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- From: scratchy.caltech.edu!nathan (Nathan Mates)
- Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
- Subject: Car Acronyms- Everything That's Been Posted
- Date: 20 Nov 1992 08:04:57 GMT
- Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
- Lines: 248
- Message-ID: <1ei679INN7i5@gap.caltech.edu>
- NNTP-Posting-Host: scratchy.caltech.edu
- Originator: nathan@scratchy
-
- Since everyone seems to have slowed down (momentarily) in the posting of
- car acronyms, here's everything that's been posted, arranged by make, and
- airline acronyms have been thrown it at NO EXTRA COST!!!
-
- Nathan
-
-
- Acura Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
- Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
- All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
- Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
- Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
- Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?
-
- Audi Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
-
- BMW Babbling Mechanical Wench
- Beastly Monstrous Wonder
- Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
- Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
- Big Money Waste
- Big Money Works
- Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
- Born Moderately Wealthy.
- Break My Windows
- Broken Money Waster
- Broken Monstrous Wonder
- Brutal Money Waster
- Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
- Big Money Waster
- Blasphemized Motorized Wreck
- Bastard Money Wielders
-
- Buick Big Ugly Import Car Killer
- Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
- Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean
-
- Camaro Can't America Make A Real One?
-
- Chevrolet Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
- Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time
- Chevy Charged Heavily
- Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet
-
- Chrysler Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
- Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
-
- Citroen Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
-
- Dodge Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
- Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
- Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
-
- Datsun Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
-
- Fiat F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
- Failure in Automotive Technology
- Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
- Fix It Again Tony?
- Fix It All the Time
- Fuck in a Taxi.
-
- Ford F**ked over rebuilt Dodge
- F**ker Only Runs Downhill
- F*cked on Race Day
- F*cking Over-Rated Disaster
- F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous
- First On Recall Day
- First on race day
- Fix Or Repair Daily
- Found on road dead
- Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
- F*ckin Owner Real Dumb!!
- (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
-
- GMC Garage Man's Companion
- Generally Mediocre Cars
- Get More Chicks
- Got More Crap
- Grungy Merchandise
- Got Mechanic Coming
-
- G.T.i. Got Tossers Inside
-
- Honda Helping Out Nips Destroying America
- How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
- Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
- Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
- Hand Over Dollars to Asians
-
- Jaguar Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail
-
- Jeep Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts
- Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
- Just Eat Every Pickle.
- Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
- Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
- Jumps Everything Ever Parked
-
- Mazda Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
-
- Mopar Most Often Passed At Races
- Mostly Old Parts And Rust
- Mostly Old Paint And Rust
- Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
- Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
-
- Nissan Now In Some Shitty Automobile Nightmare
- Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon
-
- Oldsmobile Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking
- Everything
- Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
- Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late
- Everyday
-
- Pinto Put In New Transmission Often
-
- Plymouth Please Let Your Mother Out <from> Under The Hood!
- Pussy Lips <in> Your MOUTH
-
- Pontiac Poor old ni**er thinks it's a Cadillac
- Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac
-
-
- PORSCHE Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
- Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
- Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
- Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
-
- Renault Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash
-
- SAAB Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies
- Such an arrogant bastard!
- Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
-
- Subaru Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
-
- Toyota Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
-
- Triumph The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
-
- VW Very Worthless
-
-
- Holden ( An Australian manufacturer ) used to make a great selling point
- of their "Radial Tuned Suspension"
- Everyone else called it Roughly Tuned Suspension......
-
- STP Stop Those Pistons.
- E.F.I. Extra Fucking Insurance
- BOW TIE Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines
- NAPA Never Any Parts Available.
-
- Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster?
- A: A towtruck.
-
- Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
- A: Passengers.
-
- Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
- A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.
-
- I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it
- doesn't".
-
- Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
- A: Push it over a cliff.
-
- A friend went to a dealer the other day and said,
- "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo."
-
- The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."
-
-
- FORD ANNOUNCES NEW CAR FOR 1993
-
- GRAND RAPIDS MI, Ford Motor Company announced today the introduction of a
- new line of luxury automobiles. It's design is said to have been drawn
- from the company's long history of past innovations and contributions to
- the automobile industry. In respect to Ford's outstanding achievments,
- commitment to excellence and overall quality, the new car is being
- christened, with Arnold Schwartzenegger's endorsement, the 'Total Recall'.
-
- Air France Air Chance
-
- ALITALIA (The) Airplane Lands In Toronto And (the) Luggage In
- Australia
-
- BWIA (British West Indian Airways) : But Will It Arrive?
-
- CAAC (Civil Aviation Administration of China)
- China Air Always Canceled
- China Air Always Crashed
-
- Delta Don't Even Leave The Airport
- Don't Even Let Them Aboard.
- Delta's Sky West: Scare West. . .
-
- EL AL Every Landing Always Late
-
- Lufthansa Let Us Fuck The Hostess And Not Say Anything.
- Lousy Useless Fliers: They Haven't Any Navigational Systems Aboard
-
- Northwest Orient Northworst Disorient
-
- PIA Please Inform Allah
- Pray I'll Arrive
-
- PSA Poor Sailors Airline
-
- QANTAS Queenies And Nymphomaniac Transvestite Air Stewards
- QUeers And Nymphos Trained As Staff
-
- Sabena Such A Bad Experience; Never Again!
-
- TWA Try Walking Across
- Trembling Wings Airlines.
- The Worst Airlines
- Teeny Weeeny Airlines
-
- US AIR Unquestionably Still Allegheny In Reality.
-
-
- *********************************************************************
- *I ALSO HAVE: *
- *Political Incorrectness: *
- * Bill Clinton Jokes Lawyer Jokes Blonde Jokes *
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- *********************************************************************
- * A .sig designed to keep me busy for quite a while *
- *********************************************************************
- * Nathan Mates nathan@cco.caltech.edu *
- *********************************************************************
- --
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- *I ALSO HAVE: *
- *Political Incorrectness: *
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