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- From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
- Subject: thermal underpants
- Organization: AT&T
- Distribution: usa
- Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:03:31 GMT
- Message-ID: <1992Dec22.200331.15916@cbnewsk.cb.att.com>
- Lines: 63
-
- I had always hated to wear thermal underpants, no matter how bad the
- weather was, because I had never found any that fit me. As I am rather
- small-boned and slim, though athletically built (ie., hard-to-fit),
- I tend to find the nearest-fit in men's thermals to be barely big enough
- in the legs, while being way-too-big in the waist. This weekend, as I
- was/am bound and determined to have some good cold-weather-workout gear,
- I went shopping for thermals...... determined to find something that
- _would_ fit, and not to go home w/o same. I went to the biggest army/navy
- store downtown (I. Goldberg's), and scoured the racks of men's thermals
- in the hopes of finding something to fit. The smallest size in men's
- thermals is apparently 30-32 waist. I have a 27 waist. I also have
- a pair of 30-32 men's thermals at home that I can barely get my thighs
- into, and usually wear those with a safety-pin in the waistband.....
- .... not an ideal situation. I was on the verge of becoming frustrated,
- when it occurred to me to look thorough the racks of women's thermals.
- My inner self paused for a moment, saying, "Keith, what are you doing?
- You _know_ that manly-men don't wear women's underpants". My other inner
- self said, "Keith, if you find a pair that looks as if they'll fit, then
- buy 'em dammit!". My second inner self won the debate, so here I am poring
- through the racks of women's thermal pants, only to discover that they are
- sized either in "women's sizes" (ie., 5,6,7, and so on), or by hip size,
- though a few of them are sized by waist size, the way that men's underwear
- are. I compares the "specs" on a number of different brands, with their
- own separate sizing schemes, and determined that a women's small should
- fit me properly. I opened a package. The legs looked long enough,
- (I stand 5'11") they looked about big enough around in the thighs and
- in the hips, and the waistband looked just-right! The only thing missing
- was that flap that they put in the front of men's jockey shorts and thermal
- underpants. As for me, I haven't used "the flap" since I was about 14,
- and for the life of me, I cannot understand why they still make 'em that
- way, when it is so much more convenient to simply pull down the waistband
- in the front when you have to "go". At worst, the flap is an extra obstacle
- to surmount when you _really_ have to "go".
-
- Anyway, I got ta' thinkin' about men and women and underwear. I thought
- about a previous SO who enjoyed wearing my jockey-shorts. I thought that
- it was strange behavior at the time, but she assured me that the cotton
- was a much healthier environment for FSO's than a lot of that synthetic
- material that lots of women's undies are made from. My response was:
- "That is all well and good, but would you consider buying your own?".
- If I were still seeing her, she would probably want to wear these thermals
- that I just bought. She was certainly tall enough. She was sorta'
- light-boned, slender, and athletic-looking... much like my sister would
- look, that is, if I _had_ a sister. Her waist was about an inch smaller
- than mine, her hips were a coupla' inches bigger (that was why my jeans
- looked better on her butt than on mine), her thighs were noticeably bigger
- than my own, and her calves were quite-a-bit bigger (ballet training
- _tells_, folx). She stood about 5'7" or 5'8", and 130-n-change. To make
- a long story short, my new thermals would be safe, because, though the waist
- and hips would fit, she would not be able to get her legs into them.
- If she went with the next-larger size in order to fit her heavenly
- shaped-and-toned legs, then she would have to do the safety-pin-bit
- with the waistband...... the _same_ problem that _I_ have with the
- men's thermals!
-
- I can't help but think that _one day_ the folx who make athletic gear
- (you know, those garments that _have to_ fit men/women of athletic
- proportions), would get together with the folx that make thermal undies,
- and a KILLING would be made!
-
- What do ya' think, folx?
-
- Keith R
-