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  1. Newsgroups: comp.os.os2.advocacy
  2. Path: sparky!uunet!gatech!rpi!utcsri!geac!zooid!kovarski
  3. From: Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org>
  4. Subject: -= Signature Recommendations =-
  5. Organization: The Zoo of Ids
  6. Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 20:23:54 GMT
  7. Message-ID: <1993Jan2.202354.16020@zooid.guild.org>
  8. Lines: 203
  9.  
  10.                         The Funniest Lines
  11.                         ==================
  12.  
  13. Here is a collection of Lines. You can use any of them in your
  14. signatures files. This list will be updated regularly. Enjoy...
  15.  
  16. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
  17. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  18. "If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates
  19. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  20. "I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
  21.  system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987
  22. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  23. "OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
  24. next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this 
  25. system." Bill Gates, 1988
  26. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  27. "In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that
  28. out..." - Bill Gates, 1992 
  29. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  30. "While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."     
  31. - Philippe Kahn, 1992
  32. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  33. "New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat." 
  34. - Datamation, 1992
  35. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  36. " Why are manhole covers round?
  37.   How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"
  38. - Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992
  39. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  40. (Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!
  41. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  42. 2.0 is better than 1.
  43. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  44. Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
  45. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  46. Bugs come in through open Windows.
  47. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  48. Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
  49. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  50. Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS!  Try today's OS/2!
  51. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  52. Dos: Venerable.  Windows: Vulnerable.  OS/2: Viable.
  53. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  54. Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.
  55. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  56. DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
  57. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  58. Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
  59. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  60. Friends don't let friends use Windows.
  61. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  62. Have you crashed your Windows today?
  63. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  64. He who laughs last uses OS/2.
  65. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  66. How do you make Windows faster?  Throw it harder!
  67. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  68. How do you spell relief? OS/2!
  69. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  70. I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
  71. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  72. I love running Windows! NOT!
  73. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  74. I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*
  75. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  76. I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!
  77. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  78. If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
  79. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  80. If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
  81. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  82. If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
  83. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  84. It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...
  85. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  86. MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
  87. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  88. My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
  89. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  90. One man's Windows are another man's walls.
  91. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  92. OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows.
  93. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  94. OS/2 in '92!
  95. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  96. OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
  97. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  98. OS/2: Logic, not magic.
  99. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  100. OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
  101. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  102. OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
  103. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  104. OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
  105. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  106. OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
  107. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  108. OS/2: The human way of Computing!
  109. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  110. OS/2: Your brain.  Windows: Your brain on drugs.
  111. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  112. See the Future; See OS/2.  Be the Future; Run OS/2.
  113. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  114. The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
  115. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  116. The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
  117. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  118. To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
  119. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  120. Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
  121. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  122. Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!
  123. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  124. Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
  125. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  126. What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
  127. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  128. What's so great that people are switching to Windows?
  129. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  130. What?!?  DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
  131. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  132. When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
  133. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  134. Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
  135. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  136. WindowError:001 Windows loaded.  System in danger.
  137. WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
  138. WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every 
  139.                 file.
  140. WindowError:004 Erronious error.  Nothing wrong.
  141. WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted.  System confused.
  142. WindowError:006 Malicious error.  Desqview found on drive.
  143. WindowError:007 System price error.  Inadequate money spent.
  144. WindowError:008 Broken window.  Watch for glass fragments.
  145. WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd.  God knows what has happened.
  146. WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow.  Mailbox full.
  147. WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space.  Need 50 meg minimum.
  148. WindowError:00C Memory hog error.  More ram needed.  More!  More!
  149. WindowError:00D Window closed.  Do not look out.
  150. WindowError:00E Window open, do not look in.
  151. WindowError:00F Unexplained error.  Please tell us how it happened.
  152. WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
  153. WindowError:014 Nonexistent error.  This cannot really be happening.
  154. WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows.  Try the door.
  155. WindowError:016 Door locked.  Try control-alt-delete
  156. WindowError:017 Keyboard locked.  Try anything you can think of.
  157. WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error.  System destroyed.
  158. WindowError:019 User error.  It's not our fault.  Is not!  Is not!
  159. WindowError:01A Operating system overwritten.  Terribly sorry.
  160. WindowError:01B Illegal error.  Do not get this error.
  161. WindowError:01C Uncertainty error.  Uncertainty may be inadequate.
  162. WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code.  System crashed.
  163. WindowError:01E Timing error.  Please wait.  And wait.  And wait.
  164. WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
  165. WindowError:020 Error recording error codes.  Remaining errors lost.
  166. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  167. Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!
  168. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  169. Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!
  170. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  171. Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT
  172. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  173. Windows is a pane
  174. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  175. Windows is great if you can make it work.
  176. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  177. Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
  178. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  179. Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
  180. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  181. Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
  182. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  183. Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
  184. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  185. Windows NT? New Technology?  I don't think so...
  186. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  187. Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."
  188. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 
  189. Windows: A View to be Killed.
  190. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  191. Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
  192. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  193. Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
  194. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  195. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  196. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  197. Windows: The CP/M of the future!
  198. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  199. Windows: The Gates of hell.
  200. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  201. Windows?  Homey don't play that!
  202. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  203. Windows?  WINDOWS?!?  Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...
  204. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  205. Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
  206. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  207. You're throwing it all out the Windows!
  208. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
  209.                            
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