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- Newsgroups: alt.feminism
- Path: sparky!uunet!stanford.edu!ames!haven.umd.edu!wam.umd.edu!sfjr
- From: sfjr@wam.umd.edu (Steve Russell)
- Subject: People As Objects Of Desire ( was liberal men etc.)
- Message-ID: <1992Nov15.170248.5068@wam.umd.edu>
- Sender: usenet@wam.umd.edu (USENET News system)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: rac3.wam.umd.edu
- Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
- Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 17:02:48 GMT
- Lines: 94
-
- Article 2850 of alt.feminism:
- From: schultz@unixg.ubc.ca (Stewart Schultz)
- Newsgroups: alt.feminism
- Subject: Re: liberal men are a hot item?
- Date: 14 Nov 1992 20:49:54 GMT
-
-
-
- >Second, it could be that there are a large number
- >of women who want "successful" men who *also* hold egalitarian
- >sex-role ideals. I don't think there is a big contradiction there.
-
- Stewart Schultz schultz@unixg.ubc.ca writes:
-
- But a 'successful' man with not-so-egalitarian ideals will win out most
- of the time over an 'unsuccessful' man with egalitarian ideals. This
- means simply that there's more of a payoff for being successful than
- egalitarian. Just as there's more of a payoff to a woman for being
- 'beautiful' than in being a long-time fan of William F. Buckley :).
-
- I agree with the observation you are trying to make in the
- above paragraph. Im not assuming you do, but I long ago
- gave up trying to live like that. I strive to be who I
- am most comphortable being, letting the "pay-offs" fall
- where they will. I dont consider it pay-off having a woman
- notice me due to an image of "success" I may project, even
- if she comes to have a fuller of appreciation of who I am
- afterwards. The fact that it took this image to attract
- her tells me one thing I dont like about her despite other
- positive qualities she may have.
-
- Like I said, Im not saying you subsribe to these things,
- you are just making an observation, and I am making
- a tangental comment. Thanks
-
- Steve R.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- In fact, your statistics also imply that 'conservative women are a hot
- item,' but I don't see you pushing that idea here. Why aren't you
- saying that there's a 'large number of men who want "beautiful" women
- who *also* hold conservative political ideals'? Wouldn't that be a de
- facto trivialization of the beauty myth? Isn't the symmetrical claim a
- subtle brushoff of the success myth?
-
- >Anyway, I don't think anybody's stastistics have really contradicted
- >anybody else's. I'm think we're both right, myself.
-
- Well, all you've shown is that there's a mean difference between the
- sexes on general questions of division of labor; how and at what point
- these differences come into play in an intimate relationship is still an
- open question IMO. I'm saying that they usually don't become an
- important issue until fairly well into a relationship, often after
- several years. That's where the numbers conflict.
-
- Even assuming more liberal women than men, it doesn't strictly follow
- that liberal men are a 'hot item' in initial attractiveness, either in
- an absolute sense or relative to conservative men. First, it's a
- certainty that the number of women who emphasize this criterion above
- all others is far smaller than the total number of men who satisfy it,
- which takes most of the wind out of the sails of any 'hot item'; and
- second, in relation to 'conservative' men, you're assuming that a
- woman's political affiliation is independent of her tendency to select
- on that basis.
-
- For example, a case could be made that the population of women who
- select by political ideals is overrepresented by 'conservative' women,
- perhaps because of their generally strict adherence to religious and
- 'traditional' values. That overrepresentation could result in no
- overall difference in 'attractiveness' between conservative and liberal
- men, depending on how the numbers work out.
-
- Of course there's also the assumption that people in general choose like
- rather than unlike or complementary mates, which is not the case at all
- in regards to personality and temperament attributes. Couples are
- almost always polarized in fundamental ways, and they become
- increasingly polarized with time. In fact, the polarization is often
- the reason for both the initial attraction and the eventual breakup.
- That political ideology doesn't conform to this sort of pattern is not
- at all clear. There are plenty examples of religious and political
- mismatches in my experience, anyway.
-
- It's an interesting question, but I think it would be news to most
- liberal men :-).
-
- -S. Schultz
-
-
-