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- Newsgroups: soc.singles
- Path: sparky!uunet!cis.ohio-state.edu!pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu!linac!att!cbnewse!cbnewsd!att-out!cbfsb!cbnewsf.cb.att.com!sms
- From: sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein)
- Subject: Re: IMPERFECTIONS (was: Hints)
- Message-ID: <1992Nov17.064439.7485@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
- Sender: news@cbfsb.cb.att.com
- Organization: AT&T
- References: <BxACJG.F7G@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> <1992Nov6.161759.15687@schbbs.mot.com> <25769@sybase.sybase.com>
- Distribution: usa
- Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 06:44:39 GMT
- Lines: 44
-
- In article <25769@sybase.sybase.com> mysti@sierra.sybase.com (Mysti Rubert) writes:
- >In article <1992Nov6.161759.15687@schbbs.mot.com>, Matt Valentine writes:
- >
- >|> I dont really believe that those super-intense feelings that are present
- >|> in the first year or so of the relationship are ever as strong again.
- >|> Yes, there still can be romance, but the people should start accepting
- >|> each other as imperfect.
- >
- >Whoa, since when does accepting another human as imperfect kill your
- >desire for them? It has been my experience that feelings (physical as
- >well as emotional) intensify over time as the relationship progresses
- >and matures. If a relationship is dead after a year, or stops
- >growing once you get to know the person better, well....
- >
- >--
- >========================
- >Mysti Rubert, Oaktown, California
- >
-
- I don't think it's the inability to accept people as being imperfect.
- I feel that the inability to compromise is the problem.
- The belief that "What I feel is right, what you think is wrong."
-
- I would expect my SO to be imperfect. And I would hope she would
- expect the same of me, being imperfect. I would also hope that
- when these differences creep up during the relationship, we would
- talk about our interpretations of the others actions and develop
- an understanding, and care enough to alter our behavior in order
- to keep the relationship strong and growing. I'm not talking about
- changing who we are just to satisfy someone else. I'm talking about
- a willingness to express ourselves or communicate a little differently
- in order to help a relationship we care about to stay strong and alive.
- Obviously, if we don't care enough about the relationship, then the
- effort isn't worth the time and energy. That should be communicated also.
-
- I also believe that although some of the feelings or excitement
- present during the beginning stages of the relationship may change
- or fade, they are constantly being replaced by new ones, just as
- strong, just as important, just as exciting.
-
- Steve
-
- just my thoughts.
- they may change tomorrow.
-