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Text File  |  1994-04-13  |  12KB  |  332 lines
  1.  
  2.  
  3.               [*]        Turn Down Your Monitor        [*]
  4.               ===          (Where Available)           ===
  5.  
  6.  
  7. On a not-too-distant network run by TCP/IP,
  8. There were a bunch of MSTies, not much crazier than you or me.
  9. They talked about stars and gals and soup--
  10. Just another harmless discussion group.
  11. They treated net.loons with tact and grace
  12. Until one had a brainstorm that rocked all of cyberspace:
  13.  
  14. "I'll take these cheesy postings, the worst I can find--" (la la la)
  15. "I'll put in wacky comments, and blow everybody's minds." (la la la)
  16. Now, keep in mind, no one can say where this silliness all will end,
  17. Because this idea was picked up by a host of our UseNet friends...
  18.  
  19. Netizen Roll Call:
  20.  
  21.     Rob! (Huh?)
  22.     Jeff! (Present!)
  23.     Nightlemming! (Bite me, I'm evil!)
  24.     TV's Dale! (What are you doing, Dale?)
  25.  
  26.     Lisa! (Who?)
  27.     Matthew! (Sure, we all do!)
  28.     Michael! (A very nice name.)
  29.     Tom! (Mr. Bad Example!)
  30.  
  31.     Holly! (No compugeek!)
  32.     John! (No warranties...)
  33.     d.! (No comment.)
  34.     Dave! (HOOM am I addressing?)
  35.  
  36.     Kevin! (I'm not here!)
  37.     Lynsa! (Get a life!)
  38.     Harlan! (CONTINUED)
  39.     Steve! (Stop calling me Steve, Harlan!)
  40.  
  41.     Joe! (My!)
  42.     David! (Swiss Cheeser!)
  43.     David! (Stick to your day job.)
  44.     David! (Three, count 'em, three!)
  45.  
  46.     Chris! (Who opened the fourth seal?)
  47.     Eric! (int, int)
  48.     Mitchell! (MITCHELL!)
  49.     Spaaaatch! (He can scream all he wants!)
  50.  
  51. If you're wondering about libel suits, and other legal acts, (huh huh 
  52. huh?)
  53. Repeat to yourself, "It's just a joke. I should really just relax
  54. For Mystery UseNet Theater 3000."
  55.  
  56.  
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  69.  
  70.  
  71.                             ________________
  72.                           /****          ****\
  73.                          /**     o    o     **\
  74.                         /*                    *\
  75.                        /     o            o     \
  76.                       /                          \
  77.                      /*   o       ----       o   *\
  78.                     /*          / \  / \          *\
  79.                    /**   o     :___\/___:     o   **\
  80.                    \**   o     :   /\   ;     o   **/
  81.                     \*          \ /  \ /          */
  82.                      \*   o      `----'      o   */
  83.                       \                          /
  84.                        \     o            o     /
  85.                         \*                    */
  86.                          \**     o    o     **/
  87.                           \****          ****/
  88.                            `----------------'
  89.  
  90.                                 <clang>
  91.  
  92.  
  93.  
  94.                             ________________
  95.                           /-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)\
  96.                          /-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:\
  97.                         /-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:\
  98.                        /-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(\
  99.                       /-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)\
  100.                      /-(-:-(-:-(   22  (-:-(-:-(-:\
  101.                     /-:-)-:-)-:-) 2  2  )-:-)-:-)-:\
  102.                    /-:-(-:-(-:-(    2  (-:-(-:-(-:-(\
  103.                    \)-:-)-:-)-:-)  2    )-:-)-:-)-:-/
  104.                     \:-(-:-(-:-(  2222 (-:-(-:-(-:-/
  105.                      \:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-/
  106.                       \(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-/
  107.                        \)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-/
  108.                         \:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-/
  109.                          \:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-/
  110.                           \(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-/
  111.                            `----------------'
  112.  
  113.                                  <grin>
  114.  
  115.  
  116.  
