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- From: rks@cscns.com (Dancing With synergy)
- Subject: Re: One hell of a wake-up call.
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- References: <1993Jan11.153709.25733@watson.ibm.com>
- Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 15:52:36 GMT
- Lines: 84
-
- Scott C. Kennedy (sck@watson.ibm.com) wrote:
-
- : He feels very strongly about the stubbornness and "un-christian" behavior
- : of the people who oppose the congregation's choice for pastor. He explained
- : that he "wanted to become gay" (his words) to make himself a target for the
- : injustices that are committed against homosexuals.
-
- I can understand his outrage but one can not just 'become' homosexual. It
- is not like that.
-
- : 1: He is not homosexual. (I don't believe he is in denial) He vows that he would
- : not be unfaithful to his wife and not take a lover, but "would have a partner."
- : Whomever his partner is could get seriously hurt. (mentally and emotionally) and
- : by "becoming gay" he is saying that he believes homosexuality is a person's
- : choice not something that can only be a certain way. (I don't know how else to
- : say this, but I believe that a homosexual person is homosexual at birth, and
- : there is nothing that can be done to make that person "be" heterosexual.)
-
- I agree with you entirely. As a bisexual, I know that I have just always
- been that way. It is not something I acquired because it is 'in' or because
- I wanted it. My gay acquaintances make it very clear that they have never
- been any other way.
-
-
- : 2: He seems to wish to be a martyr, but I think his method will hurt and insult
- : more than help and aid. The community that he wishes to help may view him
- : as an outsider or worse an enemy. And therefore he coul cast off some of his
- : friends to only have his new friends shun him. (Not a very tenable situation)
-
- I think your first line says it all. The best thing he can do is to contact
- lesbigay-friendly organizations and work with them. If he can find an
- organization that deals with civil rights in general. He can actually be
- *more* effective, making a honest statement about how he feels and his
- perspective rather than trying to become something else.
-
- Almost any university has a lesbigay organization. He could contact
- them and find out where he could be most effective. He could call Janie
- and ask her which organizations could be helpful. I would suggest FLAG.
- That should be listed in the phone book.
-
- I understand his perspective. I really do. When I was a late teenager, I
- was outraged about the way Jews have been treated throughout history.
- I went so far as to study for conversion to Judaism. In retrospect, I
- can see that it was a stupid attempt to become something I am not. Somehow
- I thought I could make more of a difference from *inside* the oppressed
- group rather than from the outside. I finally figured out the way *I*
- treat others is the way to begin dealing with oppression. Wanting to
- become gay or Jewish or poor or... is not the way to solve the problem.
- It is just as naive as wanting to become Black in order to fight Black
- oppression.
-
- I hope your father will re-think this whole thing. I applaude him for
- caring as much as he apparently does but he needs to find something
- really effective. Reacting from emotion and impulse won't help anyone.
- It will just hurt him. And presuming that he could find a partner who
- would agree to this "plan", both could get hurt.
-
- I am making an assumption here that your father is a straight, White male.
- He probably thinks he can't be effective without actually experiencing
- the oppression for himself. And he is right. We will never understand
- it on a personal level. I have experienced some of it as a woman but
- even that pales in comparison to some of the oppression going on. And I
- used to detest my own heritage because we are the primary oppressors.
- (I am Scandinavian -- the true "aryans" according to most. Blonde,
- Blue-eyed Super-Race. Bleah.) The reality is that none of us is totally
- to blame. It is economic oppression that creates racial/etc. oppression.
- That is the place to begin the fight.
-
- : 3: There must be better ways for a heterosexual person to fight the injustices
- : against homosexuals than to artifically become one.
-
- You are absolutely right. Why don't you print out all of the responses
- you get and give/mail them to him?
-
-
- : Am I off base?
-
- Hardly.
-
-
-
- //gisle
-
-
-