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2004-05-25
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2KB
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27 lines
You tOA Hardcore Vampire Fans are all alike. I'm out there
doing fifteen thousands words on F**** Wrestle Dream Factory, and all
y'all wanna say is "Where's the tilde? Where's the WHIP ASS?" DO YOU
WANNA SEE MY HOUSE! My kids have made a Barbie Dreamhouse with the
mountain of tapes I've accumulated to review FOR YOU HARDCORE FANS! My
wife can't even TALK to me anymore because instead of being able to have
a conversation, I judge her workrate at doing the dishes. And You think
I'm gonna let you motherfuckers call MY jokes! You know what being funny
on the internet will get you- go ask Phil Schneider- he actually WATCHED
Thunder for two years- EVERY GODDAM MINUTE of it for you miserable
ingrates, and now what does he have- he doesn't have a POT to PISS in!
Take Phil Rippa. Phil Rippa used to be the nicest kid you'll ever meet-
and all he wanted to be was hardcore and- y'know what?- THAT'S what he
became. "Give me the US Indie stuff- I can take it! Gimme the ATHENA-
I'll LIKE IT!" SURE he's your hardcore hero now but have you tried to
carry on a conversation with him NOW?! LLPW reviews has turned his mind
into oatmeal. BUT HE'S HARDCORE, GODDAMMIT! So this is for you, John D
Williams. I'm telling you now. Give up this tOa Hardcore lie. Put on the
click ads and strut down and do a Nitro recap of 1wrestling.com and do
those live netcasts with Jeremy Borash. When you're on the SCOOPS
simulcast of Break The Barriers Two discussing wristlocks with Al, you
won't hear the crowd chanting "HE's hardcore" anymore but I'll be able to
sleep at night. Sure it's too late for me- JESUS CHRIST! LOOK AT ME! But
it's not too late for you.... save yourself, Johnny... because deep
down.................. you'll be saving me....
- Dean Rasmussen, Cinco de Mayo 2000 Especial