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- Newsgroups: alt.support
- Path: sparky!uunet!noc.near.net!wpi.WPI.EDU!wpi.WPI.EDU!xine
- From: xine@wpi.WPI.EDU (a poor excuse for a red m+m)
- Subject: Re: Loss and how to adjust
- Message-ID: <1992Jul23.145903.26999@wpi.WPI.EDU>
- Sender: news@wpi.WPI.EDU (USENET News System)
- Nntp-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu
- Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
- References: <y#=mv6n.noring@netcom.com> <1992Jul20.150434.18199@genie.slhs.udel.edu> <1992Jul21.191115.12686@rchland.ibm.com>
- Distribution: usa
- Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:59:03 GMT
- Lines: 38
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-
- i understand most of what you went through, as i, in a way, killed my (ex)
- fiance (he felt he couldn't live without me and took his life after i broke
- off the relationship). the guilt was unbearable for what seemed like forever
- but was only a couple months, and friends (of ours) got upset with me after
- a month or so because i wasn't moving on. i felt guilt about even looking
- at another male in a sexual way, because i was sure that michael would have
- been upset-- finally, though, i realized that he loved me so very much that
- he would want me to move on, and have the life he always thought i deserved,
- with people that i loved. that was a big turning point.
- i didn't get involved with someone until six months after his death. this
- person never knew mike, but he met me right after mike died, and watched me
- go through everything, and helped me out when he thought it would be helpful;
- otherwise he just stayed out of the way. i think that this was the best thing
- i did: get involved with someone supportive, but someone who didn't know the
- deceased, so that the guilt would not be fed. he asks about michael sometimes,
- and i try to shut him up-- i think it is best to be with someone who is willing
- to let the past be the past, over and done with.
- i had went to one counseling session, didn't find it helpful because the
- doctor told me stuff i already knew, but just couldn't implement or make
- myself believe. my friends- our friends- were the most supportive, loving
- group for me, even though they kicked me in the ass a few times with huge
- lightbulbs of truth that i didn't want to see then. like my delusion that
- something like this would happen with every man i ever became infatuated with.
-
- hope this helps some, and please feel free to contact
- me via email (i tried emailing you, but it said it would
- not work to do so).
-
- --xine
-
- --
- ... xine@wpi.wpi.edu... Christine Jesensky... a poor excuse for a red m&m...
-
- "Thank you for annihilating everything I know."
- --Joey the Lemur, MST3K
-
-