  117.                             ________________
  118.                           /      (__)        \
  119.                          /       (oo)         \
  120.                         / /-------\/           \
  121.                        / / |     ||   (__)      \
  122.                       / *  ||----||   (oo)       \
  123.                      /     ~~    ~~333 \/-------\ \
  124.                     /             3   3 ||     | \ \
  125.                    /    nn    nn    33  ||----||  * \
  126.                    \ *  ||----||  3   3 ~~    ~~    /
  127.                     \ \ |     ||   333             /
  128.                      \ \-------/\    nn    nn     /
  129.                       \       (oo)   ||----||  * /
  130.                        \      (--)   ||     | / /
  131.                         \           /\-------/ /
  132.                          \         (oo)       /
  133.                           \        (--)      /
  134.                            `----------------'
  135.  
  136.                                   <moo>
  137.  
  138.  
  139.  
  140.                             ________________
  141.                           />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  142.                          />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  143.                         />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  144.                        />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  145.                       />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  146.                      />>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  147.                     />>>>>>>>>>>>>>44>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  148.                    />>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  149.                    \>>>>>>>>>>>>>44444>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  150.                     \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  151.                      \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  152.                       \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  153.                        \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  154.                         \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  155.                          \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  156.                           \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  157.                            `----------------'
  158.  
  159.                                  <pizza>
  160.  
  161.  
  162.  
  163. begin 644
  164. M4$L#!`H````&`(>DCQO!4K`6F@$````$```(````2$58-2Y!04$/`!(#)!4VE
  165. M)S@Y:GM,G6X?"08!$S3E]I;W&RH$"2*8_/HE&$(;_1+DT+=NS\H-2[<NF^'3;
  166. M*#\W)$@NW/C+K&_K@D0;UFY9D'/KCAU;=NY<,^2WZ,9?LLT+DFS9L6^&)PLR5
  167. M+,BJ5<NZ6?86_/B+:G>I-2E4D&;3LBWK$B31M'/#PH7[-JT;?Z+NUJ[N@IX%"
  168. M6.BT=$'\YST(H.F7=,-\/Q>DF^CVWHJW$/_6S/QHDO(R0C.@'RNW+-TYU0HB:
  169. M'`<!SNNZ35,4"^^NY;07]F'=DO&FPF7LV\*!:KIE^+)QYS+GQZXA>K1IR11Y8
  170. M-^/XE",E?]JQ(-O`^98OU'8N>GU&N2$_):J&5+@9K7FP]`DK^=DW=24NX_[F/
  171. MO3&-QLU5=1EQ]N7^VWNT;^^V"*?$+_.41;,XDV'%$)W_9]/:;0%.A0]B2F:W$
  172. MQ67"R]'^+9SGHN`_@";`%205(;$]*\@[3@S+77$0WJAO"1[L'.SEDK'C<]&>H
  173. M=)$$IOIHKG!,?[MN@;:U"]<%<EKO8DG&C;B_98M@R!/;:]00#/B_(`+.$U!+<
  174. M`0(*`0H````&`(>DCQO!4K`6F@$````$```(``````````````````````!([
  175. =15@U+D%!05!+!08``````0`!`#8```#``0``````B
  176. ``
  177. end
  178. size 524
  179.  
  180.                             <zip>
  181.  
  182.  
  183.  
  184.  
  185.  
  186.                             ________________
  187.                           /FYA*MST3K*IMO*YHBW\
  188.                          /FIAWOL*TVF*3M*CFV*PC\
  189.                         /UNIX*FIJAGH*VHS*G*HOOM\
  190.                        /SoL*MVB*MS-DOS*C*FIJASOI\
  191.                       /CTR*EMACS********ACE*BASIC\
  192.                      /WWW*BEM*TS*      *JP*LPBN*vi\
  193.                     /ASCII*PMFHC* 6666 *F/X*A&E*LOX\
  194.                    /RTFAQ*MV*FTP* 6    *OMSI*MN*SRIA\
  195.                    \OMNIMAX*BCPL* 6666 *WAIS*VCR*BBI/
  196.                     \YABA*DCF*CC* 6  6 *IBM*FCC*FAQ/
  197.                      \TV*OCftAoE* 6666 *SIAS*ROTFL/
  198.                       \IMBO*.WAV*      *IIGS*UUCP/
  199.                        \mvp*SoLN********NFL*TMBG/
  200.                         \BAIII*I.K.*SNL*nn*TFOS/
  201.                          \NNTP*MN*<|> <|>*MSTH/
  202.                           \YOY*Ob*BCNU*G,D,&R/
  203.                            `----------------'
  204.  
