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  1. Newsgroups: comp.os.os2.advocacy
  2. Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!rpi!utcsri!geac!r-node!zooid!kovarski
  3. From: Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org>
  4. Subject: Re: -= Signature Recommendations =-
  5. Organization: ZOOiD BBS
  6. Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 07:22:17 GMT
  7. Message-ID: <1993Jan7.072217.1877@zooid.guild.org>
  8. References: <1993Jan2.202354.16020@zooid.guild.org>
  9. Lines: 210
  10.  
  11. Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org> writes:
  12. >                        The Funniest Lines
  13. >                        ==================
  14. >
  15. >Here is a collection of Lines. You can use any of them in your
  16. >signatures files. This list will be updated regularly. Enjoy...
  17. >
  18. >"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
  19. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  20. >"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates
  21. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  22. >"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
  23. > system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987
  24. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  25. >"OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
  26. >next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this 
  27. >system." Bill Gates, 1988
  28. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  29. >"In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that
  30. >out..." - Bill Gates, 1992 
  31. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  32. >"While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."     
  33. >- Philippe Kahn, 1992
  34. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  35. >"New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat." 
  36. >- Datamation, 1992
  37. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  38. >" Why are manhole covers round?
  39. >  How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"
  40. >- Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992
  41. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  42. >(Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!
  43. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  44. >2.0 is better than 1.
  45. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  46. >Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
  47. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  48. >Bugs come in through open Windows.
  49. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  50. >Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
  51. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  52. >Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS!  Try today's OS/2!
  53. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  54. >Dos: Venerable.  Windows: Vulnerable.  OS/2: Viable.
  55. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  56. >Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.
  57. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  58. >DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
  59. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  60. >Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
  61. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  62. >Friends don't let friends use Windows.
  63. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  64. >Have you crashed your Windows today?
  65. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  66. >He who laughs last uses OS/2.
  67. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  68. >How do you make Windows faster?  Throw it harder!
  69. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  70. >How do you spell relief? OS/2!
  71. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  72. >I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
  73. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  74. >I love running Windows! NOT!
  75. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  76. >I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*
  77. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  78. >I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!
  79. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  80. >If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
  81. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  82. >If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
  83. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  84. >If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
  85. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  86. >It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...
  87. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  88. >MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
  89. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  90. >My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
  91. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  92. >One man's Windows are another man's walls.
  93. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  94. >OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows.
  95. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  96. >OS/2 in '92!
  97. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  98. >OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
  99. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  100. >OS/2: Logic, not magic.
  101. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  102. >OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
  103. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  104. >OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
  105. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  106. >OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
  107. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  108. >OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
  109. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  110. >OS/2: The human way of Computing!
  111. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  112. >OS/2: Your brain.  Windows: Your brain on drugs.
  113. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  114. >See the Future; See OS/2.  Be the Future; Run OS/2.
  115. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  116. >The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
  117. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  118. >The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
  119. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  120. >To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
  121. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  122. >Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
  123. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  124. >Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!
  125. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  126. >Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
  127. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  128. >What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
  129. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  130. >What's so great that people are switching to Windows?
  131. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  132. >What?!?  DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
  133. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  134. >When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
  135. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  136. >Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
  137. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  138. >WindowError:001 Windows loaded.  System in danger.
  139. >WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
  140. >WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every 
  141. >                file.
  142. >WindowError:004 Erronious error.  Nothing wrong.
  143. >WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted.  System confused.
  144. >WindowError:006 Malicious error.  Desqview found on drive.
  145. >WindowError:007 System price error.  Inadequate money spent.
  146. >WindowError:008 Broken window.  Watch for glass fragments.
  147. >WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd.  God knows what has happened.
  148. >WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow.  Mailbox full.
  149. >WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space.  Need 50 meg minimum.
  150. >WindowError:00C Memory hog error.  More ram needed.  More!  More!
  151. >WindowError:00D Window closed.  Do not look out.
  152. >WindowError:00E Window open, do not look in.
  153. >WindowError:00F Unexplained error.  Please tell us how it happened.
  154. >WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
  155. >WindowError:014 Nonexistent error.  This cannot really be happening.
  156. >WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows.  Try the door.
  157. >WindowError:016 Door locked.  Try control-alt-delete
  158. >WindowError:017 Keyboard locked.  Try anything you can think of.
  159. >WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error.  System destroyed.
  160. >WindowError:019 User error.  It's not our fault.  Is not!  Is not!
  161. >WindowError:01A Operating system overwritten.  Terribly sorry.
  162. >WindowError:01B Illegal error.  Do not get this error.
  163. >WindowError:01C Uncertainty error.  Uncertainty may be inadequate.
  164. >WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code.  System crashed.
  165. >WindowError:01E Timing error.  Please wait.  And wait.  And wait.
  166. >WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
  167. >WindowError:020 Error recording error codes.  Remaining errors lost.
  168. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  169. >Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!
  170. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  171. >Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!
  172. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  173. >Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT
  174. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  175. >Windows is a pane
  176. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  177. >Windows is great if you can make it work.
  178. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  179. >Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
  180. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  181. >Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
  182. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  183. >Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
  184. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  185. >Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
  186. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  187. >Windows NT? New Technology?  I don't think so...
  188. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  189. >Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."
  190. >----------------------------------------------------------------------- 
  191. >Windows: A View to be Killed.
  192. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  193. >Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
  194. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  195. >Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
  196. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  197. >Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  198. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  199. >Windows: The CP/M of the future!
  200. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  201. >Windows: The Gates of hell.
  202. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  203. >Windows?  Homey don't play that!
  204. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  205. >Windows?  WINDOWS?!?  Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...
  206. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  207. >Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
  208. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  209. >You're throwing it all out the Windows!
  210. >------------------------------------------------------------------------
  211. >                           
  212. >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=END OF FILE=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
  213. > 
  214. >
  215.  
  216.  
  217. Another addition...
  218.  
  219. Windows: It's not pretty. It's not ugly. It's pretty ugly!
  220.  
  221.