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- Newsgroups: talk.rape
- Path: sparky!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!sol.ctr.columbia.edu!The-Star.honeywell.com!umn.edu!lynx!triton.unm.edu!lazlo
- From: lazlo@triton.unm.edu (Lazlo Nibble)
- Subject: Re: More on fantasies and discussing one or two (was) Re: Rape in any form ...
- Message-ID: <m2pm45c@lynx.unm.edu>
- Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 18:22:10 GMT
- Organization: Sporadic and incomplete
- References: <SYNTH.92Jul29115142@deepthought.unm.edu> <t5nmkv=@lynx.unm.edu> <SYNTH.92Jul29195010@deepthought.unm.edu>
- Lines: 79
-
- synth@deepthought.unm.edu (Synth F. Oberheim) writes:
-
- > [ WARNING: This post contains some descriptions that may be of a
- > sensitive nature to some of the readership. Please hit 'n' now. ]
-
- >>> To them it's just an image of sex they're thinking of; of taking the
- >>> girl, ripping off all her clothes, and getting their rocks off inside
- >>> her.
- >>
- >> How do you *know* that?
- >
- > How do you think? This is what they themselves described. You think I
- > would just conjure this out of nowhere? From where do you derive such
- > assumptions?
-
- The fact that the image of sex is all they described doesn't mean that
- it's, as you claim, "just an image of sex they're thinking of". You
- don't know whether or not their fantasy includes consent unless they
- specifically say so. From where do you derive the assumption that it
- doesn't?
-
- > ...up above is your first example. Here's another: "God would I love
- > to shove my DICK in her mouth --" -- this in regard to someone they
- > barely know. Now tell me: do you honestly think there is nothing in
- > the above that suggests dominance or force?
-
- It's suggested, but to blow up that suggestion into a full-blown rape
- fantasy requires a leap of logic that you're a lot more eager to make than
- I am. "I'd love to shove my dick in her mouth", as a vulgar but
- straightforward description of a sexual act, would safely apply to plenty
- of sexual fantasies *I've* had, but the vast majority of those same
- fantasies weren't rape fantasies . . . so it's hard for me to take you
- seriously when you assume that most of the times *you've* heard such a
- decription, they *were* describing rape fantasies.
-
- And by the way -- since when do dominance or force automatically imply
- rape? I've played out sexual scenes both in my head and in real life that
- had plenty of both, but have somehow managed to avoid being raped or
- raping anybody myself. Fancy that.
-
- >> So which of these two possible situations are you using as the primary
- >> foundation for your opinion? The times when you were presented with
- >> someone else's outright rape fantasy, or the times when you heard a
- >> fantasy but didn't hear anything about consent and therefore decided to
- >> *interpret* it as a rape fantasy?
- >
- > Are you saying that if you drug someone's drink, render them
- > unconscious, and have sex with them, thus sidestepping consent, it's not
- > rape? And similarly, if you have a desire to fuck someone, and you have
- > an image of a limp, lifeless receptacle for sex -- not an image of a
- > mutual sexual *encounter* -- then that's not also an image of rape?
-
- If these fantasies ("Gee, Synth . . . I'd really love to slip her a mickey
- and then pound my dick into her while she's unconscious" . . . "Man, sex
- with her would be really great if she'd just lie there like a corpse while
- I fucked her" . . . ) are really typical of the fantasies of the males you
- were socialized with, then the fact that you still associated with them
- says almost as much about you as it does about them. (It sure as hell
- doesn't sound like the people *I* remember hanging out with. Did you have
- a little circle of gutter-trash you were socialized with part-time on the
- side?)
-
- > I agree that simply hearing of someone expressing a desire to have sex
- > with someone, without explicitly describing whether or not that person
- > consents, cannot be construed to be a rape fantasy.
-
- From where I sit, it obviously looks like you're construing exactly that.
-
- >> Based on personal experience and observation ... I've seen that most men
- > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
- > If this is the source of the confusion, I apologize: I never meant to
- > suggest that these are the facts for describing a majority sample of the
- > male race.
-
- That's what the words "most men" mean. If you don't want your words to be
- misunderstood, pick better words.
-
- --
- Lazlo (lazlo@triton.unm.edu)
-