  205.                                 <plonk>
  206.  
  207.  
  208.  
  209.                             ----------------
  210.                           /        |-----|   \
  211.                          / |-----| |     |    \
  212.                         /  |     | |_____|____ \
  213.                        /   |     |     /  |  |  \
  214.                       /    |_____|    /   |  |   \
  215.                      /  ____      \--/   /|--|    \
  216.                     /   |  |_____/    \-'          \
  217.                    /    |  |    |      |            \
  218.                    \    |__|    |      |            /
  219.                     \     ____ / \    /-|-----|    /
  220.                      \    |  |/   |--'\ |-----|   /
  221.                       \   |  |    |    \  ____   /
  222.                        \  |  |    |     \_|  |  /
  223.                         \ |__| |--------| |__| /
  224.                          \     |        |     /
  225.                           \    |--------|    /
  226.                            `----------------'
  227.  
  228.                                  <thud>
  229.  
  230.  
  231.  
  232.                               Inspired By
  233.                               -----------
  234. Mystery Science Theater 3000. No copyright infringement is intended, nor
  235. any official connection with the show implied. Believe me, if there were
  236.  any way to imply an official connection, it would have been exploited
  237.                               long since.
  238.  
  239.  
  240.                              Originated By
  241.                              -------------
  242.                Unknown; I couldn't get anyone to 'fess up.
  243.  
  244.                                 Writers
  245.                                 -------
  246.                              Dale Abersold
  247.                               David Bianco
  248.                              Steve Brinich
  249.                              Rob Brunskill
  250.                                Eric Burns
  251.                                Matt Duhan
  252.                              Holly Elliott
  253.                            Harlan Freilicher
  254.                               Chris French
  255.                               David Hines
  256.                               Lisa Jenkins
  257.                                  Lynsa
  258.                              John Mechalas
  259.                               Joe Merlino
  260.                              Michael Neylon
  261.                                  d. Page
  262.                             Kevin Podsiadlik
  263.                                Keith Rupp
  264.                               Tom Salyers
  265.                              Jeff Schaeffer
  266.                               TV's Spatch
  267.                             Dave van Domelen
  268.                              David G. White
  269.  
  270.  
  271.                         "Love Theme From MUT3K"
  272.                         -----------------------
  273.  
  274.                      set to "Love Theme From MST3K"
  275.                music by Joel Hodgson and Charlie Erickson
  276.                          words by "The Brains"
  277.                       Copyright Best Brains, Inc.
  278.                                        /
  279.                       new words by Petrea Mitchell
  280.               (with a little help from our UseNet friends)
  281.  
  282.                                 chords:
  283.                              C   F   C   F
  284.                              C   F   C   F
  285.                              C   F
  286.                              C   F
  287.                              C   F
  288.                              G
  289.                             (repeat, then:)
  290.                              C   F   C   F
  291.                              C   F   G
  292.                              F   G   C
  293.  
  294.                           ASCII Door Sequence
  295.                           ------/------------
  296.                             Petrea Mitchell
  297.  
  298.      I hereby declare these lyrics and door sequence Public Domain.
  299.  
  300.                               Door Masher
  301.                               -----------
  302.                             Elliott Mitchell
  303.  
  304.  
  305.                           For More Information
  306.                           --------------------
  307.               Contact <misties-request@jg.cso.uiuc.edu>.
  308.  
  309.                        Mailing List Maintained By
  310.                        --------------------------
  311.                              Michael Neylon
  312.                              John Mechalas
  313.  
  314.  
  315.                           If You Can Read This
  316.                           --------------------
  317.                           You're Too Darn Close
  318.  
  319.  
  320.                           and Cambot as himself
  321.  
  322.  
  323.                             Special Thanks to
  324.                             -----------------
  325.                                Alan Batie
  326.                               Britt Klein
  327.  
  328.  
  329.                      keep circulating the crossposts
  330.  
  331.  
  332.