be fucked while he is himself drunk.
-
- >>The implications are in the use of the verb "to fuck". Especially the
- >>implication that to fuck is negative and a male action, whereas to be
- >>fucked is negative, a badge of victimhood and a female action. These
- >>are cultural here in America, and where I could believe many don't use
- >>the term in this way it is a part of English.
- >>Sometimes gender slips into the back door.
-
- Which is why, I think, Michal deliberately used -gender-neutral-terminology-.
-
- This pushes a button on me. Like many other women here on the net,
- I have spent years pursuing "men's" interests and working at "men's" jobs.
- I have been told directly and indirectly that I shouldn't like math,
- or computers, or major in computer science, or work at microsoft, or
- _succeed_ at microsoft, because "girls/women don't do that". With this
- goes the fact, and it _IS_ a fact, that the typical CS major/support
- tech/test engineer is a man, which means that I stand out.
-
- Of course, so do people of color, particularily non-asians. But no one
- talks about "hey, whites, let's do this next" or "hey, we need to hire
- a new white" or "gee, let's get the whites together and do ________".
- Yet it's assumed that "guys", "men" and "manpower" routinely mean me.
-
- All this adds up to the fact that when someone says something using
- gender-neutral terms, then I accept it as meaning either gender. And
- when I state something in gender-neutral terms, I *DAMN* well expect
- others to listen to WHAT I SAID and not quibble out the goddamn culture
- which is totally fucked up on gender roles anyway. I mean, do you REALLY
- think that men can't be as nurturing and loving and caring as women???
- Do you really think that men MUST be into making money and MUST make
- more than who they date? If you do, there's no hope for you in this
- area.
-
- I am also, btw, committed to the proposition that most of the cultural
- gender-role differences are CULTURAL and not innate. Men & women ain't
- all that different, folks. And, most importantly,
-
- how any individual acts is not necessarily dictated
- by their gender.
-
- >Do other posters agree with the assessment that the verb "to fuck"
- >irrevocably carries masculine gender?
-
- Of course not. Neither does "get laid", as evidenced in "Thelma and
- Louise" (From memory- Louise: "Oh good. I'm so happy for you - you finally
- got laid properly." Thelma: "Now I see what all the fuss is about!" :)
-
- >What other verbs carry gender connotation?
-
- "to menstruate" is the only one I can think of which dictates gender.
- Connotations vary, and are usually inaccurate.
-
- -jen
-
-
-