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- From: anthropo@carina.unm.edu (Dominick V. Zurlo)
- Newsgroups: alt.support,soc.motss
- Subject: People thinking you're gay or straight when you're not...
- Date: 12 Jan 1993 17:01:10 GMT
- Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
- Lines: 46
- Distribution: world
- Message-ID: <1iutgmINN9ll@lynx.unm.edu>
- References: <1993Jan11.153709.25733@watson.ibm.com> <1iungcINNn06@rave.larc.nasa.gov>
- NNTP-Posting-Host: carina.unm.edu
-
- In article <1iungcINNn06@rave.larc.nasa.gov> carlson@ab24.larc.nasa.gov (Ann Carlson) writes:
- >....
- >Along other lines, but still connected to the thread of who one is seen
- >with. I've mentioned a close friend who is a gay man on this group before.
- >He used to be a bit uncomfortable being seen too often with me because
- >he was afraid people would think we were a "thing." Even though he's
- >pretty closeted, he doesn't like people to link him romantically in their
- >minds with women. Well, Sunday night as we were driving off to a party
- >together we saw some friends and he groans; "Oh darn, they saw me driving
- >off with you, and you have such a reputation for being a gay friendly,
- >now they'll think I'm gay!" I just laughed.
- >--
-
- I used to go to the local flea market every Sat. morning with this female
- friend of min. We'd walk around, checking out the junk and the treasures,
- hand-in-hand. I always found it amusing that all the men I'd see the night
- before at the bar would just go bug-eyed when they saw us together. We'd
- not only be hand-in-hand, but often I'd have my arm wrapped around her
- shoulders and we looked very much like a "thing." SO, what ended up
- happening is that many people began asking me if I was bi. Well, I'm not,
- but having been one of the few people to stand up for my bi friends,
- everyone assumed I was, so the sayings began flying around about me.
- "Yes, I'm bi, I like both men and boys (not!)" "Yes, I'm bi, I just
- buy buy buy..." and the best and my favorite, " Yes, I'm bi, both
- top and bottom..."
- Whatrelevance does all of this have, well, it is uncomfortable to
- be called something you aren't, even if it's being done with the best
- of intentions. But for me, I could really care less what other
- people think of me when they don't know me. It also brought me to
- think about what my straight friends go through when they are seen with
- me all the time. It's the same. Her in NM I'm a fairly recognised gay
- because I used to write a column on lesbigay issues for a local paper
- which included a picture (and it starts up again in a few weeks, I just
- found out, after a year and a half hiatus...). SO my straight friends
- would sometimes worry that people would think they were gay. My answer
- was always, so let them. They can be wrong if they want to be wrong.
- If they really care, they'll ask..
-
- >
- ******************************************************************
- * Flapjack * "Yes, I'm bi, - *
- * B7/8 f+ w (c+d)v g++ k+(+)v
- * s(-/+)v m e r(=) * both top and bottom." *
- *******************************************************************
-
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-