You tOA Hardcore Vampire Fans are all alike. I'm out there
    doing fifteen thousands words on F**** Wrestle Dream Factory, and all
    y'all wanna say is "Where's the tilde? Where's the WHIP ASS?" DO YOU
    WANNA SEE MY HOUSE! My kids have made a Barbie Dreamhouse with the
    mountain of tapes I've accumulated to review FOR YOU HARDCORE FANS! My
    wife can't even TALK to me anymore because instead of being able to have
    a conversation, I judge her workrate at doing the dishes. And You think
    I'm gonna let you motherfuckers call MY jokes! You know what being funny
    on the internet will get you- go ask Phil Schneider- he actually WATCHED
    Thunder for two years- EVERY GODDAM MINUTE of it for you miserable
    ingrates, and now what does he have- he doesn't have a POT to PISS in!
    Take Phil Rippa. Phil Rippa used to be the nicest kid you'll ever meet-
    and all he wanted to be was hardcore and- y'know what?- THAT'S what he
    became. "Give me the US Indie stuff- I can take it! Gimme the ATHENA-
    I'll LIKE IT!" SURE he's your hardcore hero now but have you tried to
    carry on a conversation with him NOW?! LLPW reviews has turned his mind
    into oatmeal. BUT HE'S HARDCORE, GODDAMMIT! So this is for you, John D
    Williams. I'm telling you now. Give up this tOa Hardcore lie. Put on the
    click ads and strut down and do a Nitro recap of 1wrestling.com and do
    those live netcasts with Jeremy Borash. When you're on the SCOOPS
    simulcast of Break The Barriers Two discussing wristlocks with Al, you
    won't hear the crowd chanting "HE's hardcore" anymore but I'll be able to
    sleep at night. Sure it's too late for me- JESUS CHRIST! LOOK AT ME! But
    it's not too late for you.... save yourself, Johnny... because deep
    down.................. you'll be saving me....
- Dean Rasmussen, Cinco de Mayo 2000 Especial